Community› The Bump Month Clubs› May 2013 Moms
May 2013 Moms
New Discussion

WWYD

annagryaannagrya member
in May 2013 Moms
I'm going to visit my mom at the end of the month with LO for 2 weeks in another state where most of my family and friends live.  I'm getting nervous because I don't know how to deal with some of her comments and attitudes.  She is  basically constantly communicating that I am not good enough.  I'm not thin enough, I'm not wealthy enough, I don't have enough things, my house isn't clean enough, I'm lazy, etc.  On the one hand, I love her and she can be really nice and generous but on the other hand her small comments are like poison.  I notice her doing the same thing sometimes to my husband (he isn't visiting with us this time) and now she's starting to do it to LO.  If I confront her, she says either I'm too sensitive or asks "do you want me to lie?"  I know she's wrong and I want this visit to go smoothly.  I also don't want LO to have to hear it.  Any ideas on how to deal with this and remain civil for the duration of the trip?  
Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers</a
Report Reply to Post

Re: WWYD

  • kelly422kelly422 member
    Is not going an option? Or shortening the trip?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • annagryaannagrya member
    I don't have to go but my whole extended family and friends live out there so I want to.  Plus, she can be really cool.  You just never know which mom you are going to get.  She invited us to come for 3 weeks but I shortened it to 2 because I didn't think I could handle 3 lol.  
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers</a
    Report Reply
  • TradeMamaTradeMama member
    Can you go and stay in a hotel? Or with someone else? Then when she irritates you, you can leave.
    Report Reply
  • HimandMeplus3HimandMeplus3 member
    Can you stay with another friend or family member? Even if you do, it still sounds like she would chime in with her opinions. I may tell her something along the lines of "While you may think you're just being honest, you're actually being very rude and disrespectful, and I'm not going to tolerate it anymore. If you'd like this visit to continue, please refrain from putting me down all of the time." I would also mention that these type of comments about your LO will not be tolerated at all. I'm sorry she treats you this way!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker








    Report Reply
  • annagryaannagrya member
    Maybe I will have a backup plan just in case things go south.
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers</a
    Report Reply
  • LolalipsyLolalipsy member
    TradeMama said:

    Can you go and stay in a hotel? Or with someone else? Then when she irritates you, you can leave.

    I would do this. I much prefer staying at a hotel so I can retreat and reset myself to happy when someone has irritated me.




    Pregnancy Ticker
    Report Reply
  • snowgirl427snowgirl427 member
    When she asks if you want get to lie just tell her no, but that you don't want her opinion.

    I know it sounds harsh but its a fair reSponse

     Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    TTC #2:
    March - May 2014 - Natural cycles - no luck
    June 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
    July 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
    August 2014 - Clomid 50mg - BFN
    September 2014 - Clomid 50mg - Fingers crossed...

    Report Reply
  • babyo52babyo52 member
    Stand your ground. Tell her you do not want to hear her opinion on everything. Also if she says something hurtful tell her right away. Maybe she will eventually get the point that her comments are not helpful but hurtful
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • LaxMOM44LaxMOM44 member
    Ya I would definitely say something especially if she is saying things at or about your LO, after all you are the mom now and you want better for your LO. I would say something to the effect of " although I have grown used to your negative comments I don't want my child to have to hear her grandmother putting down her family. Please keep your comments to yourself whenever LO is around" and then make sure LO is always around. GL
    SIGNATURE FAIL!!!!!!!

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt189369.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0"  /></a>

    image





    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"