Giving up. Updated.

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

I'm switching to formula, DS did gain 1.5oz, with me supplementing, but its like since I started supplementing that one time, his body realizes what "full" feels like... No matter how much I nurse him, I can't compare to the formula. His poor belt was growling at me this morning, despite having nursed him every 2 hours for almost 45 minutes or more each time,, yes, so I slept virtually none, and yet my poor outta Aidan was still hungry... Gave him 2oz this morning, and now he's sleeping soundly, I just,, can't do it, it's destroying my mental health. I've had no sleep in days, I have so much guilt over knowing he's hungry, and not to mention having zero time with DS1. Happy Momma = happy babies... Right now, m not a happy Momma. Hoping making this switch will fix that. Thanks for all the support ladies, this has been a humbling experience, for sure,,, learning that sometimes having "heart" just isn't enough,,, Omg. After posting this, DS wakes up gagging and projectile vomits the 2oz of formula. I can't win.

jobiann · August 2013

You have to do what is right for you and your baby. I wasn't producing enough BM and I was barely pumping anything in addition so I stopped at 3 weeks. I felt bad but good that I gave him what i could. After we switched everyone was a lot happier. That was what was best for my family.

FmrAFBrat · August 2013

I really don't think it's you.

He sounds just like Landon was when he was a baby. Poor little guy struggled with weight gain no matter what. And he projectile vomited most formulas within an hour. We tried every brand of formula before realizing he had an allergy and sensitive stomach. Nutramagen and Gerber Good Start Soy ended up as our formula choices in the end.

He finally started gaining and got back on the chart on the Good Start Soy, but honestly me supplementing with breastfeeding probably at least sustained him because he wasn't spitting it up or projectile vomiting it. I never fully nursed him and I only made it 6 months doing that. Not saying you should do that, but do what is best for you.

With the wet and dirty diapers you were having he may have an issue with reflux or food allergy. Sometimes doctors offices think formula will resolve the issue and that just isn't true. Some babies need to be monitored and given more attention than others. Wish there was a magic fix.

Hopefully you'll find sonething that works. It's frustrating to say the least. ((BIG HUGS))

KikiCohen · August 2013

I had a very, very difficult time with making the decision to switch to formula. I was EP and it was like I never had any time to do anything else behinds pump, feed, clean bottles/pump parts, and repeat. It was maddening!

DS does throw up a little bit more with formula than he did with BM, but all babies throw up some. It's normal. Don't beat yourself up over that. I felt so guilty that DS developed gas issues after switching to formula until I read that a lot of babies develop gas around that age anyway.

You have to do what's right for you and your baby. I hate that women are made to feel guilty for choosing formula. You're feeding your baby and that's what is important.

(hugs) Feel free to PM me anytime you need to talk or vent!

delino · August 2013

(((HUGS))) It's so hard to make the switch when you want to BF so badly. I went through it and cried so many tears over it. It helped me to pump and give her a few bottles a day of BM, but that got harder and my supply just kept going down. In the end, I stopped last week and while it's a relief to have the switch behind us, I still am upset about it. All that matters is that LO is fed and growing. As for the vomiting...you may need to burp him really really well or try a different formula.

weaslewam · August 2013

I agree with PPs. You need to do what's best for you and your family. (((HUGS)))

adoxyinherear · August 2013

You are doing the BEST THING for your family by taking care of yourself. So many hugs, mama. I know it's tough. Both your boys will be happier and healthier for having a mama who can make hard decisions for everyone's good.

Rachel Goldstein · August 2013

I just dumped my pump this week. I wanted desperately to bf my boys but being premature took that dream and twisted it. I EP until they were 4 months but the stress was just too much. I quit and I'm grateful I stopped fighting a losing battle. You have to do what's best for you so you can take care of your babies.

Big hugs. This too shall pass.

orangegoggles · August 2013

:::hugs::: you are a great mom facing hard decisions. You made the right one for your boys.

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

Update. I'm still holding on. I convinced myself it was wrong to stop after he puked up the formula. But continuing clearly hasn't gotten better. Oh, an DS1 has a terrible cold but mommy is too busy with a baby on my breast to be able to cuddle him. Ahhhhhh. I did start fenugreek hoping to boost my supply so I maybe an pump some... So far no luck.

amidkiff · August 2013

Big Hugs mamma. Just hang in there and make the best decision for your family with no guilt. Like you said happy mamma = happy family.

CNYBride05 · August 2013

Big hugs momma! It's not giving up, it's just making a different choice. Totally heartbreaking and demoralizing sometimes, but I'm with you - happy momma, happy baby.

FmrAFBrat · August 2013

((HUGS)) Do what is best for your family. Happy mom equals happy baby. YGPM

s0ulchicken · August 2013

JulyMomma2U2 said:
Update. I'm still holding on. I convinced myself it was wrong to stop after he puked up the formula. But continuing clearly hasn't gotten better. Oh, an DS1 has a terrible cold but mommy is too busy with a baby on my breast to be able to cuddle him. Ahhhhhh. I did start fenugreek hoping to boost my supply so I maybe an pump some... So far no luck.

Hugs to you Momma! Hopefully you will find good balance soon. Trying to bf and take care of your family is a daunting task! BTW, you'll know you're taking enough Fenugreek when you start to smell like syrup!

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

mkc5869 said:

Update. I'm still holding on. I convinced myself it was wrong to stop after he puked up the formula. But continuing clearly hasn't gotten better. Oh, an DS1 has a terrible cold but mommy is too busy with a baby on my breast to be able to cuddle him. Ahhhhhh. I did start fenugreek hoping to boost my supply so I maybe an pump some... So far no luck.
I really hope this gets better for you either way. Just an FYI in case you didn't know it takes at least 1500mg of fenugreek 3x a day to make a difference. Keep us updated!

Good to know.. I was taking 2 @610mg three times a day.. Maybe tomorrow I will up it to 3 3x daily. Thanks.

CNYBride05 · August 2013

JulyMomma2U2 said:

mkc5869 said:

Update. I'm still holding on. I convinced myself it was wrong to stop after he puked up the formula. But continuing clearly hasn't gotten better. Oh, an DS1 has a terrible cold but mommy is too busy with a baby on my breast to be able to cuddle him. Ahhhhhh. I did start fenugreek hoping to boost my supply so I maybe an pump some... So far no luck.
I really hope this gets better for you either way. Just an FYI in case you didn't know it takes at least 1500mg of fenugreek 3x a day to make a difference. Keep us updated!

Good to know.. I was taking 2 @610mg three times a day.. Maybe tomorrow I will up it to 3 3x daily. Thanks.

I've been taking 3 600mg capsules 3-4x/day and STILL don't smell like maple syrup

MickeyM04 · August 2013

Big thumbs up to you for your decision. It wasn't an easy one to make but you realized it's the right thing for your family. There's nothing wrong with formula, especially if it means your baby isn't going hungry! We quit BF earlier than I had intended because I needed to go back on my anti-anxiety meds. I was a mess and having hourly panic attacks and couldn't eat I was so anxious, and once I got DS on formula and started my meds, I was SO much happier and easygoing and it made me a better mama to him than BFing him did. You should be so proud of yourself for your decision.

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

@bandeddie That made me cry. I kept up with nursing all day Saturday and yesterday and through last night. N a very ugly, sleep deprived sobbing mess I made the final decision to stop this morning, I was/am so exhausted. Despite feeding and feeding and feeding, he barely gained any weight since Friday.. I weighed him after nursing and he was up 2 ounces.. But his pre-feed weight would have been the same as Friday... I just can't do it. I felt like I was going to snap.. I wanted to get in my car last night and run away... DS wouldn't sleep.. Not during the day, to at night, etc.. I think he was just so hungry that he couldn't stay sleeping... When I caved this morning and gave him a bottle, again he was SO content... First bottle I only gave him an once since I had been nursing for hours prior.. Second bottle he took 3 ounces and then took a 3 hour nap (still sleeping now)... It breaks my heart, but it just shows that his hunger was likely contributing to hm not sleeping... I've been pumping all day, every 2 hours, and each time. Get about an ounce and a half total from bot breasts.. No wonder he was hungry,, and no wonder that's all the weighed feedings ever said he was getting... I was practically starving him, I will pump and mix with formula over the next few days until my supply dissipates.. Right now I'm just focusing in the fact that he's getting what he needs... Nourishment, I wasn't able to provide that.. Whether my body just sucks, or if his "lazy nursing" contributed too idk,, but either way,, this is best,,, from here things have got to mprove. If anything, at least I know he's not hungry. And I can hold him and not cry because I hear his tummy growling, it's gotta get better from here...

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