NBSR: this is disgusting

Meery82 · August 2013

https://thestir.cafemom.com/pregnancy/159372/mom_hoping_for_a_daughter Sorry, I can't make it clicky. Just thought I would share this ridiculousness. I saw it posted on FB. People actually seem to find this cute. Ugh.

mcgeeva · August 2013

mcgeeva · August 2013

I hope they can afford that many children. I know I couldnt

Empireceo · August 2013

I mean, I get wanting each child, but I probably wouldn't go past 5, personally. It doesn't sound like her sons are unloved though.

Helenahhandbasket · August 2013

In fairness, they don't seem upset that thay have 12 sons. It just sounds like they (both of them) really want a daughter. As long as the children are loved and well taken care of, I really don't see the issue.

sschwege · August 2013

I don't like the way the article is written, saying 'poor mom'. Yes, poor mom for having 12 HEALTHY children.

I understand having your fingers crossed for one sex over the other, but the only way you should have more children is if you can happily welcome a child of either sex regardless of what you are hoping for. I always worry too that what if they get a girl next time and it's not what they were expecting. Like they want to dress her up in pink frilly dresses and she only wants to wear jeans, then what? It just seems like you are setting yourself up for disappointment either way. Not to mention the pressure you put on the poor child to be the girl you were praying for. Not just to be herself.

Babi2comingSoon2014 · August 2013

the family seems to be happy and healthy and even considering another child, i wont judge them just wish them a happy, healthy road ahead with all 12 children.

LeahV78 · August 2013

I really don't see what the issue here is. Sounds like they love all their children.

MzCurnett8886 · August 2013

I don't find this anymore 'gross' or sad than the families that go through fertility treatments for the sole purpose of having a certain sex. I mean how do those children feel that Mommy and Daddy wanted a girl/boy so bad they went out and spent thousands for that baby. I think that would cause some sibling resentment.

nicholssquared · August 2013

I think they're very blessed, and they don't seem unhappy. It would be one thing if each successive boy was a disappointment, but they don't seem to be. They all seem very loved. The article kept saying "poor mom," but I didn't get the impression that she pitied herself at all.

Furthermore, that statement about probability drives me crazy. The sex of each child is independent of the ones before it. What's the probability of her having a girl when she has 12 boys? 1/2. /sigh/

mysticl · August 2013

I read a different article about this family and after reading it I got the impression that the media are the ones playing up the "trying to have a girl" angle. My take on the parents was that it would be nice to have a girl but they are in no way disappointed that they had a boy. Also, the family is Catholic and does not believe in birth control. It's not like they are getting pregnant for the sole purpose of having a girl. It's more that she got pregnant and they thought that this time it would be a girl. I thought I was having a girl, doesn't make me love my son any less.

msmerymac · August 2013

sschwege said:

I don't like the way the article is written, saying 'poor mom'. Yes, poor mom for having 12 HEALTHY children.

I understand having your fingers crossed for one sex over the other, but the only way you should have more children is if you can happily welcome a child of either sex regardless of what you are hoping for. I always worry too that what if they get a girl next time and it's not what they were expecting. Like they want to dress her up in pink frilly dresses and she only wants to wear jeans, then what? It just seems like you are setting yourself up for disappointment either way. Not to mention the pressure you put on the poor child to be the girl you were praying for. Not just to be herself.

I feel that it sucks because 1) like you said, the child would have big shoes to fill, being the ONLY and much-longed-for girl, and 2) it seems like it would kind of make some of your boys feel like crap. Like for kid 2-12 you were hoping for a girl and *sigh* ANOTHER boy. Like, growing up, maybe they'll feel under valued because they weren't that girl you wanted, or vice versa.

theseaword · August 2013

nicholssquared said:

I think they're very blessed, and they don't seem unhappy. It would be one thing if each successive boy was a disappointment, but they don't seem to be. They all seem very loved. The article kept saying "poor mom," but I didn't get the impression that she pitied herself at all.

Furthermore, that statement about probability drives me crazy. The sex of each child is independent of the ones before it. What's the probability of her having a girl when she has 12 boys? 1/2. /sigh/

That is not how math works. If you flip a coin, it's 50/50 as well. However, the odds of flipping 12 heads in a row is nowhere near 50%.

MommyKristin88 · August 2013

OP, why did you choose the word "disgusting" to describe their situation?

ArgyleBride · August 2013

Actually, while the probability for any given baby is ~50/50, lots of individual men have large biases. Statistical anomaly aside, this guy is almost certainly one of them; he either has way more Y sperm or they are way better swimmers, but whatever the reason, he's much more likely to produce a boy in any pregnancy. We did a study on exactly this in my college stats class.

ArgyleBride · August 2013

nicholssquared is still right, though--regardless of what the actually probability of a boy is, it is independent for each child. That *is* how math works--she's talking about each kid individually, not a given set of 12 or 13.

Meery82 · August 2013

OP, why did you choose the word "disgusting" to describe their situation?

I think it's disgusting to keep popping out babies just to get one with the "correct" genitalia. What will the parents say to their boys? "Oh, you're only here because we wanted a girl. You're a failure right from the get go!" If, as a PP stated, it's true that the media played up the fact that they were trying for a girl and they truly just wanted that many children, boy or girl, then I take back my 'disgusting' statement.

secret214uWed28879 · August 2013

Who cares if she decides to try for a girl, sounds like she's happy with all of her sons and if she wants to try for a girl let her be. It's her and her husbands choice . Why is if disgusting?

Meery82 · August 2013

secret214uWed28879 said:

Who cares if she decides to try for a girl, sounds like she's happy with all of her sons and if she wants to try for a girl let her be. It's her and her husbands choice . Why is if disgusting?

Please refer to my statement right above your post.

Knelson84 · August 2013

Laurendag said:

Nicb13 said:
That's way too many kids. How the hell do you even afford that many?
Coupons, lots and lots of coupons. The mom of 13 whose youngest I graduated with shopped sales and used coupons on what was already on sale.
She bought about 200 dollars worth of groceries a week and usually only spent at the most 100 dollars.

$200!!!!!

It costs my parter and and I $150 a week on food for just the two of us as we try to catch the sales!

Although I have heard that AUS is more expensive but wow for 13 kids... My god

Australia needs to bring in this coupon thing!

RibbitGrl930 · August 2013

I saw this story on the news, and I never got the impression either of them were disappointed with the sex of any of their children. The "poor mom" sentiment seems to be coming more from the writers doing a bit of editorializing. The parents do seem genuinely happy. Now, maybe something has been said by the parents I did not hear, but based on what I have seen, "disgusting" is the last word I'd use to describe the situation.

mysticl · August 2013

Knelson84 said:

That's way too many kids. How the hell do you even afford that many?
Coupons, lots and lots of coupons. The mom of 13 whose youngest I graduated with shopped sales and used coupons on what was already on sale. She bought about 200 dollars worth of groceries a week and usually only spent at the most 100 dollars.
$200!!!!! It costs my parter and and I $150 a week on food for just the two of us as we try to catch the sales! Although I have heard that AUS is more expensive but wow for 13 kids... My god Australia needs to bring in this coupon thing!

In the USA there is a thing called extreme couponing. You buy multiple newspapers to get tons of coupons, combine them with store sales and loyalty rewards cards. It takes some effort and can be almost a part time job but there are people who buy hundreds of dollars worth of groceries and will pay less than $10. They end up with stockpiles of supplies so they will have years' worth of things like laundry detergent, paper towels, etc. in their homes.

nicholssquared · August 2013

TwilightMV said:

nicholssquared said:

I think they're very blessed, and they don't seem unhappy. It would be one thing if each successive boy was a disappointment, but they don't seem to be. They all seem very loved. The article kept saying "poor mom," but I didn't get the impression that she pitied herself at all.

Furthermore, that statement about probability drives me crazy. The sex of each child is independent of the ones before it. What's the probability of her having a girl when she has 12 boys? 1/2. /sigh/

That is not how math works. If you flip a coin, it's 50/50 as well. However, the odds of flipping 12 heads in a row is nowhere near 50%.

Actually I have a degree in mathematics (emphasis on probability) and that is exactly how it works. I have given the conditional probability of her having a girl given that she already has twelve boys, NOT the probability that she has twelve boys. I never said the probability of her having twelve boys was one half. Specifically, it's twelve choose zero times .5 raised to the 12th times .5 raised to the zero power. It's called binomial probability. Learn math and learn to read before opening your mouth.

Sorry if this is a bit harsh, but but being told that's "not how math works" when I studied it for four years and work with probabilities for a living is a bit irritating.

nicholssquared · August 2013

ArgyleBride said:

Actually, while the probability for any given baby is ~50/50, lots of individual men have large biases. Statistical anomaly aside, this guy is almost certainly one of them; he either has way more Y sperm or they are way better swimmers, but whatever the reason, he's much more likely to produce a boy in any pregnancy. We did a study on exactly this in my college stats class.

Absolutely agree with this, but the article specifically said "mathematically," so I gave the mathematical perspective. I don't have any expertise on the medical perspective.

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