XP: Its over (loss mentioned)

emtbd26 · July 2013

Last night was one of the worst nights of my life. I started having terrible cramps and than bleeding heavily!! I luckily was at home and went to the restroom when felt a little different and than it began. I started passing HUGE clots and the pain was so bad! I lost it........cried and cried and cried!!! I called the nurse from the RE office who was on call to let them know what was going on and she said to me well you are probably passing the embryo and to just take it easy! Well I didnt sleep at all and just cried! I feel like my world was crushing below me! Than today had blood drawn and got call from RN that levels had dropped and that it was ending. She said to stop the progestrone and to expect the blood flow to get even heavier. She than said they will recheck in one week to make sure resolved fully on its own and if so than we can proceed to frozen transfer in Sept. I just feel like Sept is SO far away! I did ask her why they never checked my progestrone levels with beta and she said unless taking progestrone orally the labs wouldnt be right! She did offer to have a miscarriage loss panel drawn to look for risk factors for miscarriage...has anyone had this done? I will have to pay out of pocket so I am a little torn! This stuff is all so frustrating!! I just don't understand what I did wrong! Sorry if this post seems all over the place....I am just fully myself today!! Thanks for letting me vent!!!

firesiren · July 2013

I am so sorry. It's so hard, it just happened to me in May. I was devastated. The bleeding is crushing when it starts. ((HUGS)) If you need to talk PM me. Thinking of you.

monimu13 · July 2013

I am so, so sorry for your loss...I unfortunately know how you feel. I did have the RPL panel drawn after my second. I was lucky that all of them (15 tubes of blood) were covered by insurance, otherwise they told me it wouldve been about $4000...but I'm not sure if every RE runs the exact same tests or not. PM if you want to talk, again, I'm very sorry.

mmb248 · July 2013

I am so so sorry you're going through this. You did nothing wrong. These things happen and it sucks, and it's awful, and it is not your fault. Be kind to yourself. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}}

ttuprincess · July 2013

I am so, so sorry you are going through this. My heart breaks for you just reading your post. Like PP said, you did nothing wrong. IF sucks and I am so sorry you are dealing with this. Sending big squishy internet ((hugs)) your way.

ErinSays · July 2013

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Please take care of yourself. September feels like an eternity away, but it will come sooner than you expect!

rox825 · July 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's NOT your fault. Huge hugs to you.

BettyBoop86 · July 2013

I am so sorry this his happening to you!!! sending hugs your way.

shelbeans82 · July 2013

I am so sorry you are going through this. ((Hugs))

NBA0703 · July 2013

I am soo very sorry

ky29 · July 2013

I am so sorry. Take care of yourself, and hugs to you!

ZukiWife · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. Big huge hugs for you! *big bear hug*

mmhopeful · July 2013

There just are no words....I'm so sorry. I pray that your husband can hold you and help keep the pain of crying and shock at bay. Many hugs to you. I hope September will be your time!

katekat8721 · July 2013

I am so sorry sweetie!! ((Hugs))

ksgsmu · July 2013

I am so sorry- I just went through a loss and I know there are no words that can describe the pain. Grieve and take care of yourself. I am so sorry- praying for you.

Milagros315 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss.

Olive925 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. I hope you are feeling better (physically) today. I know it's too soon for the emotional pain to have gone away, but I hope you are finding a way to feel some comfort.

katib77 · July 2013

These next few weeks will be tough both physically and mentally. Know that its not your fault. If you've had multiple loss I know RLP is suggested but I wouldn't do it if this is your first. Sorry I cant see sig since I'm mobile. Take some time to grieve. Sept will be here very soon, tomorrow is Aug. love and hugs.

MikiMouse326 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. It makes me teary eyed! I hope you get your sticky baby soon. I know September is far but it really isn't..... tomorrow is August! I hope you recover fast from this loss. My thoughts are with you.

ccollins06 · July 2013

So sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

Barbedoll78 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. Please know that this is not your fault. Be kind to yourself while you heal, both physically & emotionally. Don't beat up an already broken heart. ((hugs))

SweetTea420 · July 2013

I am so sorry for your loss.

GermanGirl2007 · July 2013

I am so so sorry. Sending you huge hugs. =((

STBMrsMiller · August 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss.

SnowLady1019 · August 2013

I'm sorry! =( It is not your fault. Don't beat yourself up.

MrsN08 · August 2013

I am so, so sorry for your loss. (((HUGS)))

gsancho · August 2013

I'm so sorry...

1Baby4Me · August 2013

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I also felt that it was in some way my fault. Please know you did nothing wrong. I hope sept comes very quickly for you. Sending you big big hugs. Fingers crossed you have your LO in your arms this time next year. Good luck!! ::HUGS::

Akiesha · August 2013

Oh no I am so sorry you are going through this. You didn't do anything wrong so please don't beat yourself up. Sending you some hugs and keeping you in my T & P.

jschwind22 · August 2013

Oh honey. You did NOTHING wrong! NOTHING! It is so, so hard, but sometimes this stuff just happens. Not all embryo's are chromosomal normal and able to develop. After my miscarriage in December, we did NK cell testing, but we did not do the whole loss panel. This is your first loss, right? I know it totally sucks, but now you know that you CAN get pregnant! Now you just have to find the right embryo! Tomorrow is August, so really September is just next month! My RE said that in Europe, the new thing is to freeze all and do a FET later. Some research has shown higher success rates during a FET because your body is much calmer. I am thinking of you, and as always, let me know if there is anything I can do or if you want to GTG and talk. ((hugs))

supermorena · August 2013

I am so sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself.

NJHopeful · August 2013

I am so sorry!!!!! Hope you recover quickly. If the test isn't expensive I would go for it!

chickyclg · August 2013

I am so sorry, I know that no words can cure the pain that you're going through. Take some time for yourself, and find someone to talk to. After my last loss I went to therapist that had been recommended by my OB because she specialized in loss and grief, and it helped a lot. I would look into having a RPL ran, I wish I would have done it after my first loss because it could have prevented the second.