I hate my inlaws

Emeraldeyed315 · August 2013

They are in from OOT. They are hogging my baby. When my girlfriends come and visit they do not give us privacy...they follow us room to room adding asking to hold the baby again. I'm about to flip my lid. I know most of it is hormonal...but they are driving my insane. I feel totally smothered.

I wish I was better at speaking up, and my DH is at work.

Sorry for the rant...

WashingtonQueen · August 2013

Tell them to get the fuck out and go to a hotel. I fully intend to do that when my inlaws come down. Good luck!

mochalattemama · August 2013

Girl, you need to speak your mind before you blow.

MommyKristin88 · August 2013

Yikes! I am soooo glad nobody is staying with us after the baby is born. It would ruin my relationship with that person, because I do not hold back. Tell your husband the issue when he gets home so he can talk to them.

ELauren88 · August 2013

Or just tell them "no". Like this:

"Can I have the baby back?" "No."

Fin.

JBear02 · August 2013

I know it sucks, but you need to speak up, or else you're going to be miserable!! Nobody wants that! Tell them you need some time!

BlondieBia21 · August 2013

As someone who KNOWS she will be in a similar situation as you, all I can say is to speak up now. The child is YOURS, so you have every right to say how you feel. Talk to H when he gets home and let him know the issues. I usually say H handles his family, and you handle your own. But, if he's not around- you need to ask them politely that you need some space. Say that you are just wanting some time for just you and the baby.

Katie6202 · August 2013

I agree with the other ladies. Speak up now before you loose your shit completely

henderson1026 · August 2013

BlondieBia21 said:

As someone who KNOWS she will be in a similar situation as you, all I can say is to speak up now. The child is YOURS, so you have every right to say how you feel. Talk to H when he gets home and let him know the issues. I usually say H handles his family, and you handle your own. But, if he's not around- you need to ask them politely that you need some space. Say that you are just wanting some time for just you and the baby.

Speak Up!! I agree with above about each handling your own - at times. Other times, it is more productive to address them yourself - it conveys the message that DH is no longer part of their nuclear family, he now has his own.

Also, to everyone here, esp those with boys - please remember all these posts - do you really want to be the MIL from hell in 30 years?

kellieann5 · August 2013

Baby hogs suck. Speak up now. Just say no.

AprilRaine · August 2013

Post partum hormones are the greatest excuse to pull the bitchy card. Tell them to go make you some freakin dinner, do your laundry and then you'll consider letting them hold baby again.

Seriously. I don't know why people feel the need to impose on new parents like that. I'm sure they're excited and all, but does anyone ever forget how difficult it is to have a newborn?!

rooftop · August 2013

Maybe suggest in an obvious "I need some space" way something that they go do in town. Point them towards any special attractions or even just a "Why don't you go check out the mall?"

RK125 · August 2013

Speak up. There's no need for you to be miserable.

JHarris8166 · August 2013

You have to speak up!! You can't be uncomfortable in your own home. You'll blow up.

CelticWife · August 2013

MIL did that when I had my first. She only stayed for five days, though, and she lives on the other side if the country, so I just dealt with it.

My mom, on the other hand, did better if I gave her things to do. I would ask her if she would watch the baby at 2pm so I could take a shower/nap/eat. She would stop asking me so often because she knew when her "time" was. And she felt like she was helping while indulging her baby hogging.

If you really want them out for a while, give them a gift certificate for a local restaurant for grandparents day. (Not a chain restaurant, so they can't use it at home.)

kill1981 · August 2013

WashingtonQueen said:
Tell them to get the fuck out and go to a hotel. I fully intend to do that when my inlaws come down. Good luck!

This will also be my plan of action. I even thought about saying it even before they come down since I know for sure they will be expecting to stay here.... Ummmmm NO

amandarins · August 2013

You have to speak up, for you and baby. Your baby can feel your anxiety and its not good. It's also not rude to ask for your space. If they get offended, so what? You need to do what's best for your family, everyone else comes after. Good luck mama

henderson1026 · August 2013

amandarins said:

You have to speak up, for you and baby. Your baby can feel your anxiety and its not good. It's also not rude to ask for your space. If they get offended, so what? You need to do what's best for your family, everyone else comes after. Good luck mama

Hey! how are you and Austin doing?

Emeraldeyed315 · August 2013

I know I need to speak up. We have a crappy relationship anyway though, so it's always tense. They have made it clear they don't like me and wish Dh didn't marry me. Thank God for breast feeding...good reason to head to my room for an hour at a time with G.

amandarins · August 2013

henderson1026 said:

amandarins said:

You have to speak up, for you and baby. Your baby can feel your anxiety and its not good. It's also not rude to ask for your space. If they get offended, so what? You need to do what's best for your family, everyone else comes after. Good luck mama

Hey! how are you and Austin doing?

Hi:) We are great! Well...I got a blood clot and have to do shots in my stomach twice a day but besides that everything is good! I'm going to post his birth story today or tomorrow!

coraggiosa · August 2013

Emeraldeyed315 said:

I know I need to speak up. We have a crappy relationship anyway though, so it's always tense. They have made it clear they don't like me and wish Dh didn't marry me. Thank God for breast feeding...good reason to head to my room for an hour at a time with G.

Wow, if my husband's parents ever even hinted at something like that, they could forgot about staying at my house, much less hog my newborn child.

Honestly, if the relationship is crappy anyway, what do you have to lose? Also, doesn't your husband stick up for you?

caramia582 · August 2013

henderson1026 said:

BlondieBia21 said:

As someone who KNOWS she will be in a similar situation as you, all I can say is to speak up now. The child is YOURS, so you have every right to say how you feel. Talk to H when he gets home and let him know the issues. I usually say H handles his family, and you handle your own. But, if he's not around- you need to ask them politely that you need some space. Say that you are just wanting some time for just you and the baby.

Speak Up!! I agree with above about each handling your own - at times. Other times, it is more productive to address them yourself - it conveys the message that DH is no longer part of their nuclear family, he now has his own.

Also, to everyone here, esp those with boys - please remember all these posts - do you really want to be the MIL from hell in 30 years?

As a mom of two boys, I make a point to read all the IL posts... I want to know everything I shouldn't be doing!! (although I have to say so much of it seems like just common sense)

Emeraldeyed315 · August 2013

coraggiosa said:

Emeraldeyed315 said:

I know I need to speak up. We have a crappy relationship anyway though, so it's always tense. They have made it clear they don't like me and wish Dh didn't marry me. Thank God for breast feeding...good reason to head to my room for an hour at a time with G.

Wow, if my husband's parents ever even hinted at something like that, they could forgot about staying at my house, much less hog my newborn child.

Honestly, if the relationship is crappy anyway, what do you have to lose? Also, doesn't your husband stick up for you?

He does nip it in the bud when he is here.

coraggiosa · August 2013

Emeraldeyed315 said:

Emeraldeyed315 said:

I know I need to speak up. We have a crappy relationship anyway though, so it's always tense. They have made it clear they don't like me and wish Dh didn't marry me. Thank God for breast feeding...good reason to head to my room for an hour at a time with G.

Wow, if my husband's parents ever even hinted at something like that, they could forgot about staying at my house, much less hog my newborn child.

Honestly, if the relationship is crappy anyway, what do you have to lose? Also, doesn't your husband stick up for you?
He does nip it in the bud when he is here.

That's good. I'd definitely talk to him and have him intervene. Do you think they'll cut out their behavior when he isn't there though?

beckyanddon · August 2013

Oh I would go crazy. Yikes

Ladydianna · August 2013

Emeraldeyed315 said:

I know I need to speak up. We have a crappy relationship anyway though, so it's always tense. They have made it clear they don't like me and wish Dh didn't marry me. Thank God for breast feeding...good reason to head to my room for an hour at a time with G.

Oh Hell NO! MIL gave me a hard time for a minute after dd1 was born and DH promptly showed her the door. They should NOT be staying with you! it is completely unfair to you and your new family, especially if they've made it clear they don't like you being part of theirs.

MitsB707 · August 2013

Sorry your in-laws suck. I'd be pissed with the baby hogging, too, especially if you have other company visiting you for the day, and they're staying with you anyway.

At least yours didn't pull the same crap mine did today. Dh's grandfather came to meet our lo today, but failed to mention he had a runny nose and wasn't feeling great before entering the room. Dh and I were pissed he'd put our baby at risk.

Eta: posted too quickly

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