Having a baby in the AF?

MarlyAnderson · July 2013

Thinking about having a baby while on AD. If you have been through this, how difficult was it? And how wre you treated?

HisChamaoleGirl · July 2013

Can you be more specific with your question? I am pregnant with my first and DH and I are both active duty. And the way I am treated as a pregnant active duty member is my unit follows my profile limitations and understands my restrictions.

Avion22 · July 2013

I'm AD AF and five weeks pregnant today.

Basically once you get a positive pregnancy test you are put on profile (no deploying, no PT test), and depending on your job your duties might change to accommodate. I'm aircrew, so I was immediately grounded (not always the case, it depends on your platform). You'll be referred to an off-base OB clinic if you don't have one on-base, and your care will be determined by that specific clinic.

Once you give birth, the maternity leave is not great -- only 6 weeks. You may be able to use some of your own (normal) leave to supplement that. If you plan on using on-base childcare you should check with the CDC about getting put on the waiting list. I'm pretty sure the price structure depends on your rank, but from what I've seen it's pretty reasonable.

MarlyAnderson · July 2013

Well, I guess I'm just asking about how I will be treated. I've heard a few different things. I've heard that pregnant women in the military are treated very poorly and called lots of names whether they are married or not, which I am. And I've also heard that some people get lots of support. I've also heard the maternity ABUs are hideous. Lol I've never seen them though.

HisChamaoleGirl · July 2013

MarlyAnderson said:
Well, I guess I'm just asking about how I will be treated. I've heard a few different things. I've heard that pregnant women in the military are treated very poorly and called lots of names whether they are married or not, which I am. And I've also heard that some people get lots of support. I've also heard the maternity ABUs are hideous. Lol I've never seen them though.

If someone is being treated differently bc of a physical profile or disability (which some consider pregnancy to fall under) then you have a valid EO complaint. I am treated differently in the sense that I don't work with our vehicles in the motor pool anymore bc of the fumes, stopped doing weapons training, no more field time after 20w, and my coworkers lift heavy items for me. Take any prenatal classes you can before baby comes bc you will meet other moms to be and you can gain support from them and instructors. Oh and yes the uniforms are hideous but more comfortable than trying to stuff into the regular uniforms lol

Avion22 · July 2013

The people I work with are excited for me, and are nervous alongside me (I had a miscarriage in December that most of them know about, so we are all keeping fingers crossed this time). My boss is also really excited and very willing to accommodate me with a flexible schedule, new duties, etc. I completely agree that if anyone at work treats you poorly because of pregnancy, you have a valid EO complaint.

As for maternity ABUs? Yeah, absolutely hideous, as are all the maternity uniforms. The ABUs look like a giant grey tiger-striped camping tent. Seriously. Blues aren't any better. My plan is to stay in flight suits as long as I can, then normal ABUs a size up, then normal ABUs with bella band or maybe maternity pants with a regular ABU top, then full-on maternity ABUs, if I can hold out that long.

HisChamaoleGirl · July 2013

Avion22 said:

The people I work with are excited for me, and are nervous alongside me (I had a miscarriage in December that most of them know about, so we are all keeping fingers crossed this time). My boss is also really excited and very willing to accommodate me with a flexible schedule, new duties, etc. I completely agree that if anyone at work treats you poorly because of pregnancy, you have a valid EO complaint.

As for maternity ABUs? Yeah, absolutely hideous, as are all the maternity uniforms. The ABUs look like a giant grey tiger-striped camping tent. Seriously. Blues aren't any better. My plan is to stay in flight suits as long as I can, then normal ABUs a size up, then normal ABUs with bella band or maybe maternity pants with a regular ABU top, then full-on maternity ABUs, if I can hold out that long.

What do the regs say about mixing and matching normal uniforms and maternity uniforms? I am not being snarky, I am genuinely curious.

Avion22 · July 2013

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL* said:

What do the regs say about mixing and matching normal uniforms and maternity uniforms? I am not being snarky, I am genuinely curious.

After I posted that I realized I wasn't entirely sure, so I'll go check and let you know what I find. Realistically, as long as the pregnancy panel isn't visible, then I think you could get away with it (same with a Bella band). Off to check and will post back!

Avion22 · July 2013

Okay, the reg doesn't say anything about wearing the maternity ABU pants with the maternity top. It only says:

- The expansion panel must be covered by the ABU top (not sure if a regular ABU top is long enough, but it might be?)

- You don't have to tuck your t-shirt or turtleneck into your trousers if you're wearing maternity trousers

- You don't have to wear the rigger belt with maternity trousers (duh)

- You don't have to blouse the legs of your trousers in advanced stages of pregnancy

HisChamaoleGirl · July 2013

Thanks for the update! I really was curious bc in the Army our maternity pants don't have the same type of pockets that the normal uniforms do so it would be obvious if we mixed and matched

k8augs · August 2013

I checked into the mixing and matching...no specific reg, but our first shirt said not a good idea. It really is quite obvious, the difference between the regular pants and the prego ones. I am 15 weeks and have had no issues with anyone on the pregnancy. I actually just had my deployment tasking cancelled when I got pregnant, but at 34 and this is my first, after I have deployed 3 times and done a Korea tour, no one has made a comment about me not pulling my weight. We can't put our lives on hold completely. If u want kids, u should try, but also keep in mind the timing. Good luck everyone!

Carnation77 · August 2013

I'm actually surprised by the "controversy" over mixing and matching pieces of the maternity uniform with the regular uniform. Everyone I know who's had a baby does this. I didn't put on the maternity top till around 25 weeks, but started with the maternity pants around 14 weeks. One of my coworkers (who I had told about the pregnancy) till the end actually asked, "when are you going to start wearing maternity clothes?" I pulled up my top and showed him the panel of the maternity pants. He had no clue and was surprised to learn I'd been wearing them all along. I regularly go to meetings with the top ranking officers on post and again - no one had a clue I was pregnant till I switched to the maternity top. Unless someone says something I really wouldn't overthink it. As long as you're still wearing boots and they can't see the maternity panel you should be good.

I can see switching to the maternity top if it actually fits, but I'm 5'4, bigger up top, but pretty thin. I wore a small regular ACU top till 25 weeks with no problems. When I switched to the maternity uniform I had to get a bigger size so it would fit in the chest, and then actually had to sew the sides shut to try to prevent to much extra fabric blowing around when I walked. The maternity top just doesn't fit me right and looks ridiculous. Too tight up top, too big in the stomach. Some people look OK in it though. I'm almost 39 weeks now and can finally wear the top with no alterations.

laurakaz13 · August 2013

I've been Active Duty for 8 years and will continue until at least 20. I love my career and wouldn't want to do anything else. DH is also Active Duty.

We have a 2 year old and it's been great. She goes to the CDC on base, my command is super family friendly, and I got right back into shape within months of having her. It hasn't always been easy.

DH is currently deployed for 8+ months, but I also have friends and sitters who help out and my parents come down if I ever need to go TAD. I've been treated just fine. Lots of AD females get pregnant and have total support of their commands. Happens every day.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

k8augs said:

I checked into the mixing and matching...no specific reg, but our first shirt said not a good idea. It really is quite obvious, the difference between the regular pants and the prego ones. I am 15 weeks and have had no issues with anyone on the pregnancy. I actually just had my deployment tasking cancelled when I got pregnant, but at 34 and this is my first, after I have deployed 3 times and done a Korea tour, no one has made a comment about me not pulling my weight. We can't put our lives on hold completely. If u want kids, u should try, but also keep in mind the timing. Good luck everyone!

Despite the age difference, your story is the same as mine. I know of a few females that come up pregnant every time there is a deployment schedule, but who am I to judge when they decide to start a family? If I would have decided to wait until DH and I retired, he'd be 43 and I would be 39.

Avion22 · August 2013

Thanks for the info on mixing and matching. I'm currently in an exchange job with a foreign AF,and I'm the only American. Nobody really knows or cares about US uniform regs, so I don't think anyone would notice or care unless it looked really funky. Obviously I wouldn't want to obviously break any regs on purpose, but you have to do what you have to do. Come to think of it, I'll have to order maternity ABUs from AAFES I guess....might need to lead turn that a little bit to allow extra time for stuff to arrive. As for deployments, I actually just got back from my fourth, and hopefully won't have any more lined up. Not being able to do my primary job kinda sucks, but my squadron is going to be creative with keeping me busy, and there's always correspondence courses that I can do to stay busy. I'm with @k8augs and *His....I'm 32, and have been putting this off for too long because it wasnt a "good time." Screw that,it's time to do what's right for MY family and the AF can just deal with it.

J&NL · August 2013

I personally didn't do it but I know a lot of women that were AD and had multiple kids. A lot of times they were on day shift so their kids either went to daycare or school during the day while they were at work. The only thing that sucks to me is you have 6 weeks of leave after you have the baby but I guess that's still better than the civilian world.

HisChamaoleGirl · August 2013

Avion22 said:

I'm with @k8augs and *His....I'm 32, and have been putting this off for too long because it wasnt a "good time." Screw that,it's time to do what's right for MY family and the AF can just deal with it.

haha! I feel the same way. It took awhile for me to come to the same conclusion with the Army, but I have to remind myself that while I am a soldier, I do have my own life to think of.

k8augs · August 2013

I spoke with another pregnant (on her third) AD AF, and she mixes the prego pants and regular top. I'm just going to do it, too...there is no specific reg against it, and our dress and appearance standards are strict enough as is...if they didn't put this restriction explicitly in there, why restrict ourselves with what others (and ourselves) might think they 'intended'?! Here come the prego pants...next week!

Having a baby in the AF?

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