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December 2012 Moms
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Nanny gives milk and rocks baby to sleep..creating bad sleep association?

hsuxx064hsuxx064 member
in December 2012 Moms
Hi Ladies,

We just hired a nanny 3 weeks ago. She has been staying with us during day time twice a week (I will go back to work in September. By that time the nanny will take care of DD during the week days). Today it's her first time to put DD down for nap. I was not in the house but I know she gave DD a bottle and rocked her to sleep. Since DH and I just recently established EASY routine and sleep/nap trained DD, I was concerned that what the nanny do will ruin the routine and nap/sleep training by creating bad sleeping association. I understand that a nanny may not want a baby to cry, but will what she do during the week days create bad sleep association so we parents will not be able to follow what we used to do during the weekend?

TIA!
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Re: Nanny gives milk and rocks baby to sleep..creating bad sleep association?

  • mydixiewreckedmydixiewrecked member
    Hi,how do you know what the Nanny did while you were gone? I would set some very clear rules on how you want your child cared for and what you expect. Your baby,your rules. :)
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  • schumakrschumakr member
    Did you tell her not to do this? If you did I'd be upset, but if not then what did you expect? Tell her and be clear about your routine and make sure she understands the sleep training.
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    My goofy little love. I love you Alexandra Marie.
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  • *LrCg**LrCg* member
    This is our 3rd baby and I always nursed and rocked to sleep. My older ones are 3 and 4 and I can assure you its been years since I nursed and rocked them to sleep and they are still great sleepers.

    Although she should follow your rules, maybe your baby was off a bit with the new nanny and this extra bonding time is good.
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  • Beth.1212Beth.1212 member
    *LrCg* said:
    This is our 3rd baby and I always nursed and rocked to sleep. My older ones are 3 and 4 and I can assure you its been years since I nursed and rocked them to sleep and they are still great sleepers. 
    I'm really glad that worked for you, but it doesn't work for everyone. My LO developed a bad nursing association, and it was interfering with his sleep. He couldn't sleep for more than one cycle until we broke the nursing association I'd inadvertently developed. He wasn't getting the rest that he needed, and you could really tell. He's like a different baby in the evenings when he's had enough rest.

    OP, you need to talk to the nanny about how you want your LO cared for, and if she's unwilling or unable to comply, it may be time to find a new nanny. This would go for more than just how to put him to sleep; I'd think you would need to discuss things like what LO is fed and when, what toys / amusements are allowed (ex. are you ok with TV? If so, what programs? How much per day?), what products are okay to use (ex. are you particular about what soap is used for baths? is the nanny expected to give baths?), etc.
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  • kescalerakescalera member
    We also have a nanny and from Day 1 I was very clear about how things were done. Obviously she is going to do things a little different but she still follows the same routines and structure that DH and I do with LO. If you have had trouble in the past with sleep issues especially, you need to be firm with her about how to put LO to sleep or how to feed or whatever the activity may be. She is your employee and you are paying her to take care of your child in a certain way. 
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  • hsuxx064hsuxx064 member
    Thank you ladies for all your responses.

    We have a "nanny cam" so we know what she was doing (We let her know ahead of time that we want to check LO and get her consent to set it up). We did tell her we are having a EASY routine and for nap time, it's always turning on white noise machine, reading a few stories, cuddling and singing lullabies. We demonstrated what we do and asked her to stand by so she could totally understand our routine. We also told her she learned how to put herself to sleep on nap time and bed time. I think it's probably because sometimes LO still fusses or cries a while before falling asleep (she knew it) and she wants to earn our trust so she used her own "no cry" approach to make LO sleep for her. I will have to ask her to figure that out.

    I personally feel it's fine for her to use her own approach to ensure DD gets her nap as long as:

    1) DD still knows how to put herself to sleep when we take care of her; and

    2) DD doesn't wake up after one sleep cycle once she finds out she's in her crib instead of nanny's arm.

    I guess every baby is different from what your responses, but I will communicate more with our nanny to understand why she doesn't follow our routine.

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  • perfectlove09perfectlove09 member
    Reading your response, I would be slightly ticked off that she didn't do what you asked. I would just ask her why she did it differently bc there might be a good reason and then make it clear that from now on its done the way you already established.
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  • paohasspaohass member
    Im having a nanny for the first time and would like to see my babies aswell.... what :nanny cam do you use and where are they set up??
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  • hsuxx064hsuxx064 member
    perfectlove09 said:
    Reading your response, I would be slightly ticked off that she didn't do what you asked. I would just ask her why she did it differently bc there might be a good reason and then make it clear that from now on its done the way you already established.
    Yes, will do. Thanks for the advice.
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  • hsuxx064hsuxx064 member
    paohass said:
    Im having a nanny for the first time and would like to see my babies aswell.... what :nanny cam do you use and where are they set up??
    This is what we got.
    https://www.dlink.com/ca/en/home-solutions/view/network-cameras/dcs-5222l-pan-tilt-zoom-cloud-camera

    We bought three of them. We live in a two bedroom and two bathroom apartment. One of each is set up in the living room, nursery, and master bedroom. We didn't mount them on the wall but just put them on the dresser top.
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