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Too clingy?

youenjoymyselfyouenjoymyself member
in Attachment Parenting
I have a very high touch baby. I held her for the first 5 weeks of her life, night and day. From about 6 weeks until 18 weeks, she was much more content by herself and would actually sleep on her own. Then she got sick, and ever since then, she has refused to sleep alone in her crib. So now we bed share, which is working out great for all of us, so far. But since we've started sleeping together, I feel like she has been extra clingy with me. I don't use clingy as a negative term, I just mean she wants to be with me all the time. And even at day care, she fusses if one of her teachers isn't holding her. And she doesn't nap well anymore there either. Just 25-30 minutes 2 or 3 times a day. I'm just worried she's becoming overly dependent on me. Of course I love it that she wants me all the time, but I want her to be ok at daycare and with other people when I'm not around. Does this make sense? When we're at home, I wear/ hold her a lot and side nurse/nap with her often. Am I the one being too clingy? An I making it more difficult for her to be away from me?
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Re: Too clingy?

  • ncbellencbelle member
    Not sure how old she is now but all babies go through varying degrees of separation anxiety at different ages.  18 weeks is also prime time for the 4 month wakeful (did I do my math right!?) - so that could totally explain the changes in her sleeping pattern (which can last for months).

    I think if you respond to her needs, you can't go wrong.  Of course know that it's also ok (and good for you both!) to leave her with other loving care providers.  And certainly fine for her to chill on her own on the floor etc.  I found that talking to my babies if they were on the floor and started fussing to be held often helped as you can't always pick them up/wear them/etc. right away.


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  • blu-eyedwifeblu-eyedwife member
    I agree with NCBelle that this sounds a lot like the 4 month wakeful rearing its ugly head more than anything else.

    I've found that over the past almost 2 years my son has gone through extremely clingy phases.  Sometimes coinciding with teething, or illness.  Sometimes it's just a age-phase.  But he always comes out of them and back to a more independent child.  In your case, I don't think it's a matter of becoming too dependent.  I think there's probably something going on with her - teething, growing, being a baby, that's making her feel a little anxious and no matter what age you are, being held is a source of comfort.
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  • youenjoymyselfyouenjoymyself member
    Thanks for the response. She'll be 5 months next week. I secretly hope she continues to not sleep on her own, so we can keep sleeping together. ;)
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  • kristinyoung111kristinyoung111 member
    What's the four month wakeful? I dont think I've heard of that. I have a "clingy" baby as well.
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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member
    Probably just a stage! DS1 would fuss if someone was holding him or engaging with him when he was that age. He got better about it when he learned how to sit up, I think bc he could see and do more.
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  • youenjoymyselfyouenjoymyself member
    It's a time of huge cognitive development that usually happens right around the 4 month mark. Baby becomes much more aware of his surroundings and wants to interact with his environment more---> which means less sleep. And many times, babies will eat less during the day because they're distracted, which leads to more awake time at night to "catch up" on the feedings he missed during the day.
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  • kristinyoung111kristinyoung111 member
    Oh my, not looking forward to that. Our LO is two and a half months and is already up all day and constantly wanting us to hold her so she can sit up, or have us carry her around to look at things. I have a love/hate relationship with it
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  • cpmichcpmich member
    The 4 month wakeful was really rough for us. Teething didn't help. Hang in there!
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