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Uh Oh did I just screw up? Talking to kid about smoking/cancer

HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
in Blended Families

Last night SS and I were reading one of the Diary of a Wimpy kid books.

There was a part where the kid enters a anti smoking poster contest.  He couldn't read anti smoking and then asked me some questions about smoking in general. No biggie. I took it as an opportunity to tell him some of the bad health consequences and how it makes your hair/clothes etc smell bad.

I generically asked if he knew anyone that smoked and he said his mom, then had a horrified look on his face. (The look he gets when he remembers he accidentally just said something he wasn't supposed to) and his stepfather. I didn't make a big deal out of mom smoking, I kind of let it slide since he was all weird about it,  but now I'm worried I did wrong about discussing all the health stuff because this morning he asked if his mom and step dad are going to die of cancer.

Is 9 years too young for me to have discussed that? I wouldn't think so. I was glad to have the opportunity to hopefully set a good precedent of making him aware how bad it is before he gets to middle school and maybe faces peer pressure to smoke.

My answer back to him about the mom and step dad might have been lame, I just said it is never too late to quit and that a lot of times when you quit your body is super cool and can fix itself.

 

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Re: Uh Oh did I just screw up? Talking to kid about smoking/cancer

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  • fellesferiefellesferie member
    You did just fine. 
    my read shelf:
    Erin's book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    MommyEllenSue said:
    I think you did fine. He needs to know the truth about smoking and that it's bad for you. I just had this conversation with my SK's too. They started naming off everybody they know that smokes including BM and SF. DH and I don't smoke but a lot of our family and friends do. So we just talked about how it's everybody's personal choice for their body and there is nothing wrong with that and you can only control yourself not other people.
    This exactly.

    Look, smoking kills people.  It's a fact.  It says it right there on the package that smoking can cause cancer.  You didn't tell SS anything that isn't true or that he couldn't find out on his own.  And I'm sure his pediatrician would have given him the same info.
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  • NineoceansNineoceans member
    We have been telling SS that smoking kills people since he was maybe 5 or 6. Because it does. His mom and her boyfriend smoke so they have a higher risk to be impacted by lung cancer....I mean what else is there to say ya know?
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    I just questioned myself because I don't want it coming back that me the SM told the kid mommy is gonna die. You know how things get twisted.
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  • HopeforthebestHopeforthebest member
    FTR we didn't know she smoked. DH said she did when he first met her but quit long ago. So it certainly wasn't brought up or done on purpose.
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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    Hopeforthebest said:
    I just questioned myself because I don't want it coming back that me the SM told the kid mommy is gonna die. You know how things get twisted.
    I understand that.  But again, smoking does in fact kill people.  If BM makes a big stink about it, explain what was said and leave it at that.
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    In fifth grade most kids take DARE and learn about smoking and drugs and alcohol anyway. Honestly I do not know how you get to 9 now without knowing smoking is horrendous for you.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • Littlejen22Littlejen22 member
    Even if you knew I would not o out of your way to tell him smoking can kill you but I would have no issue telling the child of a smoker that smoking can cause cancer, premature wrinkles, yellow teeth, skinny breath and skin and breathing issues as well as cause breathing issues and cancer for the people around the smoker that breathes it in.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
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  • SigirSigir member
    Hopeforthebest said:

    I just questioned myself because I don't want it coming back that me the SM told the kid mommy is gonna die. You know how things get twisted.

    Oh, you know it's going to come back to bite you, just like that. Unfortunately, that's how things go in contentious blended families. That doesn't mean that you didn't do the right thing- you did. I would brace for possible fallout though.

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  • CFjo2010CFjo2010 member
    @Hopeforthebest: I wonder if the pediatrician has already lectured BM about the smoking.  I know each time I take the kids in for physicals I have to fill out a questionnaire regarding their development and living situations and it specifically asks if anyone in the house smokes or if the kids spend any time in a home where people smoke.  I always have to check "yes" because DC and SM smoke (even though the kids are only there once a year), and the Dr promptly calls DC while we're there and lectures him about the dangers of smoking around the kids.  It's actually kind of funny.
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  • Ginlyn0Ginlyn0 member

    You did fine. DD was taught how dangerous smoking is because of how it has affected my own mother. My mother was diagnosed with COPD and has problems walking across the room without having breathing issues. She quit when her doctor told her to but it was too late, she had been chain smoking since 16. Sometimes side effects reverse after quitting but for her they haven't. We were told she would eventually end up on oxygen, ect. She has 3 different inhalers she takes daily plus neb treatments. DD's BD and SM smoke. DD knows how bad it is. It does kill. In fact, the reality of my mom having COPD hit me like a truck when we got the letter from my brother's lung reciepent. The man had COPD as well. It made me think that someday if my mom gets to the point of needed a transplant, I hope she is lucky enough to recieve that gift as well. DD read the letter as well.

    I could care less if BD thinks my DD shouldn't know the reality of his choices. I will educate her to make the best choices for herself. Anytime she mentions his decision to smoke, I refer her to him for explanations of why.

    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

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  • SimpleJaneSimpleJane member
    XH smokes. The kids have been told since they were old enough to ask questions that it is a very bad habit and it causes all kinds of breathing problem, cancer, and can kill you eventually. Hey, its the truth. XH always just tells them he's trying to quit because he knows its bad for him when DS brings it up. He's never liked how I handled it but I'm not going to lie to the kids about how insanely dangerous it is.
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  • ambrvanambrvan member
    DH smoked up until this past February. He never smoked in the house or vehicle and always washed his hands after, but it was still a dangerous and disgusting habit. He started smoking when he was 11. At only 28yo he had horrible breathing problems. He couldn't even function in the morning without having a cigarette first. He was sick of it. And he literally felt sick. This past February DH quit cold turkey and hasn't picked up a single one since. I couldn't be happier. I have never touched it myself.

    Even when DH smoked, we never shied away from telling her about the effects of smoking. And she has an uncle that suffering from COPD and emphysema and diabetes who refuses to even slow down smoking. People she loves serve as an example to her.

    Schools will educate children about the health concerns of smoking whether or not their parents are smokers. So why not us?
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