BM thinks her visit was ruined..wait until next time! P!ssed!!!

Pamelacake · August 2013

BM accused DH of ruining her supervised visit in a recent VM. I was the one to supervise the visit and DH was there but he was also doing things in the backyard. We were in the front. I stayed on the porch while BM and SD's were playing games at the picnic table. I now know why it was so hard for BM to even pretend to acknowledge 6yo SD.

I have listened to some of the recording and at this time BM was telling SD's to call me by my name. SD's still didn't do it. So BM then tells SD's that they have one good mom and one bad mom and that she was the good mom. 5yo SD complied and 6yo SD was hesitant but after BM giving 6yo a look she said it as well. I know BM told SD's this months ago while on a visit at her house b/c 6yo SD told me about it.

I wasn't sitting right beside them as I should have been, I didn't feel that would be right and didn't want to make them feel uncomfortable. I personally would have felt uncomfortable with it myself. I will be next time! If she thinks she is going to ruin or stop any of 6yo SD's progress with her self esteem, She is dead wrong. I will not stand for it and I will not sit aside again to let it happen.

I have spent every single day with these girls for the last year and BM has seen them 6 times including the supervised visit. BM has no right to manipulate these girls. and I am super p!ssed. This chick is effing crazy. Why would anyone want to do that to their kids! She also told 5yo SD that she will be coming to live with her soon while 6yo was sitting right there! I'm waiting for a phone call back from the attorney about the phone calls and vm's to DH and while I have him on the phone will be asking many more questions.

And I was sitting here wondering why 5yo SD has been so whiney since then... 6yo SD has been extra clingy.. I was expecting something from 6yo just not sure what.

Pamelacake · August 2013

Ugh.. and the rules weren't even enforced! I won't be making that mistake again!!! Sorry.. Super Rant!

4luvof2boys · August 2013

Just to clarify, you think BM is ignoring SD6 because she did not comply with BM's directive to stop calling you mom? I hope your attorney has some good advice or there is some kind of consequences to BM. That woman is psycho.

Pamelacake · August 2013

No, neither one of the girls stopped calling me mom.

BM had always treated 6yo SD like crap.

6yo SD is a smart girl but she keeps it to herself, she is more of an observant child. 5yo is more outgoing. BM was ignoring 6yo way before this was said. Both SD's want BM's approval and love so much and I really hoped that this would help them. BM isn't looking at the big picture.. She thinks she can say these things to them and they will feel comfortable with all of us being involved. I honestly think BM thinks there is a chance that she and DH will get back together.

I told the girls months ago when BM told them to say those things that they didn't have to call me mom, no one ever told them they had to or even suggested it. I also told SD's that when they first started calling me mom bc I felt it was a bit soon.

It just really upsets me that BM would say these things and it's not just about telling them not to call me mom, many other things were said to them that were clearly lies. There is nothing we can do about that, except for deal with the aftermath from the disappointment like we have for the last year.

CFjo2010 · August 2013

God, your situation is just awful. Those poor girls.

I really hope you take that recording to get authenticated and then submit it to the Court as proof of emotional and mental abuse as well as parental alienation. BM is doing so much damage to those girls.

Cheerilee · August 2013

I really wish you could get someone else to supervise - like a counselor or social worker! It's crazy the judge thought you guys would be fine doing it. IMO, she should have to pay someone to supervise. If she can't afford it, tough cookies.

SueBear · August 2013

Please, please, please don't keep your mouth shut when BM is treating SD6 like this. Even documenting is not enough - - supervised or no, you MUST stand up for SD6. She needs to know that you are on her side even in front of BM. Silence from you may make her think you agree : (

What is the worst that can happen, you aren't allowed to supervise visits anymore and a counselor is put in that role? Gasp!

Pamelacake · August 2013

DH told the judge he would like for 6yo SD's main counselor to do it in her office but wouldn't be able to afford to pay for it and the judge was just like so you can do it and name one other person.

I know there are agencies in our state and BM would have to pay for it. The cost is 200+ an hour. Plus the cost of their travel, food, lodging.. everything. I was looking into this when we got home from court.

I honestly think the judge just wanted us to do it bc he didn't think BM would follow through. I knew she would bc now she is determined to "not look like a bad mom". It's always about how she looks to other people. She doesn't give a damn about these kids.

Pamelacake · August 2013

@SueBear I didn't know these things were being said at the time. Not until I was going through the video and audio. I wasn't sitting right next to them like I should have been. I was trying to give them space. If I have to supervise the next visit, I will be right beside them.

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BM thinks her visit was ruined..wait until next time! P!ssed!!!

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