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Making it easier on caregivers

AyrekaAyreka member
in High-Risk Pregnancy
I'm one week into bed rest and I am still dealing with a lot of anxiety. I feel so guilty that everyone is taking care of me and my kids constantly. My sister is here all day while my hubs works and then my hubs does everything at night. I know they all love me and baby to be but I feel like such a burden. I keep finding myself getting up more than I should because I hate to boss everyone around and ask for stuff constantly.

How does everyone deal with these feelings and do you do anything special to give your significant others a break or make them feel loved?

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Re: Making it easier on caregivers

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  • FucahweFucahwe
    This just made me cry bc I completely understand! (and bc everything makes me cry) I'm only at 9 weeks but bc of bp issues, Ive been on bed rest, going on a week now. My husband is working 80 hour weeks, so for him to come home and make dinner/look after the kids? :( and my 12 year old is being way older than 12, helping out with the littles and cleaning and even cooking! I feel worthless. :(
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  • KimCousinoKimCousino member
    I feel like a huge pain in the ass! We are very blessed to have wonderful family willing to help with our kids and so many meals have been dropped off. I get up more often than I should as well to do small things but I hate being useless. DH is self employed and works his butt off everyday for us, I hate him coming home to more work.
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  • FucahweFucahwe
    wallace323 said:

    I can only speak personally, but I love taking care of my partner and I finally feel like I'm able to give back to her when she really needs me. I don't know if it's a different perspective when you are a male, but I am so proud of her for keeping our baby safe by doing what the doctors need her to do even when it's hard and honestly I would feel even worse if I knew she was worrying about things she didn't need to.

     

    I think keeping the line of communication open is important. I don't think it's a bad thing when she tells me "this is hard for me" or "could you please do this, or get me that." I know we have had long talks about how hard it is for her to not be as involved as she wants, but we both know that we need the baby and her to be healthy.

     

    I can only imagine how you feel, but just try to take a deep breathe and know that your family wouldnt help if they didnt want to! Definitely also let your partner know that it's okay for them to have "them time," I know I never want to leave the house now when I get home from work, but last week I was able to for a short time and it was nice to just get that recharge!

    Will you marry me? :)
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  • AyrekaAyreka member
    Fucahwe said:

    wallace323 said:

    I can only speak personally, but I love taking care of my partner and I finally feel like I'm able to give back to her when she really needs me. I don't know if it's a different perspective when you are a male, but I am so proud of her for keeping our baby safe by doing what the doctors need her to do even when it's hard and honestly I would feel even worse if I knew she was worrying about things she didn't need to.

     

    I think keeping the line of communication open is important. I don't think it's a bad thing when she tells me "this is hard for me" or "could you please do this, or get me that." I know we have had long talks about how hard it is for her to not be as involved as she wants, but we both know that we need the baby and her to be healthy.

     

    I can only imagine how you feel, but just try to take a deep breathe and know that your family wouldnt help if they didnt want to! Definitely also let your partner know that it's okay for them to have "them time," I know I never want to leave the house now when I get home from work, but last week I was able to for a short time and it was nice to just get that recharge!

    Will you marry me? :)
    Me next :)


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  • 24karat24karat member
    Its normal to feel this way but as others have said, your primary job is to take care of your precious baby now. Its not easy work! I found it hard to accept the help around the house/with DD and had moments where I felt like I was a failure. BUT it was all worth it to have my twins born full term and healthy after nearly 3 months of BR. Hang in there!

    Call up a friend to come spend a day/evening with you so DH can have some time off to do something for himself. It can be a great help for him and lift your spirits at the same time. I had to almost force my DH to do that since he felt like he was abandoning me.
    J13 May Siggy Challenge: People lacking in common sense raise my blood pressure.
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    DD 8/11 | DS1 7/13 | DS2 7/13
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  • GoodMouseBadMouseGoodMouseBadMouse
    Wow, what a guy!
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