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stay at home dads?

emmylou1313emmylou1313 member
in Dads & Dads-to-be
my husband got thrown into being  a stay at home dad. he lost his job during my maternity leave. its been 7 months and he says everyone belittle him but i dont see it! is that just how it fells? id love to hear from other stay at home dads because i feel like he is blowing this out of proportion and though he claim to love being there for lily he complains about it constantly. i dont know what to do. options or help appreciated  
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Re: stay at home dads?

  • WulfgarWulfgar member
    My one friend is a stay at home dad because he has a Masters in Biology.  His wife has a Masters in Chemical Engineering.  For a while he would get a summer job to help out.  I don't think any of his friends ever have belittled him.  Not sure about the general population though.  From what I understand it takes a thick skin to do this.

    With your husband, you might want to talk to him and see if he would like to go back to work then help him do it.  Not everyone is set up to be a stay at home dad or mom.
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  • ColtsdadColtsdad member
    I'm not a stay at home dad, but he's probably pigeon-holing himself using traditional gender roles.  He probably thinks he should be the "bread winner", and instead he is playing the role that over time has gone primarily to the woman, so he may be feeling a bit emasculated, and is projecting his insecurities by saying others are belittling him because he may be feeling like less of a man.  Obviously, this is not the case... being a parent is a full time job in and of itself, one that is just as demanding, if not more so than any 9 to 5 job could be, and in most cases more important (unless you happen to be in a position where you truly save lives and/or help people out of serious situations).  Try to see if you can find a local stay at home dads group or something where maybe they meet once a week to do play dates or whatever, so maybe he doesn't feel so alone in his situation.
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  • LuckyDadLuckyDad member
    I'm not sure about "belittling", but I've heard there is a lot of distrust in mommy circles regarding men. YMMV by geography, but a lot of playground groups are going to be run by and for women, with typical womanly politics. Some groups might be extremely welcoming to a man of course.

    My biggest concern for him would be the same sort of loneliness and isolation that can hit Stay At Home Moms, especially if they aren't staying at home purely by choice. I agree with the idea he should seek out a Stay At Home Dad's group if he can find one.
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  • ColtsdadColtsdad member
    To go on top of what polooo said, I have days off in the middle of the week, so I take my sons to the zoo and the children's museum a great deal.  I am typically one of only less than a handful of dads present during the slow seasons in the entire place.  During the summer it is a bit different, but not by much.
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