Open letter Wednesdays

SvedkaStoli · July 2013

Ladies, Work has been getting crazier and crazier so I have been MIA. Yesterday I worked a 14 hour day but that is just par for the course. I hope that when the project is over in a few weeks, I will come back to being a contributing member of the community. Let's write those letters!

Dear work,

I love you and I am really happy to be there.

What I don't appreciate is having panic attacks about you bc we are in the 25th hour now.

Love, Anxious me

Dear boss,

I am so flattered that you said you would support me going for a promotion after being just 8 months on the team.

Yours, So grateful and flattered

DH,

This is ridiculous. The doctor said pelvic rest for 2 weeks; yes, I had a bleed but we are fine now. It's been five weeks and if something doesn't happen soon, you will thoroughly regret it.

Yours, Unhappily deprived

SvedkaStoli · July 2013

Sorry about the wall of text! The bump ate my formatting. Trying to fix this.

cpm1223 · July 2013

Dear cranky husband,

I'm sorry that sex wasn't much fun last night but its not my fault that you wanted to do it so late at night and after you had taken Advil pm...how do you expect things to work properly if you're ready to pass out!?! Please get over it and quit being a grump!

Love,

Your (lets have sex earlier today?) Wife

ccip82 · July 2013

cpm1223 said:

Dear cranky husband, I'm sorry that sex wasn't much fun last night but its not my fault that you wanted to do it so late at night and after you had taken Advil pm...how do you expect things to work properly if you're ready to pass out!?! Please get over it and quit being a grump! Love, Your (lets have sex earlier today?) Wife

Lol, he should be thankful he got any...after 9pm I am beat and this shop is closed

ccip82 · July 2013

Dear self,

You really need to get off your ass today and clean your house.

Signed,

Your disgustingly dirty house.

PS...You know you have to clean when your 19 month old walks into the kitchen and excitedly squeals "bubbles" at all the dust bunnies floating in the air...::sigh::

LeannFran · July 2013

This is a mobile bump so I apologize for any funky spellings or layouts!

Dear interviewers,

I will sit down with a handful of you in about 3 hours. While I'm nervous and excited I hope for a couple of things, that you view my passion as exciting, that you fall in love with my personality and finally that you genuinely believe I would be the perfect addition to your building. As a request, please do not try and stump me with outrageous questions that I've never encountered-- I'd hate to try and skim for an answer.

Respectfully,

Hoping to get hired!

Dear self,

Stop stressing about today! You'll do great! You haven't had an interview you haven't nailed and you're very good at what you do. There's no reason to be overly nervous as you have a job! You have a good one! If this new job is closer for you, great! But if you don't land it, it's ok! You don't need it, but make sure you show them what an asset you'll be!

Love you to pieces! You'll do great!
Confident, non-emotional self.

ccip82 · July 2013

@LeannFran

Good luck today at your interview!

ashybear · July 2013

Dear Southwest,

DH flew home from Boston on Monday and it wound up taking him three cancellations, two layovers and 21 hours. Please please please let my flights today be completely uneventful and on time.

Love,
Ashley

forevergraceful · July 2013

LeannFran said:

This is a mobile bump so I apologize for any funky spellings or layouts! Dear interviewers, I will sit down with a handful of you in about 3 hours. While I'm nervous and excited I hope for a couple of things, that you view my passion as exciting, that you fall in love with my personality and finally that you genuinely believe I would be the perfect addition to your building. As a request, please do not try and stump me with outrageous questions that I've never encountered-- I'd hate to try and skim for an answer. Respectfully, Hoping to get hired! Dear self, Stop stressing about today! You'll do great! You haven't had an interview you haven't nailed and you're very good at what you do. There's no reason to be overly nervous as you have a job! You have a good one! If this new job is closer for you, great! But if you don't land it, it's ok! You don't need it, but make sure you show them what an asset you'll be! Love you to pieces! You'll do great! Confident, non-emotional self.

Good luck on your interview!

MrsGraham06 · July 2013

Dear Stomach,

I really enjoyed dinner last night. Can we make that feeling last a little longer? I'd really like to eat breakfast this morning, and lunch...but alas, I'm not sure I will. Get better soon! (as in NOW)

Signed,

Grumpy, hungry but sick to my stomach Mom-to-be

PreDempsey · July 2013

Dear my amazing friend and wonderful new mom, I know having a less than ideal breastfeeding experience broke your heart because you were so excited and LO just couldn't latch. But giving me your barely used pump and what I realized last night was a bag of a ridiculous amount of accessories was more than generous and warmed my heart immensely. Love, your greatful friend AND.. Dear Target, I wrote to you about my shitty glider experience and you need to write back. "Matthew" apologizing on my post on facebook wasn't enough, check your flucking customer feedback.

PreDempsey · July 2013

Hmm.. Bumps not letting me edit after it trashed my spacing so I'm sorry for the brick of words in my above post.

OSUWifey09 · July 2013

LeannFran said:

This is a mobile bump so I apologize for any funky spellings or layouts! Dear interviewers, I will sit down with a handful of you in about 3 hours. While I'm nervous and excited I hope for a couple of things, that you view my passion as exciting, that you fall in love with my personality and finally that you genuinely believe I would be the perfect addition to your building. As a request, please do not try and stump me with outrageous questions that I've never encountered-- I'd hate to try and skim for an answer. Respectfully, Hoping to get hired! Dear self, Stop stressing about today! You'll do great! You haven't had an interview you haven't nailed and you're very good at what you do. There's no reason to be overly nervous as you have a job! You have a good one! If this new job is closer for you, great! But if you don't land it, it's ok! You don't need it, but make sure you show them what an asset you'll be! Love you to pieces! You'll do great! Confident, non-emotional self.

Good luck today!!

bethughknee · July 2013

Dear Kenny Chesney,

While I don't normally find myself attracted to you, your sexy time moves in my dream on Monday night were top notch. Although, it was weird when your face turned into my husband's face about halfway through. It was nice to meet you, even if it was only in my subconscious.

Love,
Sexy Dreamin'

wedbliss5 · July 2013

Dear body-

I know you don't like being pregnant, but we've done this before and you know its not forever. Please quit with this nausea and gagging crap, we'll both be happier if I felt better since you would be getting better nourishment.

Please, please, PLEASE!!!
Self

Dear weekend-
I am ready for you, please come quickly.
Thanks, your tired friend

hopeful808 · July 2013

Dear Dog,

I'm sorry that you managed to get kennel cough from the dog park. However, until you are done with your antibiotics the vet says I cannot play with you or walk you. Please stop acting crazy it's giving me a headache and I don't know if I can do 4 more days of this.

Sincerely,

Owner of a sick but overly active dog

PreDempsey · July 2013

Another for me:

Dear Fellow Bumpies:

I was all excited to try out the new chat room link last night because I can only use it on my home computer.....and then no one was there. Sad face.

Sincerely,

disappointed bumpie

Is there a designated hey let's chat time?

TNgoldengirl · July 2013

Dear Beloved Pets,

I'm so glad after 7 months, you finally find something to bond over. I see you laying next to each other sharing a toy and think that is so sweet until I realize it is a DEAD BIRD in my house. Precious animals, I do NOT approve of the murder of any living creatures, nor coming to chew them up and leave blood stains on my carpet. Mind you, 10 minutes before the floor man comes to measure for new floors, which you better believe are being installed ASAP! This left me little time to freak out and forced me to clean up your awful mess...No ham snacks for you today. And you better not lick me either!

Your irritated, but glad she doesn't get m/s or breakfast would be everywhere, Mom

Dear DD,

Sorry you had to hear mommy yell a few unfriendly words this morning. She was just practicing her French. She does not do well around dead animals. All is well now, but we will be wearing socks and shoes all day and avoiding said areas if carpet.

Love, Mom

2Dash · July 2013

TNgoldengirl said:

Dear Beloved Pets, I'm so glad after 7 months, you finally find something to bond over. I see you laying next to each other sharing a toy and think that is so sweet until I realize it is a DEAD BIRD in my house. Precious animals, I do NOT approve of the murder of any living creatures, nor coming to chew them up and leave blood stains on my carpet. Mind you, 10 minutes before the floor man comes to measure for new floors, which you better believe are being installed ASAP! This left me little time to freak out and forced me to clean up your awful mess...No ham snacks for you today. And you better not lick me either! Your irritated, but glad she doesn't get m/s or breakfast would be everywhere, Mom Dear DD, Sorry you had to hear mommy yell a few unfriendly words this morning. She was just practicing her French. She does not do well around dead animals. All is well now, but we will be wearing socks and shoes all day and avoiding said areas if carpet. Love, Mom

Oh no poor you! My dog sometimes brings dead bunnies to the door as gifts for me - a dead bird in the house terrible!

TNgoldengirl · July 2013

That was my little over dramatic morning, but I really hate that stuff! I'd rather clean up anything else.

MrsGraham06 · July 2013

Fortunately, our cat keeps it all outside. She likes us to see what she caught, so she'll usually make sure we're home when she gets a mouse.

I would much rather that she eat the mice than the mice get into the house. We live in the country, and mice are definitely an issue (I hate them in the house!).

jamiecal · July 2013

Dear 13 year old boys,

I've never given you much credit for all the shit you have to go through during puberty, but I feel like we have a lot in common these days. Acne, sex dreams, gas, hair in random places, raging hormones that make me want to get in a fight...I could go on, but I think you get it. I have a newfound understanding of your troubles, so good luck to you. Just promise me that in a decade or so when your wife is pregnant and acting this way, you remember how it feels and show a little compassion.

Thanks,

Crazy pregnant lady

jamiecal · July 2013

Also...

Dear prenatal yoga teacher,

Your class last night did not make me feel relaxed or put me in a better mood. It made me tense and crabby that you think I want to smell your crappy essential oils that make my nose run. Know your audience...which right now is a room full of sensitive pregnant women. Also, your "stretches" suck.

Sincerely,

Not coming back next week

jamiecal · July 2013

@tngoldengirl - That would be the worst morning ever. I hope your day gets better from there and you don't have to clean up any more animal remains! :-&

Dishylo · July 2013

Dearest, loveliest new pillow,

Was it because of you that I slept from 10:30 through until 6:00?! It is the first night in approx two months that I didn't have to get up and pee and then lie awake for an hour. Pillow, if it was you (and not sheer exhaustion) then I love you more than disco!!!

Love, love, love a very rested me!

Dear back, neck and shoulders,

Can we just be done with this now? It's been 3.5 weeks since the accident and the constant aches and pains and headaches are really starting to get on my tits now.

A rather fed up dish!

LuGal623 · July 2013

Dear Part-time job,

Please know that I changed my availability to no longer working past 10pm as I literally cannot stay awake later than that and cannot be a zombie at my full-time job. Scheduling me to work until 11pm is not acceptable and I know you overrode this in the system so playing dumb about my change in availability does not fly. Seriously considering just quitting now...

Sincerely,
A disgruntled & hormonal employee

Dear older (and only) sister/best friend,

I am at an emotional breaking point with your lack of excitement/appropriate emotional response to this baby. I understand being 2 years older, not married or even at this stage in your life is upsetting you and I allowed you time to process everything on your own terms barely mentioning being pregnant and the like. Now it is time to stop avoiding the situation or ignoring me when we used to chat EVERYDAY all day. I am heartbroken now that this may be a point of no return for our relationship and I only have you!

Love,
Your heartbroken sister

fredtheredhead2 · July 2013

MarBee1214 said:

Another for me:

Dear Fellow Bumpies:

I was all excited to try out the new chat room link last night because I can only use it on my home computer.....and then no one was there. Sad face.

Sincerely,

disappointed bumpie

We have a chat room link? How did I miss this?

LMCB12 · July 2013

Dear 13 month old toddler,

How could you possibly know how to stomp your feet already when you are mad? I have no idea how to stop your tantrums and I am worried I am raising a brat.

Signed,

Your terrified mother

Dishylo · July 2013

MarBee1214 said:

PreDempsey said:

Another for me:

Dear Fellow Bumpies:

I was all excited to try out the new chat room link last night because I can only use it on my home computer.....and then no one was there. Sad face.

Sincerely,

disappointed bumpie
Is there a designated hey let's chat time?

Not that I know of...I was just bored

I think it was set up so that if TB went down again we all had somewhere we could chat. Or....if anybody fancied arranging a night time chat.

cyndilouwho77 · July 2013

Dear Crazy Step Mom-

Stop acting like your a better parent than me just because you babysit my kids while I work. My kids do not need you to make them four course breakfasts and lunches...in fact they are old enough to make those meals all on their own. Stop telling me that I don't take care of my kids or do enough around the house.....the second you go to work at 6am and work on your feet for 8 hours then come home to change and start running the kids from activity to activity until after 8pm everyday, we can talk about how much I do for my kids. You are a very grumpy person that needs to find a hobby other than trying to make my life miserable, I am a grown woman who obviously doesn't need you to raise my kids for me, I just need you to babysit them while I work.

Your very annoyed step daughter

sparrowmomma24 · July 2013

A few for me:

Dear Doctor at my upcoming appointment,

Please listen to me. So far I have not been listened to and it's really concerning. I know that this baby/pregnancy may seem perfectly healthy in your eyes, but I've experienced loss. So the fact that you may feel my tummy and decide it "seems good enough" does not jive in my world. Please do an ultrasound and make sure that everything is okay. I'm 16-17 ish weeks and I have no idea what's going on in my body and frankly neither do you. If this were my first pregnancy I would understand. But you have all my documented history, every miscarriage, and all my info. Please listen to it and listen to me when I say that I think I need this. I would greatly appreciate just being listened to.

Sincerely,

a scared single momma-to-be

Dear stupid single guys at the get together last night,

Just because I'm single and pregnant does NOT make me available. It does not make me easy or a "for sure thing". Yes, I'm aware that even with my big ol' baby bump I am a smokin' fox and sexy as hell. Don't you forget it! But that does NOT mean that you can touch me, come on to me, or say the things you ALL said. And if I hear ONE more time in this pregnancy that I'm "perfect" because we "wouldn't have to use a condom".... EW! I don't want a relationship, booty call, or any of that crap right now! Stop being skeevy and gross. And realize that you can compliment a woman without your next sentence being "wanna do the nasty" (or some other comment of the sort).

Sincerely,

One ticked off (but still sexy) and gloriously pregnant momma

This one is TMI Ladies

Dear Stomach/Colon,

Just because we've been constipated for the last week, does NOT mean that you can wait until we are at a friend's house to literally explode for the first time in 7 days. That was completely uncalled for. It was like World War 3 in there. I'm not even joking. Pull your timing together, Seriously. Although I appreciate the fact that you finally did move because whew... I was one bloated and uncomfortable lady.

Sincerely,

This no longer constipated but horribly embarrassed momma

Ninjafarmerswife · July 2013

Dear Not So Darling Dog,

I'm not sure why you find the carpet in both our bedroom and the soon to be nursery so appealing to pee on but you need to stop it! You never pulled this stuff in our old house and I really don't want to tether you to me all day to prevent you from this nasty new habit.

Get your act together please.

Love,

Your Human Mom (who you should want to make happy)

jhjocelyn · July 2013

Dear Office-mate,

I know this experience for you is as close as your going to get to being a grandmother for a while more (and that I remind you of your daughter who is older than me and lives out of state). I appreciate the unique relationship we have, and I honestly do like you.

Please understand, when I say "I don't need to be 'mommed' I mean all the silly little "of course, because you're pregnant" line of comments. Sometimes I just need to pee, I did that before the pregnancy, I still do. Sometimes I forget things, doesn't mean its pregnancy brain every.single.time. It feels like every conversation somehow goes back to me being pregnant.

I realize that in your mind asking you to not "mom" me has created a walk-on-egg-shells effect in our office. All I really meant, was forget that I'm pregnant and treat me like normal unless I specify otherwise. and if you were asking cloth vs pampers because you are already making office gift arrangements... please, remember I'm not stalling, I will make a wishlist after the a/s and there will still be plenty of time for you to plan. Not to sound ungrateful, I just know you're skills at over achieving can get out of hand.

Thanks,

Mildly annoyed but not nearly as much as you think I am.

and please, wipe that stupid "i'm so excited" look off your face... I don't even think I'm as excited as you are.

curlyfries1079 · July 2013

Dear Sensative Nose...

I understand you are overloaded right now and feel the need to make me sick when I smell my neighbors purfume or someone elses lunch that makes feel sick to my stomach or give me a headache cause the neighbor next store decided to smoke pot outside thier window.... but please just give me a break.

mommabird77 · July 2013

Dear head,

Please stop hurting...

Me

csandroo · July 2013

Dear anxiety,

You can go away now. I feel like I've gained so much ground conquering you but then you creep in with terrible thoughts and make my heart pound. It's actually just you who makes things difficult for me .... the made up scenarios you get me thinking about are never real or come to fruition. I'de like to calm down a bit now and be strong and stop causing emotional stress with SO. No matter what happens I have the inner strength to face my life and have real happiness-- whether it's as a single mom, with SO, with plenty, or with just enough to get by. I'm going to be more than okay ... so stop trying to convince me otherwise!!!

You suck!!!

-CS

alinafed · July 2013

Dear me,

Next time please don't burst into tears when the midwife takes out the doppler during your appt - it's supposed to be a happy thing not something that reminds you of previous bad times!

curlyfries1079 · July 2013

Dishylo said:

MarBee1214 said:

PreDempsey said:

Another for me:

Dear Fellow Bumpies:

I was all excited to try out the new chat room link last night because I can only use it on my home computer.....and then no one was there. Sad face.

Sincerely,

disappointed bumpie
Is there a designated hey let's chat time?

Not that I know of...I was just bored

I think it was set up so that if TB went down again we all had somewhere we could chat. Or....if anybody fancied arranging a night time chat.
i didn't know there was a chat room. where is it?

goldenB · July 2013

Dearest Brother,

Please do not bring the boxes of free chocolate bars that your company gives you to a pregnant woman's house. This could result in a chocolate overdose. Or worse, cellulite.
mm'mm
must. control. myself.

Love,
Your sistah.

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