Blended Families

NBFR: The irony is killing me.

I signed my offer letter and sent it off today.  I am so excited to start this new job and will be looking for a place to live this weekend. 

Crap on a cracker have things changed since I rented an apartment there 15 years ago!!  Hardly anything is in the papers anymore. It's all craigslist or property management companies. 

And rent!  Holy cow!  A cute little historic apartment I rented before I bought my house in '98 rented for $600.  It's now $950.  And it hasn't changed much from when I lived there.  The kitchen had new appliaces, but bathroom was crappier and still very old.  

I will pay more in rent than I paid for my mortgage on my foreclosed home!! 

But, my only debt is now to my parents and I don't have any bottomfeeders any more sucking me dry so I can afford it, it's just tough emotionally and mentally paying that.  

I so wish I could get a home loan and put these high dollar rental rates toward something I could keep and invest in.  I won't have problems paying my bills, but it will be so tough saving up to buy a home.  I am DETERMINED to own my own place again. I'll figure it out somehow.  I am seriously toying with a getting a large 1 bedroom, sleeping on the couch and putting the difference in money to my future home savings. 

Any advice from anyone who's had to start over financially like me, would be greatly appreciated.  And for those that don't know, XH and I filed bankruptcy last year, so I have that going against me as well for a good decade.

"he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval

Re: NBFR: The irony is killing me.

  • Get that large 1 bedroom but make sure you have a huge ass bedroom and SHARE the room with your daughter. 

    You can even decorate it with a really nice room divider. 
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
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  • I don't know what your area is like but I lived in a single wide trailer when I had to start over.  It had two bedrooms, living room kitchen and bathroom.  It wasn't a palace but it was MUCH cheaper than renting an apartment and I still had some distance from neighbors for privacy.  The rent was $450 for the two bedroom trailer vs. $750.00 to $800.00 for a one bedroom apartment.  To be honest, I hated it but knew the money I was saving would be worth it in the end.
  • With the economy the way it's been & the hit the credit market has taken bankruptcy is not as bad for your credit as it used to be. We declared it a couple years ago & pretty quickly started seeing our credit score going back up. We were actually even able to get a car loan a year ago when our car finally bit the dust. So, there is hope that it will come quicker than you think.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Well, that's what I'm trying to do - build my credit and save like hell to buy my own home.  

    It's just really hard giving someone that much money when I know damn well I could own a nice little starter home and pay much less. 

    I've been re-evaluating the apartment situation and I'm going to check out some one bedrooms too. If large enough, two years of one bedroom living will not kill me. 

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • I had a GINORMOUS one bedroom that I was going to foster babies in. 
    file:///Users/Ilumine/Desktop/Family%20Portrait%20for%20gift.jpg
  • It may not end up being as bad as you think. 

    XH and I did not declare bankruptcy, but he destroyed my credit. All of our bills were in my name, and when DS and I moved out he claimed he was paying for it all. I ended up getting hit with thousands of dollars in debt that had already gone to collections before I knew they existed. He told me he paid for everything, and I was dumb enough to believe him. 

    Anyway, we split in 2006, and everything is just about to fall off my credit report. Between that time and now I have rented an apartment, leased a car, bought a house, and gotten a couple new credit cards. 

    Right after I'd paid everything (his effing cable & power bills, furniture that sits in his parents house...I STILL GET ANGRY) my FICO bottomed out at something like 540! I don't know what it is right now since I don't pay for monitoring anymore, but 3ish years ago it had already come up over 100 points. 

    When we were buying our house, I was concerned about how bad my credit looked. The loan officer asked me to write a letter explaining the divorce and how things went down, and she put it in my file. I have no idea whether or if it helped, though. 

    Hopefully it won't be as bad as you fear. =)
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  • I had to let all my old credit junk fall off as well. The last of it just fell off. Now waiting on DH's. Apartments around here are as much as rental houses so we have just been renting. Although I added up how much we've paid for this rental we've been in for 6 years and it makes me ill. I can't wait to own a home.
    DD(14),SD(13),SS(11),SS(9),DS(3)

  • My friend declared bankruptcy and purchased a house fewer than 8 years later. You may have to wait but it CAN be done!
    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • Even more ironic....I got the official letter from my lender that today is the official date for my foreclosure. 

    I'm sure it's just a form letter, but it pissed me off. They state that they did not hear from me and I did not provide the proper documentation from me that would have helped me re-finance. Um. Yeah.  I did.  You lost it. I re-submitted it.  You denied me.  Go screw yourselves.

    I f*cking TRIED. 

    I'm so pissed off with them I can not even tell you.  But I will own again.  I am sure of it.  It's one more goal I need to accomplish.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
  • +just+j+ said:

    Even more ironic....I got the official letter from my lender that today is the official date for my foreclosure. 

    I'm sure it's just a form letter, but it pissed me off. They state that they did not hear from me and I did not provide the proper documentation from me that would have helped me re-finance. Um. Yeah.  I did.  You lost it. I re-submitted it.  You denied me.  Go screw yourselves.

    I f*cking TRIED. 

    I'm so pissed off with them I can not even tell you.  But I will own again.  I am sure of it.  It's one more goal I need to accomplish.

    I went through all of that a few years ago.  In the end I lost my house AND had to pay them about $1000.  I know how you feel.  After about a year I started to get credit card applications in the mail again.  
  • I, too, started all over after my first marriage. I was 25 and had student loans and a car xH left me with. I just rented a small apartment and did what I could. I'm a teacher so I got a part time job, too. I know our situations are different, as I didn't have kids with him, but once you get out there the independence is a very strengthening power. :) you'll do great!!!
  • I looked at apartments and got really depressed because there is a lot of CRAPPY places out there, but I think we (my sister and I) found two really nice possibilities at a decent price. She's going to check out two we found in nice buildings, but we couldn't get a viewing of this weekend.  I'm hoping to finalize on one this week.

    XH is being an ass again. What's new.  He keeps pushing me to meet the girlfriend and I told him she is the last thing on my mind right now - can I just move first?  And he is still pushing that I get daycare half way between us. I said no. I pay for it, I'm the primary.  I'm getting daycare close to me. He says "Fine. I'll just get daycare here where I'm at." like that was supposed to piss me off.  I said, "Oh!  That'd be great! I'll save money on my daycare. Perfect. Just let me know who and where so I can check it out per the CO."  

    Check. And Checkmate. I am done discussing it.

    "he offered her the world. she said she had her own" - poet Monique Duval
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