My son can't be left alone at all!

BiscuitEater21 · August 2013

I am about to lose it. My son will be 16 months old this month...and he has already reached his terrible twos. He is a menace, an absolute tyrant. I love him with all of my heart but my gosh he presses my buttons all day, everyday!! He cannot and sometimes will not be alone for even a minute...sometimes he won't even fall asleep for a nap on his own. He does sometimes but most of the time he waits for car rides to fall asleep (I love taking him out and about because of this). But he also never falls asleep for the night without cuddling with dad first. It used to be me, now it's dad. Dad, dad, dad. Ha ha.

Anyway, he loves going outside. Our whole yard is fenced in, and we have 3 gates. They are almost always closed because of our dogs and my son too of course. But the doors of the house get left open quite a bit so he will go outside pretty much whenever he gets the chance. Lately he has been ripping up plants and picking flowers in our yard and my mom even thinks it's the dog! I don't know how to get him to stop, I give him timeouts but he just gets into more trouble when he's alone in my room. He rips up papers, books, anything he can, and all kinds of stuff...

Any advice on how to handle situations like these? I know toddlers will be toddlers, especially little boys, but I am having a hard time lately. Maybe I need a break or something??

oliversmommy32912 · August 2013

Honestly I would be really surprised if I left my 16 month old in a room for more than a minute and he DIDN'T destroy something.

Today I went to the bathroom and when I came out he had taken all of the tissues in a kleenex box I accidentally left down and threw them around the room. I was gone for maybe 90 seconds. Typical toddler behavior.

stanfordt04 · August 2013

the pac and play is the best thing going in my house right now. he can play safely in there while i quickly get dressed for the day. or if i need to vacuum. he has some favorite toys in there and keeps himself entertained. i think he likes the quiet time to himself. i also bring it with us when we travel. it is nice to use when we are at a pool or an outdoor picnic. it always gives me minutes to take a "mini" break and not stress and worry about DS walking (wobbling) around a pool.

he is constantly moving at this point and needs to be entertained all the time. it is okay to take a break. i can't constantly keep him stimulated all day. he needs to learn how to play independently and be safe.

good luck!

shannm · August 2013

Close the doors and move thing that he can hurt. Why does he have access to important papers?
And I would get into a routine for naps if your current system is making you unhappy. Inconsistency is not helping you.

aeh72 · August 2013

Honestly? I think you need to start putting things on lock down. I hate the fact that half of our main floor is baby gated and that I had to put away anything breakable (or tearable) within DS's reach, but if I hadn't, our house would be destroyed and I would be a crazy lady. I've complained on here before about my house looing like romper room, but as DS has gotten older (he's 16 months too), living in romper room has begun to have it's perks! With that all being said, while I'm more comfortable if DS is out of sight briefly because I know we've baby proofed pretty well, I still have to stay on top of what he's doing because no matter how hard we've tried to keep things safe or out of his reach, he will still find something to get into that we don't want him to (and don't get me going on all the things he's trying to climb on these days!). I think this is life with toddlers!

ETA - on the tearing up books. I have a pile of old magazines that I let DS go to town on! He loves it. I just watch him to make sure he doesn't eat the paper, but this little game can buy me some serious time to get stuff done around the house!

ljanette85 · August 2013

Totally normal! I think that toddlers need a designated room or area that is childproofed and gated off. That way they can go crazy and not get hurt. A big play yard for the back yard may not hurt either. As for the outdoors, he should always be supervised. My LO almost ate a rock today when I looked away for a minute. They are a danger to themselves at this age. If he is really wearing you thin don't be afraid to put him in bed and set the timer for ten minutes or so. He will survive and you need a break! Plus it will teach him to self soothe and hopefully take a nap.

ChelsiAnn13 · August 2013

I agree with the pp. my LO did have most of my entire down stairs to roam but we have an open layout so I could see her from almost everywhere. Plus everything was baby proofed. Instead of just baby proofing and giving her one room we chose to do the entire floor.
Another thing we did was to leave certain cupboard and draws unlocked with approved things for her to play with, like plastic bowls. This helped me get a much needed break because while she was exploring , and thinking she was getting into the "fun"/ "unapproved" toys, I could just relax and watch her.

I have been a stay at home mom married to a man who came home after bed time so I know what it's like to need a break too. Good luck.

jld49 · August 2013

Sounds like a typical 16 month old. Are you expecting for him to entertain himself? He might be a little young for timeouts, especially since it sounds like you put him in your room for them. Timeouts are usually on a chair or step and last 1 minute per child's age... So 1 min for your child. What kinds of activities do you do with him? Maybe I can help you come up with activities you can enjoy together. If you are overwhelmed, there is nothing wrong with getting a sitter and taking a break. Or even hiring a teenager as a mother's helper to play with him while you get things done at home. For your specific situations, it's pretty normal for toddlers to need some cuddles before bed. You can shorten the amount of cuddles gradually. For outside play, first I would keep your doors closed and not allow him access. When you take him outside to play you can bring out chalk, bubbles, balls and play with him. DS loved pushing around a toy lawnmower at that age as well. If he tries to dig in your flowers, redirect him. Maybe get a sandbox and allow him to dig there instead.

This is great advice.

mnb311 · August 2013

I agree with everyone else. What toddler isn't going to destroy stuff when left alone, especially a boy! Also I'm a little confused about why you let him roam outside freely, that does not seem safe. And also putting him in your room for timeout just allows him to explore and tear sh*t up so he probably thinks its awesome and doesn't see it as a punishment. I think the earlier you start discipline the better but it has to be age appropriate. Like someone else said,if you want to do a timeout have him stand against the wall or sit on a chair for a minute or two, somewhere where you can see him.

smc008 · August 2013

Totally normal. Describes my LO exactly. I have learned to make safe areas where I can watch her in the house. A gate across the living room keeps her in and she can explore and play with everything in there. Several lower drawers and cabinets with Tupperware, bibs, and spatulas in the kitchen so she can hang out while I cook and clean. She never goes outside alone, but I have found a water table outside to be the best safe distraction possible so I can weed, paint, or clean the garage up. You will figure it out, but definitely confining to safe areas in the house that you can see will make your life easier. Good luck!

BiscuitEater21 · August 2013

Thanks everyone for your advice. I know he's a pretty normal toddler, so I don't think I need classes or anything like that. I read up plenty on where my baby is in his life and everything like that! I took him to some baby sign language classes just last month and he loved it, all the singing and the other kids, we had a blast!!

Also, I don't by any means, allow him to go outside alone at all! I try to keep the doors closed at all times, unless we're outside with him. The doors are just constantly being left open by other people here, my mom/grandma included, you think they'd know better by now. Ha.

I do need to keep a better eye on him in the house, but it's hard when I don't have anywhere to put him at the moment

(he's never had a crib and his playpen is at our relative's house out of town). I also try to keep the doors in the house closed so he can't go into certain rooms (the bathroom and our bedroom most importantly) but that also doesn't work 100%.

Really I just think I need a break. I'm pretty laid back, but I can only handle so much time without any to myself lol. I REALLY like the idea of getting someone like a teenager to come hang out and help me watch him while at the house. That is kind of what my little brother is, but I'd definitely have someone more appropriate and reliable if I was going to be paying them.

Again thanks everyone.

sunnyday016 · August 2013

Sounds a lot like my DS! We keep all the important papers and things out of reach. We shut the door to our bedroom. Everything that he can reach is okay for him to play with in our house. He's a climber so I still have to watch him all the time, but if I have to leave the room for a few minutes I know he's not going to hurt himself.

BiscuitEater21 · August 2013

I have a night planned out this weekend... I'm just counting down the time until then lol thanks again everyone.

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