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Losing hope, looking for encouragement
Hi all - I've been a lurker here for a little while, but never posted before. Brief synopsis - 2 bio kids 10 & 8 years old. Fertility issues, complicated deliveries, stillbirth at 20 weeks. Hubby & I were licensed as foster parents and had a horrific experience due to lack of info from case worker (we were not capable of caring for the child's medical and emotional needs). Later, we decided to try domestic adoption to grow our family. Have been with an agency for 2 1/2 years - matched 3 times (1- expectant mom decided to parent less than a week after match and still 8 weeks before birth, 2 - expectant mom had a stillbirth at 29 weeks, 3 - matched for 3 months, in-person visit, emails/phone calls and we were able to be at hospital a few hours after birth, she ultimately decided to parent). We are first on the "wait list" if any expectant mother decides she can't choose adoptive parents and have been for 6 months.
We were originally told our 2 year contract, plus up to 6 months of extension was all they offer (we are completely open to race or gender, mild drug use, and open adoption, able to offer an additional $4500 of birthmother expenses). We were given an "estimate" of 6-15 months originally due to our level of openness. Obviously, that's long gone. Our 6 months of extension is up August 31st. No one has every promised us a baby, but at first meeting in 2010 they said that 98% are placed within 2 years. I asked what happens to the other 2% and was told they either find a baby another way (secondary agency, through a friend, etc) or decide adoption is not for them. We don't fall into either of those categories. Can't afford to start over with another agency (have paid out $18,000 in adoption related expenses).
Here's my question - what are some of the "long" wait times you are aware of for people that turned out with a happy ending? We will be contacting the agency in early August to discuss our options (having to quit, extending further)....small additional monetary amounts are doable and the time is not a problem for us. Looking for a similar story to ours that does end up with a happy ending.
Blessings to you all on your journeys
We were originally told our 2 year contract, plus up to 6 months of extension was all they offer (we are completely open to race or gender, mild drug use, and open adoption, able to offer an additional $4500 of birthmother expenses). We were given an "estimate" of 6-15 months originally due to our level of openness. Obviously, that's long gone. Our 6 months of extension is up August 31st. No one has every promised us a baby, but at first meeting in 2010 they said that 98% are placed within 2 years. I asked what happens to the other 2% and was told they either find a baby another way (secondary agency, through a friend, etc) or decide adoption is not for them. We don't fall into either of those categories. Can't afford to start over with another agency (have paid out $18,000 in adoption related expenses).
Here's my question - what are some of the "long" wait times you are aware of for people that turned out with a happy ending? We will be contacting the agency in early August to discuss our options (having to quit, extending further)....small additional monetary amounts are doable and the time is not a problem for us. Looking for a similar story to ours that does end up with a happy ending.
Blessings to you all on your journeys
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