Hello ladies,
I hope everyone is doing well tonight. I was wondering if anyone had a song that lifts you up or is your "fertility/infertility song"?
For me it is 1000 years by Christina Perry, I know it is a love song between hubby and wife... But I do feel like this is how I feel "I have died everyday waiting for you.. I have loved you for 1000 years, I'll love you for 1000 more" but when I need a pick me up, it is "life's a happy song" by the muppets.
Just curious... And sort of looking for some new music.
Whenever we think of our embies, we think of the song "tiptoe through the tulips" by Tiny Tim. My husband hummed that song in my ear the entire time they were doing the transfer. It's not really a song that one would listen to and get "into", but it makes me smile and think of our embies dancing around and growing.
Looking for some new music? I went through all of art school listening to Rufus Wainwright. I find him to be passionate and inspirational. Need some nonsense and silly love songs? Regina Spektor.
BFP #1 - chemical pregnancy, natural miscarriage at 7 weeks on 2/11/12
BFP #2 - u/s at 8 weeks showed a tiny fetal pole measuring at 6 weeks, heart rate slow at 94bpm. Natural miscarriage a few days later on 4/15/12
August 2012- Diagnosed with pancreatic divisum, September - ERCP w/stent placement. Fingers crossed this was the issue! Doc gave the go-ahead to start trying again.
BFP #3 - Chemical pregnancy ending a few days after Thanksgiving 2012. Clearly my pancreas was not the issue. Doc told us to try one more time.
BFP #4 - Chemical pregnancy ending in January 2013. Now I'm pissed.
February- meeting with RE. Test results show I have a low egg reserve and DH has severely messed up sperm. Docs are quite confused as to how we're getting pregnant to begin with. Let the IVF games begin!!
April - stim time!! 7R, 6F via ICSI, 5 made it to day 5, 3 look "good enough" to be sent for PGS testing. We are now the proud owners? Parents? Of 2 healthy frozen embryos.
June - ugh. Lupron. So much Lupron. And Aygestin, and Estrogen, and Progesterone suppositories. Things are going in to my body every way possible!
July 25- scheduled for our first FET. Aaand huge fail. All of the estrogen gave my pancreas a good old fashioned hissy fit. Long story short, moving on to gestational carrier.
Ever since I got my BFN. I've been listening to the contemporary gospel station on Pandora. The songs are so uplifting.
Three ectopic preganacies in left tube in 1999, 2003 and 2004. HSG in 2010 concluded left tube blockage. IUI with femara in 2012 BFN. IVF #1 June 2013, 20 retreived, 14 mature, 12 fertilized via ICSI, one transferred, four frozen, BFN. FET in September 2013 - BFN:( FET #2 April 2014 - BFP!!!!
Whoever watches the wind will not plant;whoever looks at the clouds will not reap.As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God,the Maker of all things. <?xml:namespace prefix = o />
I love JosieCat's suggestions. I've been doing a lot of Regina Soejtor this summer. My 3 top IVF songs are all Jason Mraz songs: God Rests in Reason (live), I won't give up, and Sleeping to Dream About You. Also in that playlist is Hall of Fame by The Script, Brave by Sara Barreilles (love this one right now), and Counting Stars by One Republic. Not all of these are hitting the nail on the head message-wise, but they all seem to touch on something I can relate to right now...
| Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
| Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
Actually yesterday I heard a song that really struck a cord with me. It's not IF related but I thought it was very fitting as it talks about how a person can change over time but that the partner still loves them as the person they fell in love with, regardless. It's Jason Mraz, The Woman I Love
"The Woman I Love"
Maybe I annoy you with my choices Well, you annoy me sometimes too with your voice But that ain't enough for me To move out and move on I'm just gonna love you like the woman I love
We don't have to hurry You can take as long as you want I'm holdin' steady And my heart's at home With my hand behind you I will catch you if you fall I'm just gonna love you like the woman I love
Sometimes the world can make you feel You're not welcome anymore And you beat yourself up You let yourself get mad And in those times when you stop lovin' The woman I adore You can relax Because, babe, I got your back Mm, I got you
I don't wish to change you You've got it under control You wake up each day different Another reason for me to keep holdin' on I'm not attached to any way you're showing up I'm just gonna love you like the woman I love Yeah I'm gonna love you, oh, yeah I'm gonna love you You're the woman I love
dx: Unexplained IF TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3
TI, 2 IUI = BFN
IVF #1 (May 2013): Antagonist
Protocol: 24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2
early blasts, no frosties = BFN
IVF #2 (August 2013): Lupron Stop
Protocol: 28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1
partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d) FET #1 (April 2014): transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP C.J. born 01/09/15
Actually yesterday I heard a song that really struck a cord with me. It's not IF related but I thought it was very fitting as it talks about how a person can change over time but that the partner still loves them as the person they fell in love with, regardless. It's Jason Mraz, The Woman I Love
That song is beautiful.
TTC #1 since 2011
Me: 36, anovulatory PCOS; DH: 34, fine
Sophia Juliet conceived through IVF and born April 15, 2014
This isn't really a "life you up" song, but its definitely a song about fertility - Dixie Chicks "So Hard." Two of the girls from the band went through infertility/IVF and the song covers their emotions through it. It just makes me feel better because it totally covers what I'm feeling. Lyrics below.
Back when we started We didn't know how hard it was Living on nothing But what the wind would bring to us Now we've got something I can imagine fighting for So why is fighting all that we're good at anymore
And sometimes I don't have the energy To prove everybody wrong And I try my best to be strong But you know it's so hard It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy It's so hard when it doesn't come fast It's so hard when it doesn't come easy It's so hard
It felt like a given Something a woman's born to do A natural ambition To see a reflection of me and you
And I'd feel so guilty If that was a gift I couldn't give And could you be happy If life wasn't how we pictured it
And sometimes I just want to wait it out To prove everybody wrong And I need your help to move on Cause you know it's so hard It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy It's so hard when it doesn't come fast It's so hard when it doesn't come easy So hard
I can live for the moment When all these clouds open up for me to see And show me a vision Of you and me swimming peacefully
Last night you told me That you can't remember How to feel free
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy It's so hard when it doesn't come fast It's so hard when it doesn't come easy, easy
Re: Specific Song?
**Siggy/Ticker Warning**
TTC #1 since May 2012
May 2013: First R.E. appointment
DH: SA is good
May 2013: CD3 Blood work-normal
June 2013: Hsg-Right tube blocked
July 26, 2013: Starting Follistim for IVF #1
August 2013: IVF #1 Cancelled- Abnormal embryos
October/November 2013: IVF #2 w/ICSI
November 8, 2013: Transferred two early blasts (no frosties)
November 18, 2013: First EVER BFP!
Beta#1: 91 Beta#2: 288
1st U/S- 5w2d Saw yolk sac!
3rd U/S- 7w4d HB of 157bpm!
TEAM BLUE!
http://movingtolight.blogspot.com/
Three ectopic preganacies in left tube in 1999, 2003 and 2004. HSG in 2010 concluded left tube blockage. IUI with femara in 2012 BFN. IVF #1 June 2013, 20 retreived, 14 mature, 12 fertilized via ICSI, one transferred, four frozen, BFN. FET in September 2013 - BFN:( FET #2 April 2014 - BFP!!!!
Whoever watches the wind will not plant; whoever looks at the clouds will not reap. As you do not know the path of the wind, or how the body is formed in a mother’s womb, so you cannot understand the work of God,the Maker of all things. <?xml:namespace prefix = o />
Ecclesiastes 11 4:5| Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
| Married since 2008 | DH and I: Both 30 | Me: Endometriosis and Carrier of an X-Linked Dominant Genetic Disorder | DH: Low Morph | Planning IVF with PGD and PGS in 2013 | Freeze-All IVF #1: March 2013 ER 3/26. 29R, 12M, 11F. 4 5AA frozen blasts. Freeze-All IVF#2: May 2013 ER 5/15. 31R, 21M, 20F. 6 5AA frozen blasts. Our PGD probe was completed in late June (total of 20 weeks to develop). PGD and PGS Results came on 6/19: 3 healthy embryos (normal chromosomes and unaffected by my family's genetic disorder). FET #1: July 2013 Natural Cycle - Cancelled due to insufficient lining (only got to 7.5mm). FET #1.2: August 2013 - Medicated Cycle with Lupron & Estrogen Patches to build up lining. Single embryo transfer was 8/23. Beta #1: 240! Beta #2: 578! U/S on 9/19 at 6w4d: We saw the heart beating at 131bpm. Second U/S on 10/4 at 8w5d: We saw the heart beating at 178bpm. EDD 5/11/2014
*******siggy/ticker warning*****
Me(31). DH (31)
DH SA normal count and motility, 1% morphology
Me .72 AMH, Fragile X premutation carrier
IVF #1 (6/12/13) BFN
IVF #2 (8/16/13) BFN
FET 10/4/13 Chemical
IVF #3 MC 5 weeks 5 days
IVF #4 DE 11/7 BFP, edd 7/28/15
All Welcome
Well, you annoy me sometimes too with your voice
But that ain't enough for me
To move out and move on
I'm just gonna love you like the woman I love
We don't have to hurry
You can take as long as you want
I'm holdin' steady
And my heart's at home
With my hand behind you
I will catch you if you fall
I'm just gonna love you like the woman I love
Sometimes the world can make you feel
You're not welcome anymore
And you beat yourself up
You let yourself get mad
And in those times when you stop lovin'
The woman I adore
You can relax
Because, babe, I got your back
Mm, I got you
I don't wish to change you
You've got it under control
You wake up each day different
Another reason for me to keep holdin' on
I'm not attached to any way you're showing up
I'm just gonna love you like the woman I love
Yeah I'm gonna love you, oh, yeah
I'm gonna love you
You're the woman I love
dx: Unexplained IF
TTC since May 2011, 1 year trying, and then 3 TI, 2 IUI = BFN
IVF #1 (May 2013): Antagonist Protocol:
24R, 18M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 2 early blasts, no frosties = BFN
IVF #2 (August 2013): Lupron Stop Protocol:
28R, 23M, 15F w/ICSI; 5dt of 1 partially hatched blast, 7 frosties = BFP
EDD 5/23/14, blighted ovum (6w6d), D&C (8w6d)
FET #1 (April 2014): transferred 2 5d blasts = BFP
C.J. born 01/09/15
TTC #1 since 2011
Me: 36, anovulatory PCOS; DH: 34, fine
9/06: MC @ 12 weeks;
TTC for 18 months, then was referred to specialist OBGYN for 9 rounds of clomid;
10/08: Chemical;
12/18/08: BFP!!!;
8/27/09: DD was born!!!;
9/12 - 12/12 - 100 mg Clomid ~ BFN;
5/29/13 - HSG Clear;
5/30/13 - Sono revealed polyps;
6/27/13 - Hysteroscopic Polypectomy;
07/2013 - Provera, Clomid 100mg CD 3-10, Ovidrel, Pogesterone
8/20/13 - BFP!!!
8/23/13 - Beta 64
8/26/13 - Beta 186
9/05/13 - First Ultrasound - Gestational and Yolk Sac
9/12/13 - Saw baby!
9/18/13 - Baby has a heartbeat!
9/25/13 - No Heartbeat...
10/5/13 - Miscarriage officially begins
ET 9/10 - transferred 1 perfect 5AA blast
7dp5dt BFP ~~ Beta on 9/19 - 77.4 Beta #2 on 9/21 - 357
Low heartbeat on 10/7 86, lower heartbeat on 10/11 76, no heartbeat 10/14/13. D&C 10/15/13
Tests revealed MTHFR c677t mutation, put on Folgard.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FET #1 1/6/14 - 4BB blast - BFN
We didn't know how hard it was
Living on nothing
But what the wind would bring to us
Now we've got something
I can imagine fighting for
So why is fighting all that we're good at anymore
And sometimes I don't have the energy
To prove everybody wrong
And I try my best to be strong
But you know it's so hard
It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard
It felt like a given
Something a woman's born to do
A natural ambition
To see a reflection of me and you
And I'd feel so guilty
If that was a gift I couldn't give
And could you be happy
If life wasn't how we pictured it
And sometimes I just want to wait it out
To prove everybody wrong
And I need your help to move on
Cause you know it's so hard
It's so hard
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
So hard
I can live for the moment
When all these clouds open up for me to see
And show me a vision
Of you and me swimming peacefully
Last night you told me
That you can't remember
How to feel free
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy
It's so hard when it doesn't come fast
It's so hard when it doesn't come easy, easy
It's so hard
*Me 28 Husband 31
*TTC since 10/2009
*10/2010Tried 1 cycle of clomid 50mg with no results
*12/2010 On break due to needing a new OB and money reasons
5/5/12 Underwent exploratory surgery and had tubes blown out- no issues found
5/5/12 DH had SA and numbers look great
7/2102 50mg dose of clomid with ovulation and timed sex no results
8/12 Clomid cylce #3- no success
8/30 Went to see RE and we have decided to move onto IUI attempts
10/18 IUI#1 BFN and cyst developed so on hold
11/17 IUI cycle #2 BFN
IUI #3,4,5,6 =BFN
First round of IVF- 2 fresh transfered Beta=20, 37 than ended in M/C- Will do frozen transfer in Sept!