Told my mom we are pregnant

Re: Told my mom we are pregnant

• GoaliesWife123 member

  August 2013

  Something I'm learning is that you need to live your life and your happiness for you. If your family isn't supportive, that sucks, BUT, that should not be allowed to put a damper on your happy news. Live in the present and let go of their non-accepting ways. 

  
  

  If you feel like you need to confront them about it, do it! Put your own family first. You'll be doing that from now on!

  TTC our first. Married to, and madly in love with, my beautiful wife. Living with our fur baby and enjoying 19 nieces and nephews. 

  • DW and I have been tracking, preparing, getting medical testing since January 2013.
  • First Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 08/02/13: BFN
    
  • Second Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm 09/11/13, 09/13/13, 09/15/13: BFN
    
  • Third Cycle: Unmedicated ICI w/ Donor Sperm: 10/13/13, 10/15/13, 10/17/13, 10/21/13: BFN
    
  • January 2014: Sonohysterogram shows excellent lining & tubes have no blockages
    
  • Fourth Cycle:  Monitored clomid cycle  w/ ICI's at home: 1/24/14 and 1/25/14. Ovulation verified:  BFN
    
  • Fifth Cycle: 02/2014 Femara 5mg with ovidrel trigger CD14: BFN
    
  • Taking a few months off to evaluate if we want to keep trying

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• songbird31 member

  August 2013

  I'm sorry you got this reaction and unfortunately I can completely relate. I actually waited until I was 18-19 weeks to tell family. I wanted all the uninterrupted joy I could get before I HAD to tell them. We all live in the same city and there is always a possibility I could have run into them and been obviously pregnant so I had to. We actually still haven't told S's mom because she is hateful and honestly the emotional consequences of that conversation is something we don't care to welcome into our energy right now. We are thrilled to be bringing home a baby in 8 weeks and we will continue to own that joy despite the lackluster reactions and opinions of my family and the hate of others. At least S's sister is super supportive and awesome and the closest to us so she does have some family support. Just go about your pregnancy with the joy you already had. My dad has surprisingly come around quite a bit with the news, so you never know. Things could change in the next 6 months. Don't expect anything, but it's a nice plus. In the meantime, focus on the family you chose to create. It's empowering and personally challenging and awesome and continue to hold true to commitments that you will not give conditional love to your own child. This topic runs deep for me so sorry for the long entry, but through years of therapy and an amazing, perfect-for-me partner, I choose daily to break that cycle for the family I am building. I'm thinking about you and hope you find a way to heal your heart and not feel robbed of important life moments because you aren't getting the "normal" and deserved happy reaction that you were hoping for.

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• lbugher

  August 2013

  So sorry you're dealing with this That's terrible.  But like GoaliesWife123 says, you need to do what's best for you and your developing family.  It's your mom, really, who is missing out because you're bringing a new, special person into this world that she's refusing to get to know.  My guess is once she sees your baby's face her attitude may come around.  I don't know anyone who can resist their own grandchildren...

  While my immediate family (and DP's immediate family) are very accepting of our relationship and welcome a pregnancy announcement from us, my extended family will be another story.  I have several very homophobic uncles who give my partner a curt nod at holidays and are quite vocal about their opinions on gays having children.  Because of course we're all going to raise gay kids, right?  *eye roll*

  My mom warned me that my uncles won't be as pleased as everyone else - my cousins should be cool, and my aunts will be fine.  But my uncles will be in for a rude surprise when their usually sweet, docile niece flips her shit at Christmas if they say even one negative word to me about my partner and I becoming parents...  And I told my mom that, too.  We may have a good Hoosier white trash brawl on our hands if my uncles don't behave.

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• 2brides member

  August 2013

  While not true for everyone, things can really change once the actual baby is here.  I also got a very lackluster response, "Oh, ok" from my parents, but once the shock wore off and the kids were here, they were very excited. Hope this proves to be the case for you!
  

  

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• Knelson84 member

  August 2013

  I'm so sorry. My DPs family is amazing and so supportive. I'm not telling my family until baby arrives, simply because we don't want the stress whilst we are expecting so I understand how you and PP feel.

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• My2MoMs member

  August 2013

  Ya it's horrible my dad hasn't called. My 22 yo sister is ignoring me. I'm trying to keep it together bc I don't want to stress my wife out. We both are starting new jobs in Sept. she lost her job in June after 11 years and interviewed for a new position at a new school and beat out 800 applicants. They don't know she is pregnant yet yikes lol. So we have a lot of stress. I just wish I could have my family and their support my heart aches from them. When I get upset my wife just gets angrier that they have that power over me and it just makes her resent them more.

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