Do you think there is any truth to just relax advice?

KC1212 · August 2013

Do you ladies think there is any truth to the "just relax" advice?

I can't count the number of relax, get drunk, go on vacation, etc. advice I was given...but part of me wonders is there something to that? Or do you think that those women would have conceived even if they were trying their butts off? Is it just coincidental?

I mean, when I got pregnant with our son I had given up, but I wouldn't say I was relaxed. Actually I was stressed from starting a new job thought the fatigue that was actually from early pregnancy was work related.

But I wasn't relaxed per se.

I'm just doing way too much thinking I suppose.

KC1212 · August 2013

Oh and how can I relax if I'm putting all this effort into trying to relax ? :-?

KingLED · August 2013

First off, let me start by saying how much I want to punch people in the face when I hear that.

However, lots of stress isn't conducive to TTC, so I guess there kind of is something to it. But honestly, is anyone ever NOT stressed? TTC or not, something will fill that stress and not much will really change. Just like you with your new job. There's always stress. At least that's how I see it.

MJC1116 · August 2013

"Just relax and it'll happen" is one of the most frustrating comments anyone can say. Because the more negative news I get each month increases my stress and makes me obsess more about getting pregnant than ever. How can I think about anything else??

BUT

I really can't help but think that a lot of people seem to get pregnant without trying -- without thinking about it. That's how it was for us the first time around. We just figure we'll see what happens our first month trying, and BOOM, it worked.

I think there's some truth to it, but it's not the end all/be all. Plenty of people get pregnant while under stressful conditions. So who knows?? Wish I could relax, though

KC1212 · August 2013

Yes, for me it takes more effort to relax than it does just go ahead and allow myself to obsess.

But part of me feels like there might be a grain of truth into that annoying advice.

I think I'm just looking for an excuse for a vacation lol. A conception-moon!

I'll tell DH I have to go get a pedicure because it'll help me get KU!

Thankfully, nobody has said that to me lately, and it is the most annoying advice ever. Like I said just thinking too much lately.

MJC1116 · August 2013

Where are you in your cycle, KC?

KC1212 · August 2013

CD 11. I'm on day 3 (I think) of a "high" reading. I'm taking those darn ovulation tests 2x a day in hope that I catch my LH surge early.

How about you? you're not far behind me...I don't think.

MJC1116 · August 2013

CD 6... I have my next appointment on Monday to see how the follicles are growing. I'm so bloated. Ugh. Good news is my follistim cartridge lasted me 2 cycles! Woo hoo for saving money!

KC1212 · August 2013

Yay for saving money! That is what bugged me the most about treatments! Not only would I be jealous my fertile friends got pregnant but they did so for FREE! ugh.

I would get so angry that I was shoving out hundreds and thousands of dollars on a craps shoot!

It is our main reason for doing everything possible to get pregnant naturally again. It's a longshot, no doubt but I feel like at least if I'm dropping thousands later on treatment cycles then I'll know I tried everything under the sun and moon first.

Plus- I'm under 30. I'm afraid if we sought out help now we would get turned away because we do have a natural son. maybe not.

AND - when DH had his sperm analyzed the dr. told us he was "sub-fertile" not INfertile.

I don't know.

AprilDrew04 · August 2013

Not sure if I believe the relax and you'll get ku. When we conceived DD, it was a cycle I didn't think we had a chance in, but we still tried. I was helping on my family's farm and working my but off, and he was across the state 4 days a week taking a college course. So we only saw each other 3 days a week for like 2 months. I just happened to o during one of those 3 day weekends. We almost didn't even bd, because I was helping my brother milk cows til like 2 am. So definitely not relaxed, but also not over-thinking it either.

It's impossible to recreate that type of circumstance. My mom mentioned that maybe we'd get ku if we just gave up and decided to adopt. And part of my wants to give that a try. Worst case senario we end up with more kids.

MJC1116 · August 2013

KC1212 said:

Yay for saving money! That is what bugged me the most about treatments! Not only would I be jealous my fertile friends got pregnant but they did so for FREE! ugh. I would get so angry that I was shoving out hundreds and thousands of dollars on a craps shoot! It is our main reason for doing everything possible to get pregnant naturally again. It's a longshot, no doubt but I feel like at least if I'm dropping thousands later on treatment cycles then I'll know I tried everything under the sun and moon first. Plus- I'm under 30. I'm afraid if we sought out help now we would get turned away because we do have a natural son. maybe not. AND - when DH had his sperm analyzed the dr. told us he was "sub-fertile" not INfertile. I don't know.

Honestly, the money thing was a huge mental hurdle, especially coming to grips with the fact that for seemingly everyone else, getting knocked up is free -- and easy! When we sat down with RE and she ran the numbers for us, it was basically around $1000 for a clomid/iui cycle, $3000 for medicated iui cycle, and around $10K for IVF. Since IVF seemed very extreme right off the bat, we toyed with the idea of clomid for 3 rounds, but it only increased my chances to 8%. Once we had our financial situation sorted out, we went ahead with medicated IUI expecting to pay $3000+ each time. When the first one failed, part of my breakdown was feeling so selfish for spending all that money for seemingly nothing but a heavier period. Then a few days ago when we got our EOBs and realized that the follistim would last another go around, we calculated it to be about $2200 for TWO medicated IUI cycles. That seemed like a deal to me!

I'm under 30, too. When I first suspected issues, my OB kept telling me that I was young, not to worry, things would work out. She said "It took me 14 months to conceieve my 2nd and 3rd daughter." I felt hopeful but a little skeptical. Finally I had enough and she sent me to my fabulous RE. They shouldn't turn you away for age. I waited a long time too for my body to sort itself out, but ultimately I got tired of waiting. I admire your patience. We've been trying for almost 2 years (in October it will be 2 years) and I am tired of all the failed cycles. I finally gave in to needing help.

Holy cow, my responses keep getting longer and longer.

KC1212 · August 2013

Wait- Follitism gives u better odds than clomid?

I'm intrigued...

I only did clomid IUIs (but I did get 2 eggs per cycle)

No, MJC believe me... we plan to give this 1 year to 18 months of aggressive timed intercourse before I seek out help again. I'm just praying we don't have to go to plan B
BUT I feel like if we do go that route then I'll be more educated on it from you lovely ladies!

MJC1116 · August 2013

RE is big with statistics. She told me that couples who have unexplained infertility (no pregnancies in a year) reduce their odds of conceiving each month from 18-20% to 4%. With clomid/iui, it doubles those odds (8%), medicated fsh + iui brings it to 20% and IVF increases even more can't remember the numbers). FSH + IUI brings me to a normal chance for conception (that's the normal %age for couples our age), so we figured that was the way to go. Still on the fence about IVF, plus we are OOP so financially it may be too much. If we don't get pregnant this year, we'll talk about it next summer.

You sound super positive and upbeat! I bet you'll get your bfp before seeking help!

Have you used pre-seed? It's a fertility-friendly lubricant that helps sperm swim more freely. You can find it at Target, but I bought it from Amazon. Didn't help for us, but I'm glad we gave it a shot.

KC1212 · August 2013

I think the doctor only gave us a 12-15% chance success rate so your 20 % rate seems worth 2200 $ (I'd pay for those odds)

I hope we don't have to go the help route. Yes! bought pre-seed and love it!

I feel like I'm just trying every darn thing I can get my hands on.

I have the hubby on all the Fertiliad products for men.

I'm taking evening primrose oil, Fertilaid, and mucinex and I'm upping the water intake to offset my coffee addiction lol!

Once I ovulate I stop all the fertilaid/mucinex/and evening primrose oil and then I just take prenatal vitamins (makes my nails and hair look great!)

Oh and I think I might try the comedy movies during the 2ww.

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