December 2012 Moms

Feeling down

I went back to work full-time at the beginning of June.  Last night I was in tears because I feel like my LO doesn't even know who I am anymore.  He has a big daddy preference right now, which is certainly not helping me.  I see LO look for DH, search him out in a room, lock eyes with him, laugh at/with him.  But he doesn't do that with me anymore.  When I'm holding him, he's always looking away for whatever else is interesting to him in the room or looking for DH or looking at the cats.  I know I'm exaggerating a bit here, but I feel like he doesn't love me, or at least doesn't love me like he loves DH.  

I feel so completely left out of his life.  I get to see him for about 2 hours in the evening before he goes to bed, and for a few minutes in the morning.  It sucks.  I'm trying not to be resentful of my husband because he's only working part-time right now and is trying to get a new ministry off the ground, and I know that will take time.  I just hate that our DCP gets to spend so much time with him, and my DH gets to spend so much time with him, and I get so very little.  Color me green, because I am so jealous.  I guess I'm writing because I could use some encouragement and I know I'm not the only one in this boat.  Are there others out there feeling like I am?
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Re: Feeling down

  • I felt the same way when I worked ft. It sucks. Just cherish the time you do have with him. Maybe try doing silly games, things to make him laugh.


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  • I had to work late tonight and LO was already in bed before I got home. It's the first time I missed her altogether. So, I'm feeling pretty bummed tonight too.

    I look forward to the time that I do get and try to focus on cherishing that. Most mornings, I get up a half hour early and bring DD into bed with me/us for cuddle time. And most nights, I rock her to sleep. Those are the times she most wants comfort, so that makes me happy.

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  • As a mom of 3 and someone that works twice a week, I can relate, we all can whether you work or not. Your kids will go through phases of preferrances and it does suck but Moms always hold something special. I found that babies and kids go to Daddy to play and go to Momma for food and comfort. Maybe take a fun bath together this weekend or a nice long stroller ride little date, you'll feel better.
  • These are good suggestions. Thanks so much. I like the idea of morning cuddle time. Didn't think about that before. I was always more concerned about not waking the sleeping baby. But he gets up within the same hour timespan every morning as it is that a few minutes early likely wouldn't hurt. I also like the idea of having fun in the bath or shower. Thanks so much for the encouragement. Just one of those heavy nights.
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  • I work full time as well. It's definitely tough. With my LO she tends to always be looking around and not paying attention to me when I'm holding her too but I think that's more of an age thing. I try to look at it as LO gets a lot of extra stimulation by going to day care. She gets different environments and people. There are benefits to that. LO loves you. The fact that you work won't make her love you any less as she grows up.

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  • DD is going through a phase where she will look at anyone but the person holding her...if you want to interact with her, someone else has to hold her or you have to sit her on the ground facing you. Have you tried going into a room, just you and your LO and trying to play together, sing songs, or read...maybe if you cut down on other distractions, you can keep LOs attention for a little longer.


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    BFP #1 12/02/11, M/C 12/08/11
    BFP #2 04/06/12, DD born 12/20/12
    BFP #3 06/09/14, M/C 06/15/14

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