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August 2011 Moms
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Siblings' SOs Post Break-up

melissa0726melissa0726 member
in August 2011 Moms
My brother has been with his girlfriend for almost five years, and they broke up this week.  I feel stupid, because it's not my relationship, but I'm upset over it.  She lived with him and my parents for almost four years of that time, and worked for our family business, so we all saw her constantly.  She's the only SO of my siblings who I have ever truly considered to be family, she's like another sister to me and my sisters. 

The breakup is both of their faults.  There wasn't any infidelity on either of their parts or anything that extreme....they were just kind of moving in different directions and she was frustrated over it so she wanted to take a break.  He said no break, they're either together or not, and she left. Basically, a lot of resentment was building up over time.   

Here's my issue...my sisters and I are hesitant about maintaining a relationship with her, as my brother is pretty devastated about the whole thing.  She will still be working for our family business (and so does my brother)so she'll still be around quite a bit.  We don't want to hurt my brother's feelings, but she is still going to be a part of our lives in some way. Have any of you ever had a relationship with a sibling's SO that you were able to maintain post break-up, without hurting your sibling?
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Re: Siblings' SOs Post Break-up

  • Monsieur_et_Madame_HaMonsieur_et_Madame_Ha member
    I'm sorry about the breakup. That truly stinks.
    I know it's not the same, but I keep in touch with my cousin's ex-wife. They were together for 12 - 15 years and I consider her part of my family as much as I do my cousin. Their breakup was amicable, but I still waited a few months before contacting her, just to give them both some time to heal first. That's what I would suggest you do, too. I just figure that a lot of venting will happen during those first few weeks/months, and I wouldn't want to get caught in the middle of it, you know?
    Good luck!
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  • melissa0726melissa0726 member
    Thanks, Mama Ha, that makes a lot of sense. I am def not looking to get into the middle of it!  And hey, who knows, maybe they'll get back together in time.  They are young, so anything could happen!
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