Getting out the door with a toddler

blondie10m · August 2013

I am finding that the older DS gets (27 months now), the harder it is to get out the door. When he was a baby, all you had to do is nurse him, get him dressed, and put him in the carseat (there was probably more to that, but now I don't remember that stuff). Now I have to chase him around to do everything. He doesn't want to get dressed or have his diaper changed. Then he wants to watch a show while we get ready (because he refused to stay in his room until 6 am when his toddler clock turns green). Then he threw a fit because the spoons he likes were all dirty and I tried to give him a different one for his yogurt. Then he takes forever eating and eats like 3 bowls of cereal as well (I don't know where he puts it all, he's very thin). Then doesn't want to brush his teeth and doesn't open his mouth so I have to tackle him on the floor to do it. Then I'm trying to put on sunblock and he's running away from me the entire time. While we are on the way to daycare, he pulls off his shoes and socks so I have to put them back on when we arrive. I'm getting later and later to work every day and have another baby on the way. Any tips on getting speedier? Will things ever get better? I try to make everything fun and let him have some choices, but I'm not letting him go to school in PJs, he has to brush his teeth and wear sunblock.

st.augbride · August 2013

I could have written this, except that our baby is already here (dd is now 7 months). It's so hard getting to work at a normal time. I have a meeting tomorrow at 9am and my boss was like "do you think you can make it and be here by then?". sigh..love that reputation! At least they understand. I know not everyone can do this, but dh and I each work from home 2 days per week so that one of us is here 4 days (and sometimes dh is here for the 5th too). The person working from home does the drop-off so that the other can try to get in by a normal time. We also do extra work in the evenings to make up for missed time. It's not easy. I just keep reminding myself that it will get easier over time...

blondie10m · August 2013

He does have breakfast at daycare, but it's a long time for a kid to go to wake up around 5:30 sometimes and not have breakfast until 8:30 so we give him food at home first. I try putting on sunblock while he eats or does other things, brushing his teeth while he watches tv. Doesn't help. He's just a stubborn kid. He thinks it is hilarious to run away from me all the time. A lot of these things would take me one minute or less if he would just cooperate but it takes so much longer with him.

lujain · August 2013

I don't think it's a terrible thing for a kid to go to daycare in PJs, as long as they are appropriate for the weather.
I wouldn't let him watch a show until he is ready to go.
I wouldn't let him eat 3 bowls of cereal either if you are in a rush. Give him 1 bowl, or 2 bowls at the most, and he can eat in the car if he's still hungry.
Does he respond to rewards? DD gets a smiley face on her rewards chart when we finish putting on her sunblock. If she gets enough smiley faces, she gets a treat at the end of the day, and a bigger reward at the end of the week.
Can you get him shoes that he can't remove?
I can relate. Toddlers are not always cooperative!

thedash · August 2013

I would probably put him in time out if he ran away from me on purpose when he knew we needed to do something. It will make you slower on the days you keep stopping to do it but eventually he'll learn.

In the morning I almost only let him eat stuff he can feed himself. He can eat a granola bar, waffle, pear, apple, or banana with a sippy of milk. He sits on my bed or the floor of my room and watches one show while he eats and I get ready. Sometimes he asks for an egg so i scramble it and let him eat it with his hands. I have even given him microwaved sausage links before. He gets a little greasy but I just wash his hands.

I never do an awesome job of morning teeth brushing. It's cursory. He brushes two other times in the day more thoroughly.

My DCP does sunblock but when I say it's time to get a dry diaper and clothes on I mean it. I count to three and if he's not ready to be changed it's time out. To avoid chasing him around I always do this as soon as his show ends so it's part of a routine. I get the outfit ready and I'm standing over him ready to take off his PJ's as the show ends. I now get myself ready in exactly the length of time it takes to watch one Peppa Pig because that's our routine!

I also have another one on the way and will be alone most mornings with the two of them. I'm pretty worried about how much it will upset our system.

Red_Dahlia · August 2013

Breakfast is a huge distraction for my DD. If we get up, throw clothes on, brush teeth, get in the car she's usually good. If we're running late (they stop serving breakfast at DC at a certain time) and I have to feed her at home, it takes another 30-45 minutes, because then she wants to play with her toys, the dog, try to watch tv, eat some more food, etc.

Could you bring your LO their own breakfast to DC, instead of waiting for them to serve? Or let them eat a granola bar in the car on the way there?

laurakaz13 · August 2013

Here's our routine.

- Wake DD up at 6:45. Take pajamas off, change diaper, sunscreen, brush hair and teeth, get dressed, including shoes.

- Downstairs. She gets a sippy of milk and we are in the car.

- Breakfast is served at daycare at 8, but I will give her a banana, crackers or dry cereal for the car ride to tide her over.

I will wrestle her and hold her down if she objects to any of this. No TV allowed in the mornings on weekdays.

jgoetz1 · August 2013

I would say to stick to a routine as much as possible. I get myself ready before DD wakes up, then when I wake her up she knows she gets a diaper and then dressed right away. Then we brush teeth and hair, grab our bag and go. She eats breakfast at daycare. I haven't been back to work yet after getting both kids ready, but we leave the house most mornings at the same time every day so we have a pretty set routine already. DD doesn't always cooperate, but I do what needs to be done quickly and close doors if she tries to run away before getting a diaper for example. I brush her teeth and hair while she's in her high chair still and put on sunblock right away. I let her hold the lid to the sunscreen and it keeps her happy.

Nechie122 · August 2013

If he wakes up at 5:30 and you don't get to daycare till 8:30, it sounds like you might not be managing your own time well. DD pulls plenty of shenanigans in the morning but I build extra time into my routine.

Our schedule sounds similar to yours and our routine works like this:

5:30-6:30: DH and I take turns getting up early with DD, and use that time to try to get her to eat and let her play/use the iPad.

6:30-7: DH hops in the shower; I dress DD.

7-7:45: I get ready while DH eats breakfast and feeds/entertains DD.

7:45-8:15: DH has left by now, and I begin the arduous process of getting DD in the car without a tantrum. Sometimes she surprises me and we're early. Other days not, but there's a cushion.

But, yes, I totally hear you on the terrible twos!

emberlee3 · August 2013

I feel your pain. The only advice I have is keep it simple in the morning. DS gets up at 6 (well, we are working on keeping him in bed until 6). He likes to eat breakfast first, so we let him do that but with a time limit. He gets about 15 minutes for breakfast, with a 5 minute warning. What he doesn't finish after 5 minutes, he can forgo or take to daycare (they can bring breakfast if they get there before 8).

After breakfast, it's clothes, teeth, sunscreen, check backpack. If he is ready early, we read a book or play for a few minutes. We leave at 6:45. He is older than your LO, so he dresses himself (with many reminders) and brushes his own teeth (with supervision). Sunscreen is just a PITA, and I can't wait for fall.

I have considered making a visual chart to keep him on track, but lately things have been going fairly well. DD is usually pretty easy to get ready (for now, anyway).

mariamaria · August 2013

I have no good advice because I'm a hot, hot mess when it comes to getting us out in the morning. I have a dog, too, so that takes extra time. With DS2 here I know my stress in the mornings would triple. It was one of the biggest reason we switched from daycare to a nanny. I go back to work post-maternity leave in a week and I'm hoping the nanny situation makes it slightly smoother.

ByGrace22 · August 2013

It does get better. My five year old gets himself ready then watches a show while he waits for the rest of us. Things are still a struggle with the three year old...some mornings are pretty rough. You are at the worst age, I think. Like you said babies are relatively easy and older kids are easy...that doesn't really help much but at least you know you aren't alone. Quick tips that may help you...spray on sunscreen, eat breakfast in the car or dry cereal only, let him wear his clothes to bed. Seriously, it works for me to have my toddler wear regular clothes to bed thenthats his outfit for the next day. These are gym shorts/tshirt type outfits.

LoCarb · August 2013

Instead of breakfast at home, bring a snack (fruit, oatmeal, yogurt,granola bar with plastic spoon) to daycare for drop off.

Shoes were a problem for us-DD would always take them off. I found if I put her in the car with no shoes on she would throw a fit wanting to wear the shoes. I would put them on in the car and eventually she was able to put them on before leaving and not take them off.

I would continue to try to multi task the sunscreen while he's brushing teeth.

Cut out the TV. I find when the TV is on in the a.m. my kids move slower and don't want to leave bc of a cartoon. No TV=no distraction.

GL!

RedSoxGirl10 · August 2013

I'm going to preface this by saying I'm not a mom (yet), so I completely recognize that my advice will be the more "ideal." I am a teacher, and I find that routine and structure is the absolute best thing you can do for a time of the day you need to move fast. Of course your whole life at home will not be like this, but many parents have told me it is the way to go for a time like the early morning. I hope this helps even a little bit and if it doesn't sound like something that will work for you, just ignore me

One weekend when you have some time, write out the basics of what you want to be done in the morning...

-eat breakfast

-put on clothes

etc

Things that you will need your child to do every day.

Then, go online and get some clip art for each thing. I always type in things like "kid eating breakfast" or "kid getting dressed" and "clip art" so that I can find a cartoon person that looks like a kid

Make your child a visual picture schedule of what needs to be done in the morning. To make it even more fun you can put it on a whiteboard or magnet board and let him move something to show that each task is complete. When he's older he can use a whiteboard marker to check it off.

Once you have this you can take several different approaches. You can see if just the visual schedule helps the situation first. Then, if it's still a struggle (maybe after the initial excitement wears off) you can try as others have said, time out when he doesn't do the things you want, or you can go the route of rewarding for things being done. Maybe if you start the routine early enough, watching a show can be the reward when he is totally ready to go. Or maybe it's a sticker chart with bigger rewards at the end of the week etc. It really depends on your own philosophy how this will work, but I can promise that the picture schedule of what needs to be done will help at least a little even without rewards or punishments. I should also mention it's really helpful (the first few days) you do a lot of praise whenever something is done right. "Wow look how quickly you got your clothes on (or let me put them) you are getting so BIG!" etc. That makes the whole thing more fun.

Keep us updated I hope that some advice you get is helpful. I can't even imagine how stressful it must be to start your day not knowing what time you will get to work. Good luck!

Tink112011 · August 2013

Have you read the book "1-2-3 Magic"? I have found it to be helpful and DS has learned that "mommy means what she says"

I think you need to change your tolerance level. You're putting up with a lot of crap from your LO that could be minimized. I always think about daycare. Do they put up with same quantity of battles from a dozen children? No, because they have rules and the kiddos understand the rules need to be followed. I apply those same expectations at home, especially in the morning when we need to get out the door.

I didnt realize that so many WM's had to apply suncreen in the morning. Now I'm so thankful that daycare does this for us!

*sparky* · August 2013

DS went through a stubborn stage like this. I can't remember where I found it but I remember finding an online video for using positive reinforcement with toddlers to get them to do what you wanted. They are trying to gain some control at that age so if you make it fun or a game and also make them feel like they have control of the situation (even if they really don't) then it goes much more smoothly. It really worked with my DS, although believe me there were mornings it was so hard to be Suzy Sunshine when I felt like pulling my hair out.

If I made things into challenges/races, DS was all about trying to win. So I would get myself ready, except for getting dressed, and then we would have a race to see who could get dressed faster. Things like that. Also positive reinforcement definitely works but at that age my DS really didn't understand the sticker chart - he was into immediate gratification.

GL!

boggs507 · August 2013

blondie10m said:

He does have breakfast at daycare, but it's a long time for a kid to go to wake up around 5:30 sometimes and not have breakfast until 8:30 so we give him food at home first. I try putting on sunblock while he eats or does other things, brushing his teeth while he watches tv. Doesn't help. He's just a stubborn kid. He thinks it is hilarious to run away from me all the time. A lot of these things would take me one minute or less if he would just cooperate but it takes so much longer with him.

My DS wakes up between 5:45-6, I throw either fresh fruit, dry cereal, or a cereal bar with something to drink at him in the car and he eats on the way to daycare. He also won't eat breakfast at DC until 8:30 and he's fine with that. I turn a show of his choosing on for him and let the tv do the wrangling while I get him dressed/brush his teeth. He only gets to watch 5 minutes of it. But I can have him dressed and out the door relatively quickly.

dizzycooks · August 2013

We get DD up at 5:45 after I have showered and then I change her diaper and get her dressed. She then sits in her high chair with DH in the kitchen and snacks on something easy (banana, dry cereal, an egg) while he makes our coffee and breakfast. I come downstairs, toss all of our lunches in the appropriate bags and we leave. I eat in the car and DD is done at that point. She can pitch as big a fit as she wants, we leave and that's the end of it. She eats a bigger breakfast at 8:00 at daycare so mostly this one is just to tide her over.

st.augbride · August 2013

Not sure if it's the case for the OP, but much of the advice here wouldn't help us. We do use time outs, and while they work, they take, well, time! Yes, ds will brush his teeth after a time out, but my stubborn monkey will still try to get out of it the next day. Also, reading everyone's accounts of breakfast reminds me that we are quite alone here. At least for us, ds has feeding issues and getting him to drink his pediasure and eat anything (yogurt/squeeze packet/etc...) takes an hour. And if we didn't do that, he would go all day without eating as he happily eats only maybe 10 crackers and a few sips of juice all day at daycare.

I guess I'm just posting this to say that for some WM of toddlers, getting out at a normal time is truly the impossible task. Though we try every day.

highlights · August 2013

We set out clothes the night before, and do the dressing routine while he's still in bed. TV started to cause drama, so we ended it. If he doesn't eat breakfast in a timely manner, he has to wait until he's at daycare. Call me a terrible person if you will, but we've also had mornings where the tantrums were so much that he missed breakfast completely and had to wait until morning snack (it was only about half an hour).

I've found that our mornings have to have a certain momentum and a huge amount of structure. Sunscreen also happens at daycare, because they'll just need to apply it again after a couple of hours.

I recommend this a lot, but actually sit down and make a list of things that would make your life easier, then implement them.

nosoup4u · August 2013

Here are some things I would do:

I wouldn't brush his teeth if it's a huge battle right now, in all honesty. I think nightly is fine (unless he has some dental issues). Or even just don't do it for a few weeks to make it a more "neutral" aspect of getting ready.

Can you let him ride in the car with no shoes? That would save a step.

Do you encourage him to get himself dressed/ready/etc? Sometimes giving them the task and then walking away works better than being with them for every step. 2.5 is young, but he could definitely start putting on pants (or shoes!) by himself. Or even just choosing what to wear (even if it's a choice of two different things) may help him.

I don't agree with people who are talking time outs and sticker charts - TO has never worked with my kids, and your DS is too little for sticker charts. I made a bedtime routine book for DS2 when he was a bear about getting ready for bed - take pics of the kid doing everything in the routine, and then get it laminated and bound at a copy shop. It might be helpful to read that at night or something. And I wouldn't use TV as a distraction, my kids become zombies around it, too.

iverske9 · August 2013

I will get up earlier and wake LO up earlier if I absolutely have to get somewhere on time. I try to do the things I can the night before like packing lunches, stuff for work in car. As for chasing I do not chase him, when it comes to getting dressed honestly I just do it even if he tantrums. As for slow eating I will give him 20 mins after that that is it, although I will make sure there are enough snacks for school so if he gets hungry they will give him but the only thing I can do for sure is wake us up earlier if I have to be somewhere.

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