Too soon for babies?! — The Bump
Babies on the Brain

Too soon for babies?!

My husband and I have been married almost a year and half now and I have caught the baby fever! We are both 24 and I would be fine with ttc this year, however, family and friends keep telling me to wait for kids. I don't want to have my first child when I am 30, like my mom did with me. I would like to be done having kids by 26/27ish. Opinions please!? :))

Re: Too soon for babies?!

  • It's not about what your family and friends tell you.  I just turned 25 and my mom also had me when she was 30 (and my brother at 39).  I want to be a younger parent, my husband and I feel ready to be parents.  I'm lucky enough to have some aunts that I have talked to about kids and they are completely supportive of me not waiting.  I just avoid talking kids with those in the family that think I should wait (like my mom).  They love you and they should be happy for you when you do get pregnant.
    October 2012 - Stopped BCP, TTC #1
    BFP #1 4.24.2014 - EDD 1.2.2015 - MC 4.29.2014 (4w4d)
    BFP #2 9.22.2014 - EDD 6.2.2015 - MC 10.7.2014 (6w)
    March 2015 - Started BCP, Taking a break

    September 2018 - Back at it - Stopped BCP, TTC #1
    mmv12
  • How does your husband feel about it?

    You are young but as long as you and your husband feel emotionally and financially prepared, go for it.  But think beyond the good stuff - consider the permanent change to your body, waking up all hours of the night, trying to figure out why the hell the kid has been screaming for the last 30 minutes, the impact on your social life, the impact on your relationship, etc.  You can spend the next few years navigating parenting or having fun without being tied down to a kid at home.  It's tough and it changes your life.  Have a really thorough and honest discussion about this with your husband - and no one else! - and make sure this is something you both want and are ready for.  Don't discuss your plans with friends and family.  It's no one's business but your own.

    Good luck!

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    mmv12snmetz7
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  • mmv12mmv12
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    Thank you everyone for sharing your stories! This helps a lot! :)
    [Deleted User]
  • I agree, if you and your husband are emotionally and physically prepared to have a baby (including health insurance and maternity benefits if at all possible!), then go for it.  If you think you might regret it because you haven't done XYZ thing yet, then wait.  Just know that it's kind of hard to change your mind once you decide to go for it, especially if you happen to be successful on your first try. :)

    FWIW, we started TTC when we were 22.  It's now 5 years later and we still don't have any kids, but I don't regret my decision to start trying when we did - we would be a lot further from building our family if we hadn't started trying when we did. :)
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    mmv12
  • I'm not trying to pry but ate you both in a place financially where you can enjoy baby and take time off to be a family? Career wise have you established what you wanted to before you take time off? My husband and I waited for this reason. Im 28 and TTC this year, we have been married for 2 months but together for 9 years. But of you feel like you're emotionally, physically and financially ready then go for it. Personally I lovedddddd being in my early 20's. best years ever, I traveled finished school and got to do a lot that I wouldn't have been able to do with a child. I'm glad we waited but that's just me :)
    also get ready for the unsolicited advice from family if you want to be a mommy. It will not stop, it's just a taste lol. Just grow thick skin and do why feels best for you and your husband. good luck!
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  • zg49zg49
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    I always said I was ready for kids soon after we got married (was 20) but we just weren't ready. Now we are both 24 and so much has changed in the past 4 years. Now we are ready, we have a house, reliable cars, good jobs, we're both healthy physically and emotionally and for us all of this was essential before we wanted to start trying. 

    If you and your H feel that you are ready then just do it. Friends and family will always have their opinions but it comes down to you and your H.

    I personally would like to be done with having kids by early 30's as well but that is just my personal preference. 

    Good luck!





  • I had my first at 26, second and 28 and my 3 rd will be here just before I turn 32. My advice would be, age isn't an issue really, just don't have kids until its the only thing in the world you want. Good luck whatever you decide :)
    Lala7819amberhoothootLovestruckAJ
  • This is such a personal decision and I think different regions have different average ages of TTC.  It's vain, but honestly I enjoyed being able to wear a bikini all throughout my 20's..   and I'm ready to wear a 1 piece once I have my stretch marks :)
  • Like a bunch of ladies said, if you are ready and have done what you wanted with your life prior to having children, then go for it!  Some couples have a larger aspiration for children compare to some who have a greater focus on traveling, nights out, etc.  It all just depends on the couple.  I am 23 (well I will be on Sunday) and my husband and I are also going to try to conceive very soon.  I know I am ready to be a mother.  I have been. My heart hurts for a baby.  I would rather be home on weekend nights with a beautiful baby then out drinking with friends.  I would rather do play dates, etc.  My husband and I are financially stable to bring a child into this world and we just KNOW we are ready.  Everyone is different :)

     

     Anniversary

    My husband and I tied the knot on June 29th, 2013

    First pregnancy: BFP- 10/23/09. EDD- 06/30/09. MC- 11/23/09

    TTC #1 since August 2013: Hooray!

    DX: PCOS 9/23/13

     

     

     

     

     

    mmv12
  • I'm in the exact same situation just turned 24 married for a year and half and Im ready to have a baby ;-) My husband and I are going on one more tropical vacation and then we will start trying to get pregnant. I would like to stop having kids at 32. Both our parents had us when they were 23. Honestly if you're ready and that's what you want then why not start now
    BabyFruit Ticker

  • This is a decision that needs to be made between you and your husband. Just some things to think about: do you both have steady jobs? Do you own a house?(depending on where you live) Do you both have reliable cars? Do you still like the party scene? Do you want to travel? These were my standards before we decided to TTC. Good luck!
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    mmv12
  • Please keep in mind you may not get pregnant right away. If you are ready to start trying go for it. Your family will have 9 months to get used to the idea. I got married at 24 and we started trying right away. It took me 2 years to get pg with my first. I wanted to be done by 27 or 28. I had my first at 26, my second at 29 I am now 32 and pregnant with my final little bean.

    ~*Christine*~ TTC #1 with PCOS since September 2005. 8 rounds of clomid- 4 HSG- 3 failed IUI's HSG 11/16 showed no fill in right tube-First RE visit 4/12/07 (my 26th b-day)started injectables with IUI- 75 IU's of Follistim- increased to 100 IU's- HCG 5/4/07 - IUI on 5/6 BFN 5/21 Increased Follistim to 125 IU's tested again 6/18 BFN & AF showed up. Last IUI before starting IVF 6/30/07 ******BFP 7/14/07,7/15/07 & positive blood test 7/16/07****** Our little Bean was due Easter Sunday, 2008 (March 23rd) Kaitlyn Jean arrived 1 week late 3/30/08 7lb 10.5oz 20" perfect! Myla Grace was our little gift, BFP first month off the pill arrived on her due date 12/16/10 BFP number three August 4, 2013 Due March 27, 2014

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    mmv12[Deleted User]
  • It's such a personal thing for each couple, there's not one right answer.  As long as you and your H are both on the same page, and are financially capable of taking care of kids, then don't let anyone else influence your decision.

    mmv12
  • Thank you everyone :) we feel it is the right time for us and are really excited to start trying!
    [Deleted User]
  • My family keeps telling me the same thing. My husband and I both want kids before we're 30. It's about you and your husband, not about what your family wants.
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