Let's talk leaving the baby......

JBDamonM · July 2013

I wonder if I am going to get flamed for that topic!

I don't mean it negatively. I'm just curious.

- Who's left the baby with a babysitter (for a night out not to go to work) other than family?

- Who's left the baby overnight?

I'm in a pickle. Next Sat I have a bachelorette and DH has the matching bachelor party.....He's pushing me to leave LO with his mom. I don't think she is ready. She typically wakes up once a night and lately has been up for a while when this happens. There is the occasional STTN - but this is not the norm. I have to ask myself if DH even knows that she wakes up once at night to be so keen on pushing this idea. Second - she takes the boob at night. While I know we could practice with a few bottles during MOTN feedings between now and then, I truthfully feel guilty.

It's also my bday Saturday. I would LOVE to go out for Suishi... but feel bad leaving her knowing what's on tap next weekend. Now that I'm back at work, I feel like our time together is so limited, I feel as though I need to space out nights out - times with sitters- is that ridiculous?

-As for the overnighter - I mentioned in a PP that we have a wedding in Septmeber. 3 hours away all weekend. I'm really looking forward to it but am a but nervous - definietely going to need to get LO used to bottles in the MOTN for that. Although I am kind of hoping we're STTN at that point. I am also a little bummed about this because I think she'll be on formula at that point. Oddly enough - this makes me sad. I've not enjoyed BFing - but now that it's gotten so much easier I"m not as excited about the finish line as I once thought I would be.... I really just want my damn boobs to inflate!

JBDamonM · July 2013

boobs to deflate---- oh dear god. NO MORE inflation!

ChicagoBroad26 · July 2013

We get out as often as our schedules allow it. We haven't left her overnight yet but that's more a function of it being more difficult to ask our parents to do an overnight with her still waking multiple times, plus I'm bf'ing. In your situation, I would go for sushi this weekend AND go overnight next week, as long as she is good with a bottle and you can bring your pump.

JSS1002 · July 2013

We haven't left him overnight yet, but that is only because my mom had somethign come up a few weekends ago when she was supposed to take him overnight so that we could go to a wedding and spend the night. She is taking him overnight on 8/9 so that we can go to the Vikings game, sleep in, and have a night to ourselves. I can't wait! We've only left him with my mom and with DH's cousin as a babysitter -- thought I definitely want to find another sitter that we trust who we can call upon from time to time.

I am a little weird in that it didn't bother me at all to leave LO for the night. I had a few tears at daycare the first few days, and I had some anxiety leaving him with DH's cousin, but mostly I enjoyed the break. It isn't that hard for me to be at work away from him either. Sometimes I feel like this makes me a bad mom - I read all this stuff about sobbing and hearts breaking at leaving LO for the day, and I'm just not like that.

We are planning to go away on a little vacation mid-October to celebrate our wedding anniversary and I'm hoping that my parents will take him for a few days.

smiles21866 · July 2013

I've left LO overnight with my sister and mom. I FF though. It was so hard for me to leave him because I am a SAHM. Everything went well and because I can trust my mom and sister 100%, it made it a tad easier. It was a much needed time for my DH and I. Kinda rekindled us again

none5 · July 2013

MIL asked to take her overnight this weekend, but when we got back after just a few hours the other day DD was screaming and inconsolable. Same thing happened the next night when I went to yoga for an hour and a half. How am I supposed to leave her there overnight when they can't calm her down? (It's because they like to keep her up and play instead of putting her to bed when she is tired) We are planning a long weekend away this fall, but I am afraid to book it because of the situations mentioned above. That all being said, I say go on both. You deserve it. We all do.

AllyP10 · July 2013

I've left the baby with my best friend so that DH and I could go on a date. And I've actually already left him for a weekend with my MIL. DH and I were both in a wedding about 2 hours away from MIL's house. I cried for a while when we dropped him off, but it got better as the day went on. And I'm thankful for facetime and the ability to send pictures because that really is the only thing that got me through the weekend.

teddib20 · July 2013

I'm not ready to do overnight yet, not even close. But we've done a night out to a wedding before... neither of us drank and we were home by 10. It also happened to be on a Sunday night though so we had to be up for work the next day anyways.

I feel guilty leaving her with a sitter when I go to work, I can't imagine something that I choose to go to... for now. I'm sure it'll change when she's a little older.

It also doesn't help that there are limited people that I trust leaving her with.... I don't trust my MIL AT ALLLLLL, probably won't until Emma is 10. Lol... my parents are OOT and there are limited friends I trust too. The one friend I do trust just had a baby on Friday so I don't want to burden her with mine.

lilbit0910 · July 2013

I have left LO overnight a few times already. She sleeps through the night and my MIL watches her. The first time i left her it was weird. But the next few times i was just fine. Take all the help you can get. You deserve it.

Gpwmom · July 2013

In your situation I would do both, your birthday dinner and the bachelor and bachelorette parties. One, it will feel good to get out. And once you can relax you will have tons of fun. Two,
Leaving LO with gramma over night is fine, I am sure she is more than capable of getting up during the night if needed. Some kids don't sleep through the night until age 2, can you imagine never leaving them for 2 years? We have left LO with a sitter already and after about the first 30-40 min I can relax and enjoy myself. Be honest with the babysitter as what to expect (before the night out) and if she isn't comfortable she will tell you. I saw do it!! Go out and enjoy yourself. And, going out two Saturdays in a row isn't a terrible thing, just probably don't go out every Saturdays from now on hahahah

Lhyacinth888 · July 2013

Haven't left DD overnight yet. Only time she has had a sitter was a few weeks ago for about two hours by my mom while DH and I went to Home Depot. My mom, who has had four children called and said she had been crying the entire 2 hours we were gone and that maybe we should head home. DD is a fussy one!

arschm02 · August 2013

We have left Will overnight... Actually for the weekend. It went better Han expected for both of us. I do understand what you mean about feeling guilty though. The weekend away was when I was still on maternity leave and knew I had weeks left to spend with him. Now I feel bad leaving him for any amount of time on the weekends because I get so much less time during the work week.

pinottoparenthood · August 2013

JSS1002 said:

I am a little weird in that it didn't bother me at all to leave LO for the night. I had a few tears at daycare the first few days, and I had some anxiety leaving him with DH's cousin, but mostly I enjoyed the break. It isn't that hard for me to be at work away from him either. Sometimes I feel like this makes me a bad mom - I read all this stuff about sobbing and hearts breaking at leaving LO for the day, and I'm just not like that.

Same here... I don't think it's weird. I went back to work when DS was six weeks, and I had some anxiety, but overall I was fine. I will say that I was super excited to see him every day after school, but I was never crying about leaving him. I left him with my MIL one evening to go to a wedding and I had such a great time with DH and our friends that I barely even thought about the baby, but we did leave early and again I was really excited to see him when we got home.

I don't think anyone should feel guilty or like a bad mom for taking a little time out for herself as long as the baby is safe and in good hands. I know some people can't help but feel anxious or sad, but I also think that some people may sometimes exaggerate these feelings because they think they're "supposed to" feel that way about leaving LO. I say if you're going to do it, you might as well enjoy yourself! What's the point of getting all dressed up and finding someone to keep your baby and going out if you're going to be worried and unhappy the whole time? But if you're really not comfortable leaving LO yet, then don't! Haters gonna hate; you have to do what is best for you.

I haven't left DS overnight yet, but I will in Sept for a bachelorette party (I am a bridesmaid). I know he will be in good hands with my husband, even if I do have to spend a lot of time hooked up to the pump.

MsAmeera25 · August 2013

Reading these responses make me feel guilty....I've left LO overnight several times. We went to a wedding when he was 6 weeks and he stayed over night with Gma and we also went on a weekend trip for our anniversary and a cruise to Jamaica for hubby's birthday. I guess the only person I feel comfortable leaving him with is with my mom or MIL but if they want him. I'm all about packing a bag and taking a break, they are an extension of me and I know he is in good hands.

hatroopes · August 2013

Yea, I'm feeling a little guilty too as we have left her overnight a couple of times. Both times were with my parents - we dropped her off and she wasn't even STTN yet at that point...ooops! The first time was at 6 weeks for my birthday and the next time was around 10 weeks for a date night.

My mom has been pushing me to let her spend the night again, but now that I'm back at work and only get to spend a few hours with her on weekdays I don't anticipate leaving her overnight again for a while. Our weekends and nights are priceless these days

JBDamonM · August 2013

Thanks for the insight ladies!

I've decided to go ahead and leave her with my MIL overnight next Saturday. (as long as DH is still on board which I am sure he is) MIL has 5 kids -s he's done this before, and she took one of my nephews for an entire weekend - and all he did was cry. This will be fine....and besides I do think it's good practice for September.

As for Saturday - I decided to tell DH to get suishi to go and we'll sit on our deck and enjoy it. I made the decision for two reasons. 1- we have limited babysitters right now and I don't want to overburden them 2- My biggest complaint all summer has been that summer is passing me by as DD can't be in the sun etc. So rather than go sit inside at a restaurant that's ntohing special - we'll sit on our deck and enjoy the beautiful weather that's forecasted.... And DH is on duty all night. Mama Bear (as I so gracefully have nicknamed myself) is going to spend the night with her long lost friend WINE - and I'm doing it guilt free. He's getting pushed into the deep end and is going to handle bed time - without my boob!

lyankowi · August 2013

I agree I hate to even think about leaving LO on the weekends because I work. I only work part time but want to spend all weekend with the baby. Trust me I severely need a hair cut and DH promised me a movie night but can't bring myself to leave LO with a babysitter even more.

Let's talk leaving the baby......

Re: Let's talk leaving the baby......

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