More woe is me...

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

Nursed all night and day today.. Literally non stop, or so it felt. Also picked up a scale this morning. DS weighs the same. And, every feed he's getting 1-2 oz from me nursing both sides. Wtf. Why did my supply disappear????? I'm not even feeling my let down anymore, and DS almost immediately goes to sleep on the breast. Is it because I'm now so stressed??? I have cried nearly all day. They are going to tell me I need to supplement tomorrow. And, rightfully so. I pumped 3 times today and got 1 ounce.. Offered it to him earlier this afternoon in a bottle and he chugged it.. Which just made me even sadder.. Basically confirms he's still that hungry. Cue more tears. I'm so close to just saying forget the nursing. It's making me feel like an emotional mess. I'm stressed and upset and sad. I feel like this isn't good for me.. For ds2.. For ds1 or for my DH... After writing (and not posting accidentally), I made the decision to offer him another bottle tonight with 2oz of saved breastmilk I had from the hospital and 1oz of formula... He drank almost the entire thing.. And for the first time this week, he fell asleep without requiring swaddling/rocking/shushing as he cries... Of course now I sit here thinking maybe this is the first time he's ever had a real "full" belly.. He took an ounce of BM from me, then almost all 3oz. Now idk what to do overnight,, I will continue nursing,, but now that I know he isn't getting enough, and that he's still hungry, how do I not keep supplementing??? How can i put him back down later knowing hes capable of drinking way more than i produced for hm?? I'm so angry at my body... Wy did my supply just drop off like this??? Our ped appointment is at 11 tomorrow. I guess now I just try and figure out how I can supplement now, but work on boosting my supply so we can still keep nursing, and hopefully go back to EBFing soon...

melly918 · August 2013

Hugs! I'm so sorry to hear you are struggling. My advice is to keep doing what you are doing until the appointment tomorrow. Supplement with formula if he is still hungry. I recommend seeing a lactation consultant if you truly want to continue to try to BF. If you are at the point where you are too miserable to continue BFing, there is no shame in stopping and other ladies will tell you that you should not think you failed or anything. Some ladies just cannot BF and that is not a bad thing. I have often said that BFing is tough and it is not for everyone. No one will judge you!

delino · August 2013

I'm so sorry. I was where you are and it is so painful. It hurt my heart so bad when we started supplementing. I have no advice because every trick in the book didn't work for me. I gave her what I could for as long as I could and try to be thankful that I was able to do that. All I can do is send some (((hugs))).

FmrAFBrat · August 2013

((HUGE HUGS)) I wanted to let you know that my older DS had the same weight gain issue and he had to be combo fed from day 2 because of jaundice. He didn't gain any weight at his 2 week appt and I felt like a total failure and that was with formula too.

He ended up having done reflux and allergy issues that were discovered later. What's sad is I was even setting an alarm to feed him round the clock. I was so crushed.

My rec would be to make sure there's not another issue at hand for his weight issues and if you are having supply issues after a week look at getting an RX of Reglan from your doc. Hang in there..it's not your fault.

Junebug060609 · August 2013

Quick Question: When you say he weighs the same...over what period of time are we talking?

***************

Talk it over with your pedi tomorrow and call a LC. Fenugreek, lactation cookies (bonus these are delish), dark beer, and drinking a shitton of water can also help your supply.

If he's nursing round the clock, be may be having a growth spurt. Actually, rereading what you wrote...nursing round the clock, insatiable appetite...darn good chance this is a growth spurt. Not sure if you nursed your first DS, but those were two telltale signs with my DS...the third being his sleep would go to shiit. It might also explain why his weight has stalled out suddenly. Newborns nursing incessantly is completely normal, especially if they are spurting. And honestly, I remember feeling exactly as you are describing right now at several different stages when he was nursing...just to realize a day or two later that it was a spurt. The sleep deprivation, the incessant needs, the hormones, the physical side of nursing...it's all so hard. Go easy on yourself, Mama, you're doing a good job!

I'm not a LC, but I'd put him to breast when he shows signs of hunger. Him nursing will stimulate you to produce more, but it takes a few days for the body to get the memo to step it up...so be patient. If he's crying in hunger after nursing, then by all means supplement, but if he's falling asleep then he's ok...even if he wakes up an hour or two later hungry again. Rinse and repeat.

Talk with the doc and LC and get their input. They may suggest supplementing, they might not. Perhaps the supplementing will be temporary, or maybe not...or maybe they'll want to do weighted feedings (or whatever they're called, when they weigh him before and after).

Ultimately though, and this is truly the bottom line, you need to do what's right for your family. If you have to supplement, if BF works out, if you switch to formula...do what works for your family. Whichever route you end up going, if you have a healthy, happy, thriving LO (and family!)..you did not fail.

ETA: Are you familiar with Kellymom? This website was invaluable to me when I was nursing. https://kellymom.com/bf/normal/growth-spurts/

amidkiff · August 2013

I'm sorry I have no advice, just big hugs hon.

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

@junebug060609 He was born 6-13.. By the time we were discharged 3 days later he was 6-3.. Two days later (5days old) he was 6-5 at my ped. She had us come back 4 days later to recheck weight and he was 6-10. 5 ounces in 4 days was great, so she said she'd see us for his 1 month appointment, Earlier this week I was saying to myMom about how he is still jaundice and I thought that should have cleared up by now,, he's 3 weeks old tomorrow.. She mentioned how she didn't think he looked like he's gained. Since the beginning, he has been a nurse around the clock baby.. Always on the breast,, comes off and is starving, etc. I swore he had to have gained because he is constantly nursing! Went to an LC meeting, weighed him,, 6-10.5. Different scale, yes, but even still that means he's gained 0.5oz in 9 days. Called ped, she had me come over.. Weighed him there and he was 6-11. So he gained 1 oz on the same scale in 9 days. She says to bring him back Friday (tomorrow) and in the day and a half she wants him to have gained t least 1.5oz. As of tonight, he is still 6-11. I've done weighed feeds all day and it seems he is only getting 1-2oz from me even when I offer both breasts. I've seen LCs from the hospital and a LaLeche League Leader.. All say latch is great so no issues there, he's just a "sleepy baby" and doesn't nurse efficiently. Very well could be from the jaundice still. My supply was great.. M telling you I was so engorged all the time.. Had to hand express before nursing just so I wasn't as full and he could latch,, this was every 2-3 hours.. And so I spoke with LC, said to do block feeds to help with engorgement/oversupply (DSs poo was green and watery,, still is though).. Did the block feeds for a day and a half and then suddenly it's like my supply is completely gone. Granted I'm so stressed right now, so that could factor in too, but all day today he's taken such a small amount from me,, and I drink s much water (over 100oz)! Idk what the answer is,

martinimomma · August 2013

First, hugs. BF is wonderful but it can be a bit of a mindf*ck, frankly. Junebug summarized it beautifully. Take it one day at a time, focus on supply and wet and dirty diapers. Read Kellymom and circle back with the LC on strategy. You might need to recruit help with DS1 while you sort this out with DS2 as it is time consuming and physically and emotionally draining. ((More hugs))
ETA: be careful with fenugreek if you had oversupply or over active let down/foremilk hind milk issues.

ProfessorPedals825 · August 2013

I'm sorry I don't have any advice but I wanted to offer lots of love and hugs. You'll get through this.

katigox · August 2013

Since I couldn't BF (so once again, take anything I say with a grain of salt), but I'm wondering about proper latching? Maybe he's not suckling in a way that would help your supply? Maybe he just has an easier time drinking from a bottle?

Have you considered talking to a LC about latching? And/or, a nipple shield, to mimic the bottle experience a bit? JW . . . but honestly, you got to do what's right for your family. Of course, BM is best, but so is having a healthy sane Mama who isn't so stressed all day (I felt so sad for you when I was reading your post!). You've done your best, given it all, and if the pedi suggests supplementing, then maybe it's something to consider? GL with whatever decision you make, and know that none of us would think of you as a failure!

Junebug060609 · August 2013

@katigox and @martinimomma have some wonderful points. How is he doing for wet diapers?

Know also that there are many of us, myself included, who supplemented some early on and went on to BF for quite awhile. It can happen. And even if it doesn't, as long as he's thriving (be it on formula, BM, or some combination thereof) and you're doing well as well, it's win-win.

((Big hugs)) I remember so vividly feeling like you seem to be feeling...thinking no way was I making enough and that I must be letting him down in some way. It is so freaking hard...physically, emotionally, mentally. I truly hope that things turn a corner for you soon.

JulyMomma2U2 · August 2013

He has a wet diaper every time I nurse, hence why I never thought we were having issues. He also has a dirty diaper probably 90% of all diapers I change... Not a huge stool, but almost always at least something.

Junebug060609 · August 2013

JulyMomma2U2 said:
He has a wet diaper every time I nurse, hence why I never thought we were having issues. He also has a dirty diaper probably 90% of all diapers I change... Not a huge stool, but almost always at least something.

Those are really good signs.

GL at your appt today. Let us know what the pedi says.

SandiaPinaMama · August 2013

I had supply issues with my first. 1. Supplementing isn't the end of BF. Our issues were until 4 mos, and then we EBFed until he was 16 mos. 2. Get thee to a LC! Do not pass go, do not collect $200. That is the key to fixing these problems. I got a referral from my MW when my pedi wouldn't write me one. My insurance covered it all. 3. Go over to kellymom.com and read up on galactogogues, and also to see if you are accidentally taking something that harms supply. 4. Pump after every feeding until you've gone 2 minutes without a single drop.

What worked for me was pumping after every feeding, supplementing after every feeding, 5 cups daily of mothers milk tea, fenugreek pills, and prescription Reglan. It took a month to fix. I could not have fine it without my LC. GL!

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