Blended Families

BM vent

SS got seriously hurt today at summer school and of course bc BM is a piece of work she wouldn't answer the schools calls.

Finally they decided to call Dh who picked SS up immediately and went and took SS to the ER.

When Dh finally got a hold of Bm he said she was completely silent and just said "ok" a few times. Didn't come to the ER at all.

This is the same woman who when she's not high as a kite calls SS her baby and insists he goes to the hospital for the tiniest scratch from our dog.

Coparenting with a junkie is a freaking joke
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Re: BM vent

  • Hope your SS is okay. I had a small amount of experience coparenting with a junkie, although I hesitate to call it that because I wasn't married to the BD.

    It's tough and never easy but thank goodness you have a DH who will step up.
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  •  When Dh finally got a hold of Bm he said she was completely silent and just said "ok" a few times. 

    I hope her silence is due to some common sense and remorse flooding her system.  Maybe this will be a wake-up call for her.  

    I hope everything is ok with SS.  I'm glad the school was able to get a hold of DH so that he could take care of SS.  Keep us updated!
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  • jobalchak said:
     When Dh finally got a hold of Bm he said she was completely silent and just said "ok" a few times. 

    I hope her silence is due to some common sense and remorse flooding her system.  Maybe this will be a wake-up call for her.  
     


    I'm guessing because she didn't answer and didn't show up at the hospital that she was in no shape to be around SS and other people.

    @nineoceans I hope your SS is ok, thank goodness your DH was able to go get him.

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  • Wow -  stories like this make me so glad I was able to adopt my SK's.  I can't believe some of the stuff you ladies have to deal with.  Hugs.  I don't have any advice but sending you many T&Ps.
  • I hope SS's okay, keep us updated, and T&Ps your way. I'm sorry BM is a joke :/.
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  • Thanks guys SS is ok, no stitches just surgical glue! He actually fell out of the emergency exit of the school bus because the driver was new and went over a bump too fast AND he was standing up in his seat so he kind of got tossed out of his seat it was a perfect (terrible?) storm.

    His face looks awful because he hit the emergency exit face first ugh. Of course he DENIES he was standing up but that's another story for another day

    Anyways, zero word from BM. Dh had texted her pictures of the injury and the doctor's advice about how to care for the injuries and she said NOTHING back at all.

    Honestly, whatever, how you parent your child is your business but this woman has everyone snowed that she is PTA, home room monitor, volunteer of the year mom. She puts on this amazing show so everyone at the school hates us. Believe me, I'm sure the principal was SICK when she realized she actually had to call Dh because you know he is the biggest meanest jerk in the entire world

    I just wish she would admit she has a problem, get the help she needs and stop pretending she's something she's not.

    I'm also in the back of my mind waiting for her to take us to court saying SS was injured on "our time" and citing this as an example bc Dh is the one who picked him up. Isn't it crazy I have to worry about that stuff??! We have the worst judge in the world though so I could see Bm spinning this into something totally different.

    When SS got bit by our neighbor's dog (Bm's friend) I had them write a quick statement that it was their dog as in the past Bm has reported our dog to quarantine hoping to have him euthanized over little scratches. The whole thing just sucks.
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  • Can I also just add that we added it to the CO that she would maintain a working cell phone bc her not answering happens A LOT.

    When I reported her to children's services six months ago for some other very serious stuff the worked told me ON THE PHONE there's no way Bm is using drugs if she is volunteering at school and they are most likely not going to look into it because its a custody thing and I was clearly biased. Um. Ok. Maybe you should actually investigate before making your own calls. Or maybe you should take into consideration she missed her mandatory drug test even when she was reminded the day of by Dh and our attorney and Dh paid all the fees so you know people who are sober would typically just go take the test. Whatever.

    Anyways sorry for the vent it is so embarrassing to talk about this stuff to other people but I know most of you guys can commiserate
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  • I would be seriously considering asking the principal to continue trying to get in touch with BM to notify her directly what happened because she is not responding to you.
    Jen - Mom to two December 12 babies Nathaniel 12/12/06 and Addison 12/12/08
  • SigirSigir member
    wow. that really sucks, I didn't know your background. Is there any value in having a meeting with the principal to set the record straight about your dh and share some of your side of the story? Or is the principal too far into your BMs pocket. It would seem the school would not want a drug addict working w kids as a liability issue.
  • That is crazy - and so scary!Glad SS is OK.

    Does the school have a copy of the CO?  I mean, mandatory drug testing should be a red freaking flag!  So should not answering when SS is hurt.  When we had skids for summer camp, each day at sign in I wrote our number down because SD would give them BM's number, and BM would not answer.  SD was finally truly sick (not faking sick) and they called me - not DH (whose number I wrote down every day, who is her father, who was at home unemployed) - and when I told them to call DH were huffy.  They have never met BM, she has zero involvment in activities in our area and STILL they had that attitude. 

    It's pervasive, and it sucks.

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  • Sigir said:

    wow. that really sucks, I didn't know your background. Is there any value in having a meeting with the principal to set the record straight about your dh and share some of your side of the story? Or is the principal too far into your BMs pocket. It would seem the school would not want a drug addict working w kids as a liability issue.

    Bm's mom works for the school but we've tended to take the road of anyone who can look at Bm and think she's truthful or even ok is not someone whose opinion we care about. Probably the wrong way to go but BM weighs mayyyyyybe 80 pounds and is 5'9 if you didn't know she had a drug problem you would at the least think she had serious anorexia or something seriously mentally wrong with her. But you know it's the pink elephant in the room that no one brings up but Dh and I.

    2chatter they have a copy of the CO and the emergency order when we got emergency custody bc BM failed to show for a drug screen but its a good idea to maybe give them all the paperwork. It's all so embarrassing I kind of dont want anyone to associate us with BM and all this
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  • I hear you.  I try to hide how effed up my exh is from all schools, unless they need to know.  It was not fun when I had to warn them he was drinking, then they called me to tell me he smelled of alcohol, was slurring and they RELEASED DD TO HIM.  I felt dirty through the whole insane process.  I feel dirty even recounting the story.  I was not raised to act like my ex, I do not raise my children to act that way, I do not act that way.  I feel like no matter what, his insanity reflects on me.  When he tells other parents things like "Well, I don't have a place to live right now, but when I do it would be great to have your daughter over for a play date" I cringe.  I am very,very nervous as a result of our move....I had kind of gone through all the questions, answers, divorce insanity with the schools, coaches, etc..  Now I have whole new sets of people.  BM's mom cannot "untell" the stories those documents tell, nor can she "explain them".  The school needs to understand what is in SS' best interest; that is engaging DH more, not less. 

    For your situation, I would absolutely provide more detail to the school, especially in the form of legal documents. 

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