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Blended Families
Pamelacake
member
BM's C/O'd phone call time, abusing it to talk to DH instead of SD's.
Pamelacake
member
BM called Sunday as her days to call SD's are Sundays and Wednesdays anytime from 6 to 9pm.
6yo SD answered the phone and BM was immediately cussing and yelling, thinking DH was on the phone. When BM realized it was SD she didn't apologize but tried talking to SD asking her the same questions she does every time. 6yo SD was not interested in talking at all b/c of the way she answered the phone. 5yoSD got on the phone and they talked for about 5 minutes then BM asked to speak to DH.
BM told DH that he ruined her visit. HA. That's a totally different post. BM told DH that he was in contempt of the C/O because it isn't specified in there that the visits are only for BM.. not for the car load of people that BM tried to bring with her, Accused DH of coaching the girls on what to say and what not to say on the phone. all kinds of things. just crazy stuff. oh and She said that she is now documenting every time DH calls her a name... hahaha.. go for it. You call here numerous times a day just to call people names and it has all been documented! (I told DH to stop the name calling months ago and he listened to me). I also have the documentation from when DH was lashing back at BM and calling her names, mostly hot dog which really gets to her and I will not tell why. and I like I said before... I don't leave anything out of my documentation. So she can make up anything she wants. We have proof.
BM also told DH that it was illegal to record her visit and she knew it was just being done to make her look bad.. honey.. it doesn't make you look bad if you don't do anything stupid. It is actually for both of our convenience so nothing can be said by anyone that didn't happen. And it's not illegal. It doesn't have to be in the C/O.
Anyways.. BM seems to think now that the C/O'd phone call time is her time to call to cuss DH out and make accusations. BM called at least 7 more times Sunday evening and DH has to answer the phone within those specified times. Needless to say, SD's won't be answering anymore. She would just yell and cuss and hang up. We just documented. DH didn't respond to anything, not like he had a chance to when they were on the phone anyways but it was really crazy. And while BM's "documenting all of the name calling from DH" She said some pretty nasty things every time she called, mostly ending the calls with "b!tch" but one was ended with "you better watch your back, m0ther fu(ker". BM also said she was getting an attorney to get custody of 5yo SD. (something she said she had and has been saying for 8 months now). This is all just so stupid to me. You can get an attorney all you want but you actually have to do the work.. I don't think BM understands this.
And a threatening text from FI to DH from last week was brought up. We did not send this to the attorney but in BM's mind, DH sent it to himself. DH tried to explain to BM that he cannot sent a text to himself from FI's phone. BM then said I did something with my smartphone to make it look like it came from FI's phone. We don't need that text anyways. We have plenty of other evidence, threatening voicemails, phone calls. why on earth would we need to make up a text!
If BM wants to abuse the time she has to talk to SD's on the phone, that can be shortened too The longest time she has talked to SD's on the phone put together is 7 minutes and that's including the pause time to go and get other SD. I am submitting the phone calls and voicemails to DH from BM and FI to the attorney today. We weren't going to do this bc FI is supposedly BM's only ride here and didn't want to make it harder for BM but we are both so sick of the craziness and it just really needs to stop. BM is obviously not on board to co-parent and I don't think it will ever happen.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
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Re: BM's C/O'd phone call time, abusing it to talk to DH instead of SD's.
@llumine It's supposed to be either here or at our local park and we live in a very small town, but If nothing has been changed by then we will do it at the park
@new+tothis I didn't ask the attorney about this but DH and I were both here and I went through a situation years ago where I had to have a supervised visit, not through the court but because a family member wanted to throw her weight around, I recorded the whole thing because I knew they would try to say things that didn't happen and what not. The was in front of the same judge that DH is going through. I will look into that more but I'm almost positive it's legal. The only thing that isn't legal that I know of is recording a child's conversation over the phone with any parent. I still do this too bc BM is constantly talking to DH instead of SD's. I know anything is possible and I had hoped this same thing for a while but I honestly don't think she will ever get her act together. Way too much has happened.
@4luvof2boys the custody thing of one but not the other has bothered me for months but not surprising. BM has treated them differently their whole lives. BM lives a 1/2 an hour away from us and she acted like that was too far for her to come and get SD's when she had EOWE. BM saw SD's about once every 3 months. BM can't drive but had rides here to pick up, BM chose to spend her weekends at the bar instead. We really don't want to move out of this school district but are looking for a different house. BM is determined to see SD's now bc BM hates me with a passion so I think she will
@kaholland4 When the divorce was pending, BM had supervised visits with MIL being the supervisor. The visits that BM did utilize at that time were not really supervised. MIL would drop BM and SD's off at people's houses and wait for a call to pick them up. I am still looking for an agency in our area but DH doesn't want to have to pay for it. They are like $200. an hour.
@wendilea My thoughts exactly!
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
I think I will have DH ask for that. He is assuming he doesn't have to answer after BM has talked to the girls but I didn't take it that way when we were in court and the C/O is very vague. It just says anytime between 6pm to 9pm on sun. and wed.
I am hoping the judge will change it to an agency. When DH brought up 6yo SD's main counselor in court but said he wouldn't be able to pay for it the judge basically shrugged it off and said ok so you can do it and name one other person.
My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
This. Unless your CO says BM gets unlimited calls, she should get one and if she hangs up or is cursing, acting inappropriately, tell her you will hang up and document. Then let her calls go to voicemail.
Also, there is no reason for your DH to talk with BM. The calls are for her to talk with her CHILDREN. Your DH is under no obligation to speak with her, unless it is to say "because you are using profanity with the girls, the phone call is ending now."