Pretty Traumatic Day

MaybeBabyMama · August 2013

1) Was pulled aside at DD's daycare and told that she is a very problematic child and has been biting, pushing and bullying the other children. They used language that implied that she might be removed from the school if the situation does not improve.

2) The classes I was set to teach this coming Fall have been eliminated due to low enrollment and were consolidated with other Engineering courses. My rank as an Assistant Professor without tenure meant that I was the instructor who would not have classes to teach. I have been offered to work with our Engineering Co-Ops and internships. I am so disappointed. I worked so hard to get to the place I am and earn the degree I hold. This is such a major side step. But given the circumstances and our growing family, I don't have another option. This will definitely impact whether or not I continue to work after number 2. We moved here for me to teach at this University and never imagined the cut so quickly (ETA: Never imagined the cut at all)..

Just feeling stressed and a little directionless.

amsat · August 2013

I'm so sorry! What a rough day!

katykatykaty · August 2013

I'm so sorry you're going through that. It's crazy to me that someone as young as your daughter could be "bullying" other kids. It sounds like there might be some supervision issues, too.

beckynsean11 · August 2013

Ugh! I'm sorry you had such a crappy day! Hugs!

MaybeBabyMama · August 2013

katykatykaty said:

I'm so sorry you're going through that. It's crazy to me that someone as young as your daughter could be "bullying" other kids. It sounds like there might be some supervision issues, too.

I agree. We have had a lot of changes in the past few months and I know its been stressful on her. I have seen a little bit of what they are talking about at pick up time. And I wonder all the time about the quality or educators in the the classrooms. We picked a very good daycare for her but even with the best, its not me.

katykatykaty · August 2013

MaybeBabyMama said:

katykatykaty said:

I'm so sorry you're going through that. It's crazy to me that someone as young as your daughter could be "bullying" other kids. It sounds like there might be some supervision issues, too.

I agree. We have had a lot of changes in the past few months and I know its been stressful on her. I have seen a little bit of what they are talking about at pick up time. And I wonder all the time about the quality or educators in the the classrooms. We picked a very good daycare for her but even with the best, its not me.

I hate that feeling.

Hugs.

lvlichelle · August 2013

Aw, I am sorry your day has been so stressful. Hope this weekend gets better!

MaybeBabyMama · August 2013

Thank you guys for the support. Hubby has heard enough of my whining for the day

ellajune2012 · August 2013

Ugh, I'm sorry. I have lots of friends who are part-time lecturers or non-tenured professors in universities and they are always the first to go. On the flip side, a lot of universities aren't hiring many tenure-track professors these days because the adjuncts are a lot cheaper for them. It really sucks all around.

Sounds like your daughter might be acting up because she's frustrated about changes/stressed out? I know kids do that a lot because they can't really articulate their feelings the way an adult could. You're right; no matter how good a daycare is they aren't going to be able to give her the attention you would, since there's other kids there and they don't know her as well as you do. Did they suggest any solutions or just complain?

I don't really have an answer for you, sorry. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be all at once. ((hugs))

ladyglittersparkles · August 2013

So sorry
Hope your evening gets better

MaybeBabyMama · August 2013

ellajune2012 said:

Ugh, I'm sorry. I have lots of friends who are part-time lecturers or non-tenured professors in universities and they are always the first to go. On the flip side, a lot of universities aren't hiring many tenure-track professors these days because the adjuncts are a lot cheaper for them. It really sucks all around.

Sounds like your daughter might be acting up because she's frustrated about changes/stressed out? I know kids do that a lot because they can't really articulate their feelings the way an adult could. You're right; no matter how good a daycare is they aren't going to be able to give her the attention you would, since there's other kids there and they don't know her as well as you do. Did they suggest any solutions or just complain?

I don't really have an answer for you, sorry. I can only imagine how frustrating this must be all at once. ((hugs))

They didn't really have any solutions. Her 18-month check up will be in a couple weeks so we will talk to the pediatrician and maybe read some books. I figure learning a little more can't hurt, although I don't know how much it will help. We just don't see the behavior at home or when she is with her cousins. So its hard to try to redirect or reprimand appropriately.

Mcsweets · August 2013

Maybe the kids needed bit $:\$ ">

Kidding ...

I'm sorry you had a rough day, if its any consolation my DH has a very good degree from an private, well-ranked school (probably the best in our state) and it took him over 2 years to find a job. The one he has now, he got by taking a temp spot with the company through an agency. He couldn't even get INTERVIEWS. You're not alone, but I know that it's stressful.

LiFeIsAmIrAcLe · August 2013

Wow

that's a pretty awful day. Just try not to stress yourself out and take things one day at a time. It'll get better!

springbaby03 · August 2013

Ive worked in a daycare, we were required to fill out incident reports. (hitting, biting, bumps on noggin stuff like that) If your daughter has been causing multiple issues why are they dumping it on you all at once? And more importantly how are they addressing these issues with dd? I just wouldnt like the fact that they dropped it in your lap in one lump sum instead of the day of the first incident. Good luck with dd, kids go thru phases im sure you guys can get it worked out.

I always tell my sons teachers im a very involved parent and if my kid is having a problem or causing probs I want to know so the issue can be addressed asap.

rachbaby1 · August 2013

I hope that you get a chance to relax and pamper yourself a little this weekend - you certainly deserve it! So sorry all that happened at once.

ring_pop · August 2013

I'm sorry you had such a rough day.

What kind of engineer are you?

totalbabydoll4ever · August 2013

I'm sorry you're having a rough day. Sometimes when it rains, it pours. I agree that your daughters behaviour should not be dropped on you at once, but I also disagree that a toddlers behaviour can be considered bullying, considering by the very definition bullying has intent and a toddler cannot chose a specific target to pick on. What is being done for your dd when she is misbehaving at daycare? Children need consistency and if one provider is lax and lets it go and another comes down hard, then it only makes sense. Are her cousins older or the same age, you may not see the issue with older cousins cause they are more likely to "give in to the baby". I have worked in daycares, toddlers get frustrated and hit and bite, its part of their learning process. I think many children go through a biting stage, mine did, they just need to understand its not tolerated. I suggest, watch her and the daycare workers interact with her when they all do not think you are there or listen if you cannot watch, sometimes it is the adult triggering the behaviour and the frustrated toddler takes it out on someone their own size because they can.

GL hugs!! I'm sorry your having a rough day.

SVas1020 · August 2013

I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough day. I am a firm believer in "everything happens for a reason" even though it may be hard to fathom right now. It just means that there is a better opportunity for you out there!

lindsey1031 · August 2013

springbaby03 said:

Ive worked in a daycare, we were required to fill out incident reports. (hitting, biting, bumps on noggin stuff like that) If your daughter has been causing multiple issues why are they dumping it on you all at once? And more importantly how are they addressing these issues with dd? I just wouldnt like the fact that they dropped it in your lap in one lump sum instead of the day of the first incident. Good luck with dd, kids go thru phases im sure you guys can get it worked out. I always tell my sons teachers im a very involved parent and if my kid is having a problem or causing probs I want to know so the issue can be addressed asap.

I'm so sorry your day was so awful! I agree with the pp I quoted above. I think you should go back to the school and arrange a meeting with your child's teacher and the head teacher or administrator. Tell them that you want to discuss a plan that will help to improve the behavior they are seeing at school. Any teacher of a toddler classroom should be able to recognize that biting/hitting "bullying" (such a stupid word to use regarding a toddler!!) stems from an inability to communicate. They should be actively working to teach your child the skills to communicate - "Teeth are for food not friends, tell *other student* that it's your turn. Say, my turn." If they don't tell you they are doing something like this each time they catch her showing the undesired behavior, then they are not doing their best to help your child move through this stage. Be open to what they say, but don't take any shit if you feel like they have let the behavior slide at school! GL!

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Pretty Traumatic Day

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"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about You, but since I didn't get the chance, would You please hold them on Your lap and tell them about me?

BFP #4 6/26/13, EDD 3/8/14, Delivered @ 40w6d
Bethany Elizabeth born on 3/14/14 @ 6:48am weighing almost 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches.

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Want a personalized experience?

Pretty Traumatic Day

Re: Pretty Traumatic Day

"Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap and tell them about You, but since I didn't get the chance, would You please hold them on Your lap and tell them about me?

BFP #4 6/26/13, EDD 3/8/14, Delivered @ 40w6dBethany Elizabeth born on 3/14/14 @ 6:48am weighing almost 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches.

Choose Another Board

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BFP #4 6/26/13, EDD 3/8/14, Delivered @ 40w6d
Bethany Elizabeth born on 3/14/14 @ 6:48am weighing almost 8lbs 1oz and measuring 20 1/2 inches.