Working Moms
HELP! First pregnancy, new job!
I recently accepted a full-time position with my local city government--taking an office job in one of the departments--and last week I went in for my pre-employment screening. Only I wasn't thinking about anything other than the HPT I took that morning--completely on a whim, no expectations, just literal boredom--which screamed positive. Two days ago I went to my OB-GYN and found out we are 5-6 weeks along. I haven't told my parents (devout, traditional Catholic ... Even though I'm late-20's, this news will still devastate them, I'm certain of it) and now I'm ALSO stressed about telling my new employer who I haven't even had a medical screening from yet and who is known for taking its sweet time about moving along with the hiring process. It could literally be another month before I get called back for a medical screening! I have NO idea of when to tell this new job, or even when I will start working for them ... And I am terrified that I will lose this job because of my unexpected pregnancy--I have been seeking full-time work for over 5 years since college. "Panic" is the word I feel best that describes my situation right now and I truly have no idea what to do or what to say or when... To my parents OR my employer! Please, any help would be much appreciated!
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Re: HELP! First pregnancy, new job!
I'm assuming that you're not married? Don't stress too much about your parents, many other Catholic parents have survived this type of news and still love their daughters and grandchildren (I'm sure there are exceptions to this rule but lets ignore those bastards).
Don't tell work until you have too, do you have to declare it on the Medical Sceening? Why should you? Is it a manual job?
Good luck! Take one day at a time and everything will work out.
As far as your employer, no need to share until you are comfortable and for most it is after 12 weeks. Depending on the type of screening, if they specifically ask on a form or if it's important to disclose because of let's say an x-ray I'd base my decision on that.
Are you not married? Is that why your parents will be devastated? Do you live with them?
You're in your late 20's, you're a big girl, so I'd just tell them when you're ready. I don't see how this news should impact them really.
As for your parents, that is up to you. I would wait until at least 12 weeks.
Seriously...this was me two years ago. I got a job with a municipality and three days before I started I found out I was pregnant. I asked my SIL (HR Exec for a large company) what to do, and she said wait until after your first trimester...that's when you're out of the woods for most cases of miscarriage, etc. and when most people tell friends or not as close family about pregnancy. So I did, and my group is very family oriented and friendly, and baby happy, so they were very accommodating and all around great about helping me figure out my benefits, and making sure things worked out for me. So it may not be as bad as you think it will be.
All the best!
As for my parents -- My boyfriend and I moved in together over the weekend in a house he is in the process of purchasing from family, and we told my parents a month ago this was our plan (and apparently at this point, I was just DAYS pregnant): dad surprised me with his "you're an adult, this isn't what we want for your life but you can make your own decisions" speech... My mother, on the other hand, absolutely lost it. As did my older sister. They did the same when my brother moved in with his then-girlfriend-now-wife and when after marriage they announced they were pregnant for the first time, my mom said "well at least they did ONE thing the right way!" I honestly, though, can't see my parents taking this as lightly as my dad took the move-in news: a baby is a bigger deal than a house. I truly haven't practiced Catholicism in almost 10 years but they have never been stronger in their faiths, I swear ... And my sister is practically a nun, literally. Spent time in the convent and everything. So for me to break their hearts with telling them I'm willingly "living in sin" and then to have to turn around and tell them I willingly "concieved in sin" will just destroy them. Everyone says they will get over it, but it will be a very traumatic experience telling them the news.
It is understandable to be weary of their reaction but you have to take a step back and realize that now your going to be a mother and your family comes first. I was raised catholic so I can understand why they would be upset but in the end they will get over it. I say pull off the band aid and tell them.
Congrats on the baby and the job.