Disinterested grandparents

Mrs.G123 · August 2013

I've posted about this before but the birthday budget post in which someone said they would be celebrating all the support they had received in LO's first year got me thinking. What do you consider the parameters of being an "interested" grandparent to be?

Mrs.G123 · August 2013

Fucking a, quotes are back on mobile!!!

Cbeanz · August 2013

Interested grandparent? Making an effort to see their grandbaby. In person, if travel is possible, or via skype if travel is impossible. Sending cards, calling and asking about them.

Mrs.G123 · August 2013

LauraT25 said:
Agreed with @Cbeanz

But I don't consider "interest" to be the same as "support". Not that you were necessarily saying that, but since you mentioned them together...we have had way more people show interest than give support.

But you have to be interested in the first place to show support, right? I guess I was asking about being unsupportive.

wesleycrusher · August 2013

Cbeanz said:

Interested grandparent? Making an effort to see their grandbaby. In person, if travel is possible, or via skype if travel is impossible. Sending cards, calling and asking about them.

I like this explanation because I don't think support has to involve taking care of the baby. My mom is supportive but because of her health problems, she can't watch DD or even hold her for that long. But she does all the things listed above.

navyandviolet · August 2013

The grandparents aren't under any obligation to be grandparents.. My dad and FIl are enjoying their retirements. They love their grandkids but don't spoil them stuff or attention. But they are both very into getting pictures and telling their friends about the adventures of their grands. They worry about them and are proud of them just the same as others GP. It really isn't being a show grandparent just not as hands on. My kids love them just the same as my mom. Who is the most traditional GP but her health is in question right now.

lady dixneuf · August 2013

@navyandviolet I am sorry to hear your mom is not doing well.

My parents are very interested but at the end of the day they don't see LO much bc of distance. We FaceTime every single day but they have not seen him in person since January. They're pretty supportive though, especially when we're with them. They were amazing when I spent a month with them in Jan. and thank GOD they were here when we came home from the hospital and Sandy hit.

My in laws are more hands on. They seem less 'interested" in the day to day but visit a lot more, obvi (they're like 2 hours away)

GraysMama104 · August 2013

LauraT25 said:

I think you can be supportive without physically being there. With my mom it is obvious - she visits, takes a few pictures and hen ignores K for the rest of the time (even if she is doing something ridiculously cute). My husband's grandparents haven't visited but when they ask about K they clearly care and genuinely want to know how all of us are doing - I consider that supportive.

Agreed. My Mom lives in Florida (we are in PA) and she is absolutely supportive. She's been up to visit 3 or 4 times since the baby was born, which is contrary to the 1 visit a year prior to, and we've gone down there once. She was supposed to fly up when he was about 3 weeks old, but the second I went into labor she lost her shit and had to be here so she jumped right on a plane (didn't make delivery, but made it a few hours later). We facetime regularly and she's there for anything and everything we need. I think being a grandmother has improved the relationship between her and I as well too. Bonus. Support goes beyond being there physically, that's for sure.

tiffmatt · August 2013

I posted on the birthday party budgets about it being a thank you to those ago have supported us.
DS godparents live three hours away, but both families have come out to visit a couple times, they both go out of their way for us when we visit them. My Dad isn't very involved but my step-mom always takes great care of us when we come over. Both she and my mom comment on DS picture on FB nearly daily.
My mom lives 8 hours away and it breaks her heart she can't see him more. Hence me putting pics on FB daily.
My in-laws have us over for dinner weekly and my MIL has stopped by to drop of fresh fruit for DS and I, and often asks if we want/need anything before she goes to Whole Foods.
Family friends my husb refers to as his Aunt and Uncle even though there's no relation are very supported. When our water heater broke and basement flooded they dropped what they were doing to come help.
My BIL is serving in Afghanistan (nuf said). His parents (my sisters husb's parents) look at DS as a surrogate grandchild as my sisters kids are older.
We're blessed to have a lot of great people in our lives and want to celebrate with them and say thank you.

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