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birth mom!

ElreidElreid member
in Adoption
Hi! my name is Emily and I am a birth mother to a sweet baby girl named Karly. She was adopted because her birth father and I were in college and unable to take care of her and give her everything that I would want to be able to give a child. Her birth father is no longer in the picture, making me even more happy that I placed her with the perfect family and she is a happy and growing little girl. It is an open adoption and I am so excited to see her soon. She is no longer a baby anymore and this will be my first time seeing her as a toddler. It might break my heart a little to know that my first baby is no longer a baby. Since I have had her I have continued school, not finished yet, took a break and I have no idea what I am wanting to do with my life.(I was going for elem. edu. and realized that is one of the worst fields to go into in illinois right now.) I am blessed now to be a stay at home mom! It is now almost 3 years later and I am pregnant with my first baby boy--with a loving and caring (very excited) father to be :) Are there any other birth moms on here? I have not found any other sites with support for birth mothers. mostly just for parents looking to adopt. I feel that the adoptions now are always looked at from the parent point of view instead of the birth parents. if any of the parents looking to adopt have any questions about a birthmother's side of adoption feel free to ask :) (I am not a professional, but i'll do my best.)  Hope all of the parents looking for adoptions are having the best of luck and to all of the birth mothers-remember that you are not losing a child but you are gaining a family that loves you for the selfless gift you have given them! My favorite quote that a friend told me when I was pregnant was "A birth mother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart" It helped me through every appointment, sonogram and the birth process with Karlys mom in the room standing right beside me as her daughter entered the world.She was the best gift either of us have ever received. 
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Re: birth mom!

  • irismorningirismorning member
    Welcome to the board! There are a few birth moms on here we involve all members of the triad.

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

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  • IRRIRR member
    Welcome, yes there are at least 3 other BM's on this board and I am sure they will chime in at some point.
    image

    Failed Matches - December 2012, May 2013, December 2013
    Moved on to  gestational surrogacy with a family friend who is our angel and due 7/23/15


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  • MayDayGirlMayDayGirl member
    That is my favorite quote too!! Welcome!
    Married on 3.20.2004. It took 30 month, 2 failed adoptions and IVF for our first miracle. We have had 9 foster kids since he was born and started the domestic adoption process when he was 10 month old, we had 4 failed matches in that time. After our daughter was born we brought her home and spent 2 weeks fearing we might lose her because of complications that came up. But Praise God all went through and she is ours forever! Expecting again after IVF Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers image
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  • dholsappdholsapp member
    Welcome!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    TTC since June 2009
    01/10- Femara
    03/10- Femara
    07/2010- Clomid with injectables and IUI #1
    08/2010- IUI #2
    06/2011- IVF #1 BFP!
    09/2011- Miscarriage at 10 1/2 weeks
    11/2011- FET
    01/2012- Start Home Study process
    03/2012- Home Study approved and now waiting on our child to find us!
    07/2012- matched with a BM who is due in October!
    11/10/12- our son is born!
    11/13/12- court grants us custody!
     12/28/12- finalization! Always ours in our hearts, but.now also ours forever

                           

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                     http://keepingupwiththejoneses-dana.blogspot.com/

     
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  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    It's wonderful to hear from a birth mom. I'm currently matched with a (very!) expectant mother and we're all anxiously awaiting the birth of her son. It's been a truly amazing relationship so far and I can't even express how grateful I've been to know her through it. Welcome!
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • orange1414orange1414 member
    Welcome! As others said, all members of the triad are here. I was adopted as an infant, and now I'm trying to adopt.
    Trying to grow our family with both fertility treatments and adoption since March 2009 
    IUIs#1-4 = BFN, IVF#1 = c/p, IVF#2 = OHSS, FET#1=BFP
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  • ElreidElreid member
    I forgot to say that I am also adopted and am hoping to adopt a sweet baby in the future. I would love to be on all sides of the triad. It's a very unique situation and I think it has made me a better person : thank for all the support and replies!
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  • joyebelljoyebell member

    My family went on to adopt 3 years after my relinquishment. I'm sorry but it's very painful to know you weren't worth the struggle but a stranger now is. Hard to wrap your head around much less your heart.

     

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  • ElreidElreid member
    I had a hard time with this within my own adoption. My birth mom had a baby a year after me and kept him and now has two beautiful kids and a loving husband. I guess my situation is different because my birth father and my moms husband are two totally different people. I placed my daughter for adoption to save her from the hatefulness and horrible family life she would have. She's in a loving family and has more than I could ever have provided for her. Now that it's three years later I'm in a wonderful relationship, financially stable and happy. Sometimes the circumstances are the reason for the adoption...it's never the child. I love my little girl more than I could have ever thought possible and I'm so blessed to have her in my life. Hopefully someday she gives me the chance to explain the reasons for my placement and how much I love her
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  • KariB509KariB509 member
    I'm totally lurking. Love to read other boards and I have a friend who is in the first phase of the adoption process, so I take a special interest in this board. I've never posted on this board but your post really moved me. Brought tears to my eyes. You did a wonderful, beautiful thing and I have so much respect for birth mothers. My friend's husband can't have children but they would make amazing parents and I'm so happy there are selfless women like you.
    Anniversary
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker   image

    ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Kari~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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  • agradiagradi member
    I'm glad to see a fellow BM on here finally!!! I've been lurking for weeks, trying to cope myself and I'm having one hell of a time. It's only been a few days since I gave birth to what seems to be the biggest and best thing I've ever done in my life. I am in a similar situation that you were in when you placed your daughter, her father is in school and we both wait tables. I have wanted nothing but the best for her since I found out I was pregnant, he wanted me to abort... Now, he has stood beside me throughout the process and has been here for me, since my family isn't exactly supportive... I'm just scared that maybe we made a rash decision. I know she is going to have an amazing life with her new parents... I guess I just need support from other birth moms on how you got through it.
    Sorry I rambled through all that...
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  • irismorningirismorning member
    I am also adopted and I adopted two wonderful little boys. This is a great group of people.

    Mother of two wonderful boys! Blessed through adoption.

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  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    Welcome agradi.  You made a super hard decision and I'm sorry your family isn't being supportive, but I'm glad the birth father is.  I hope you find some support here.  I'm an adoptive mom and just (Monday) welcomed home a baby from an amazing birth parent. We have a close relationship with her and hope that she will be able to see her baby grow up and find peace in her decision to place.  I know that the support she has from family and friends is paramount for her right now. If you are working with a lawyer or an agency, I encourage you to ask them to direct you to counseling-- -it should be easily available at little expense to you! It might be a good way for you to find that extra support, in addition to the support you get from your boyfriend.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • agradiagradi member
    The agency we are working with thankfully provides counseling for life and I have thoroughly utilized that the last few days.
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  • maryoosamaryoosa member
    I'm so glad to hear that agradi. I cannot imagine how tough this is- I have no context for it- but I'm glad you feel supported, by your boy friend and agency.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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