C-sections
rosiecottonk
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Unplanned csection and sadness
rosiecottonk
member
in C-sections
Hi,
I wanted to introduce myself and see if anyone had a similar experience they could share.
My plan was to have a water birth with my midwife. I didn't want an epidural, but was open to the idea if things got bad.
My water broke at 38 weeks and 5 days. My midwife told me that pretty much forced my hand. I could wait up to 24 hours for my body to go into labor, but after 24 hours my risk of infection would go up, so she would want to induce. We ended up waiting 12 hours, no labor whatsoever; no contractions, dilation, etc.
At 8pm we started very light protocol. At 8:30 my contractions were strong enough that the midwife turned off the pitocin. My body successfully took over and continued to contract.
I labored for 3 hours naturally, up to 7cm. But my body was doing these crazy multi-peaked contractions, I was essentially having 3 minute long contractions with 20-60 seconds rest in between. I tried every management technique: sterile water, labor unh in the tub, moved on to IV pain killers, but they did nothing. When I was climbing the side of the bed, screaming in pain, my husband suggested I get the epidural. I got the epidural at 5am and by 7am I had dilated the last 3cm and baby had slid down into the birth canal.
I was ready to start pushing and they excitedly told me what a strong pusher I was, and that just watching, they could see my baby's head move down each time. I would definitely have a baby by lunch.
5 hours of pushing later and baby hadn't moved any further. My midwife brought in the dr on call and she informed me that my choices were to try the vacuum or go right to csection. We did 5 tries with the vacuum and she still wasn't moving. The dr couldn't figure out why she couldn't come further out. Never through any of the 24 hours of labor did baby have ANY decelerations. They weren't worried about her, other than the fact that my water had been broken for 36 hours.
My husband met me in the OR. I felt some extra pain besides the expected tugging, so I got 2 extra shots of some drug. The result was I was essentially high for the birth of my daughter. They showed her to me, I was told I cried twice and then went back to babbling about other things. My husband held her for a second and was able to hand her off right before he passed out from exhaustion. I still got to hold her as they wheeled me back to my room, but I was not all there.
After they showed me the huge bruise on her arm, it was clear that her arm had been stuck behind my pubic bone and she COULD NOT have come out naturally.
I know that I tried everything I could have done, but I'm still having a lot of trouble with my birth experience. Mostly the fact that I was drugged and missed that initial bonding with her, even though I had her by my side the entire 3 days we spent in the hospital afterwards.
I am going in to meet with my midwife about what I'm feeling, but I'm wondering if anyone else had similar experiences and how you dealt with them?
TIA,
Rosie
I wanted to introduce myself and see if anyone had a similar experience they could share.
My plan was to have a water birth with my midwife. I didn't want an epidural, but was open to the idea if things got bad.
My water broke at 38 weeks and 5 days. My midwife told me that pretty much forced my hand. I could wait up to 24 hours for my body to go into labor, but after 24 hours my risk of infection would go up, so she would want to induce. We ended up waiting 12 hours, no labor whatsoever; no contractions, dilation, etc.
At 8pm we started very light protocol. At 8:30 my contractions were strong enough that the midwife turned off the pitocin. My body successfully took over and continued to contract.
I labored for 3 hours naturally, up to 7cm. But my body was doing these crazy multi-peaked contractions, I was essentially having 3 minute long contractions with 20-60 seconds rest in between. I tried every management technique: sterile water, labor unh in the tub, moved on to IV pain killers, but they did nothing. When I was climbing the side of the bed, screaming in pain, my husband suggested I get the epidural. I got the epidural at 5am and by 7am I had dilated the last 3cm and baby had slid down into the birth canal.
I was ready to start pushing and they excitedly told me what a strong pusher I was, and that just watching, they could see my baby's head move down each time. I would definitely have a baby by lunch.
5 hours of pushing later and baby hadn't moved any further. My midwife brought in the dr on call and she informed me that my choices were to try the vacuum or go right to csection. We did 5 tries with the vacuum and she still wasn't moving. The dr couldn't figure out why she couldn't come further out. Never through any of the 24 hours of labor did baby have ANY decelerations. They weren't worried about her, other than the fact that my water had been broken for 36 hours.
My husband met me in the OR. I felt some extra pain besides the expected tugging, so I got 2 extra shots of some drug. The result was I was essentially high for the birth of my daughter. They showed her to me, I was told I cried twice and then went back to babbling about other things. My husband held her for a second and was able to hand her off right before he passed out from exhaustion. I still got to hold her as they wheeled me back to my room, but I was not all there.
After they showed me the huge bruise on her arm, it was clear that her arm had been stuck behind my pubic bone and she COULD NOT have come out naturally.
I know that I tried everything I could have done, but I'm still having a lot of trouble with my birth experience. Mostly the fact that I was drugged and missed that initial bonding with her, even though I had her by my side the entire 3 days we spent in the hospital afterwards.
I am going in to meet with my midwife about what I'm feeling, but I'm wondering if anyone else had similar experiences and how you dealt with them?
TIA,
Rosie
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Re: Unplanned csection and sadness
This was definitely not the birth experience I had planned for or wanted, but in the end I have a healthy baby boy and I know that is what truly matters. I guess I've "moved on" in that it is not bothering me any more. Although I am getting very antsy to get back to my normal active life and this recovery thing stinks!
They had me try to rotate but when I moved she decelerated a ton. It turns out she was stuck sunny-side up and couldn't tuck her chin to get past my pubic bone. During pushing, my blood pressure suddenly plummeted (I think it was 80/50). Since she seemed distressed, my blood pressure was low, and I had been in labor for 34 hours, they took me to do a C-section. I hated being separated from her. She stayed apart from me even longer that I would have expected because she had jaundice and coombs.
I was really upset, nothing went as planned at all. I feel a lot better now. I think spending lots of time with my daughter and being able to breastfeed her really helped me overcome my sadness over the way she was born. That, and constantly reminding myself that we were both in distress and it needed to be done.
Yes.
I wanted a natural birth, but also was open to an epidural, depending upon how things went. I went into labor naturally at 40w5d. My water broke when I was only 2cm. Luckily, I had my son in Germany, so they let me go longer than they would have in the states. 12 hours or so into active labor, they wanted to do a c section because I was progressing so slowly. I fought it, but another five hours later he was showing signs of distress (tachycardia, I got a fever). So it was game over, then.
I was very sad. He may be my only child, so I knew that was my one shot. The WORST thing anyone said/can say is "at least you have a healthy baby, that is all that matters!". That just sweeps your sadness under the rug, IMO.
Allow yourself to grieve a bit, it too me months to get past it. I still can't look at newborns being handed to their moms, or placed on their chest, I cry and get upset I missed out on that.
Remind yourself you did all you could. Sometimes it just goes to hell, and it's not your fault.
(hugs)
DS born via unplanned C-section at 40w6d
My husband knows I'm sad and feels bad. He keeps asking what he can do to help. He's trying so hard to understand and is so supportive, but just doesn't understand the feeling.
But because of decreased fetal movement I went in for weekly NSTs. After the did an U/S the doctor said that there was low fluid and reduced blood flow to the baby, who was measuring in the 90th percentile (they were exact with the weight) and said that I had a high chance of stillbirth and if I wanted to avoid an emergancy c section I needed to be induced that day.
I was completely ignored by the doctors in the hospital because they kept getting busy. They gave me prostiglanden gel because they said it could be done more often than the cervidil. But then they got busy and for 3 days gave me doses ever 15-16 hours rather than the 6hours break they told me they were going to do. I had no change in my cervix at all. They did one cervidil on the 4th day and it didn't change anything either. After a horrible encounter with a doctor that was pure evil and checked me and begun stretching my cervix while I was screaming and begging him to stop (he didn't) I was physically and emotionally drained.
The next morning they were about to set me up to pitocin when I asked if I could talk to the OB on call. I told her I was worried about trying the pitocin because my baby's heartrate was already a bit erratic. She told me it the most likely senario was a c section, because of his position, size, and the fact my body was not in any way prepared to go into labor. But they wanted to try the pitocin anyway because there was a small chance that it would work.
DH, my MW, and I all talked about it and I decided that it would be better for him to be born via c section than try to force a vaginal birth that wasn't working after 4 days of induction.
Because I never fully got into active labor I feel like I missed out on something that most Mom's experience, and talk about. I know I made the right decision to have a c section because it was safest for the baby, I still have that 'What if'
I thought that it would have been easier to accept if I had known that there was no other choice, but from the sounds of it a c section is hard for most woman to get over regardless of the situation.
I agree with PP, whenever I see a show on tv where someone has a baby and they put the baby on the mom's chest right away and it's this big magical moment I bawl. I was shaking so bad when they handed me Max I didn't want to hold him.
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