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December 2012 Moms
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Cerebral Palsy/Child w/disability -what to say to friend

jsoubeljsoubel member
in December 2012 Moms
I thought some of you may have experience with this.  A dear friend of mine has a new baby daughter, and she has just been diagnosed with cerebral palsy.  His wife was also very sick after the delivery and it has been very tough for all of them.  I want to send a card, and I want to say something supportive without saying "sorry about the diagnosis" or coming off as insensitive and telling them it will be OK.  I feel their daughter is strong and beautiful, and I guess I more want to acknowledge it and be loving and positive.  Any suggestions?  TIA.

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Re: Cerebral Palsy/Child w/disability -what to say to friend

  • myskyegirlmyskyegirl member
    Just MHO I don't think you need to mention the CP.  Put in the card congrats on your new little girl, you can say something like you know how tough it is with a new born and offer to help if you can, and send your well wishes to your friend for a speedy recovery.  I just don't think the CP needs to be acknowledged in a card.  If you speak w/them one on one, then maybe you can ask how they are copping and how the baby is doing.
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  • dee12807dee12807 member
    I don't have personal experience as far as a sick child, but when my dad started to get sick, I hated people saying 'I'm sorry to hear your dad is sick' and not ever brininging it up again. I may sound stupid, but it felt less 'generic' if someone were to ask question: how is he feeling, what are his treatment options, etc. it made me feel like they actually cared.

    If this is a new diagnosis, a simple 'know that I'm here for you' might be a safe route. Good luck, that's a hard situation to face without feeling awkward.
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  • kerbear135kerbear135 member
    Depending on the severeness of the CP, the child may have a very normal life...my sister has CP and you'd never notice it unless you looked really hard and noticed that she doesn't have much use of her right hand...but even if it's severe, people with CP can still have wonderful, full lives (one of my favorite ladies at church has severe CP but can still "sing" along each Sunday). I would stick with @prncebride 's suggestion and just say congrats and let them know that you're available if they need any help with the new baby. You could add that you're available if they ever want to talk or trade advice...that way you leave the door open if one or both of them need a fried to talk about all this with, but you don't force it on them if they don't want to talk about it.


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    BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
    BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
    BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14
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  • kescalerakescalera member
    I agree with PP - my niece has very severe CP and is still one of the most amazing women I know. She has a very full, productive, independent life. If you send a card, I wouldn't mention the CP, just what you said here. "congrats on your beautiful baby girl"
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  • jsoubeljsoubel member
    Thanks for the good advice, ladies!

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