Be hypothetical with me, please.

Re: Be hypothetical with me, please.

• PaisleyRuth member

  August 2013

  I am not as emotionally connected to nursing as you are so this may or may not help... but I think, especially past a year, nursing is not really about the nutritional side of things but mostly about the desire to. If she doesn't want to then I would feel no guilt. She also will not remember this long enough to believe you love him more. Maybe you could come up with something special to do with just her to make it feel more equal?

  
  

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• Mrs. Rohde member

  August 2013

  Wow. That's tough. Hugs for you!!!
  I'd probably continue to nurse the one that wanted it because I highly doubt the other will be so hurt by it later on in life. It's not like you're going to bring it up or anything. If anyone asks of you nursed them both you just say yes (if you answer at all since its NOBODY'S business).
  How long do you want to nurse for?

  

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• rp-chicago-mom member

  August 2013

  Honestly, I'd stop pumping at a year if I EP'd for a single child. You have to cater your parenting to what each child needs. DD doesn't want to nurse anymore and that's ok. DS does and that's also ok. You're meeting the needs they are telling you they have. If I worked, I would stop pumping too. At this point, I would allow Howell to self wean and while I'd be sad to see that time go, I would let it be so I don't think it's any different because Viv is a twin. I'm sorry you are even in this position.

  

  

  Then and now. How did my boy get so big? 
  

  
  

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• rp-chicago-mom member

  August 2013

  Here's another way to look at it: I asked my sister how long she bfed her kids recently. Remember in my other post, she would never be able to make enough and she pumped and nursed a full year for each of her three kids. They all self weaned off the nursing after a year at their own pace. DD actually weaned at 11 months, DS1 weaned at 15 months and DS2 weaned at 20 months. What if they were triplets? Would how long each individual nursed have any more bearing on her love for them than it does with three singletons? Heck no. You did your best and now let it rest.

  

  

  Then and now. How did my boy get so big? 
  

  
  

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• LoveLo2010 member

  August 2013

  Baker_Bride said:

  Here's another way to look at it: I asked my sister how long she bfed her kids recently. Remember in my other post, she would never be able to make enough and she pumped and nursed a full year for each of her three kids. They all self weaned off the nursing after a year at their own pace. DD actually weaned at 11 months, DS1 weaned at 15 months and DS2 weaned at 20 months. What if they were triplets? Would how long each individual nursed have any more bearing on her love for them than it does with three singletons? Heck no. You did your best and now let it rest.

  I like this, it makes sense to me!
  
  I have to say I give you OP huge huge props for nursing and pumping for a year! I think you have done an outstanding job! I understand how you can be torn but every child is different and you have already given her an amazing start by making it a year. What ever decision you make I hope you are at peace with it.
  

  
  

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• sosoph member

  August 2013

  I nursed two kids separately for different amount of times. My milk totally dried up a few weeks ago, while my daughter made it to a full year. In retrospect, I realize she tried to self wean sooner, but I pushed and pushed and pumped more to make it to a year. I now regret that ridiculous amount of stress and time more than I regret that ds didn't make it to a year.
  It seems you're parenting your kids as individuals.
  At this point, there is nothing in breastmilk that kids can't get elsewhere - they eat solids, have outside sources of comfort, and an established immune system. So, I'd just cheer on your little girl's sense of independence and relax.
  

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• PurrCrasher member

  August 2013

  Sorry to post and run last night, that wasn't my intention but something came up.
  Anyway, you are all geniuses! I honestly hadn't been able to look at it from many other angles. @Baker_Bride you made so many good points that really helped me look at this differently. Thank you so much.
  You're all absolutely right. DD doesn't want to nurse and therefor she really isn't missing it. I think I'll continue to nurse DS for as long as he wants to and look for ways to have special snuggle time with DD.
  Some days I don't know what I would do without this amazing group of women.
  :x

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• SpruceGrouse member

  August 2013

  I could see myself feeling exactly how you do. I think I would continue to nurse the baby that still nursed and have extra special formula snuggles with the one that couldn't.

  

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• melmarie26 member

  August 2013

  I struggled with the fact that James didn't want to nurse and Rosie did. My spot need supplementing without nursing 2. I only made it 6 weeks with the both of them before I threw in the towel for my own health and sanity.
  
  You my friend are an amazing woman. Truly. Do whatever you feel is best. Sam and Viv are so blessed to have you as a Mom!

  

  

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