loss mamas- sensitive topic

Ktbug613 · July 2013

Question for my loss mamas who opted for a d&c if your okay talking about it.

A friend of mine had what sounds to me like a horrible experience. She went in for an ultrasound at what should have been 10 weeks. They said they saw an irregular sac and no baby. Friend didn't really understand what irregular meant or why there would be a sac and no baby she tried to ask questions and they were rude to her and acted like she was stupid for not understanding but they finally agreed to do blood work and wait two weeks and let her come back for a second ultrasound just to be sure it just wasn't too early to see the baby. The second ultrasound revealed the pregnancy wasn't viable, she still doesn't understand why though. I don't think the explained to her whether the baby just stopped growing, or if there ever was a baby. The most they said was she had probably already miscarried the baby (but the sac was still there??) which makes no sense she had zero bleeding.

So fast forward and she opted for a D&C. They kept her awake and she said she felt the entire procedure and it was awful. I was put completely under for my D&C and I sort of thought that was the norm, but at the very least shouldn't she have been allowed some sort of anesthetic? She said they gave her a "local numbing agent" via a shot in her ladybits, but her ladybits weren't really what needed numbing.... Did anyone else have a D&C similar to this? Am I just uniformed and was lucky to have been put under for mine?

WildRumpus · July 2013

I too opted for a D&C, but was given the option for something similar to what you're describing that your friend had. My doctor at the time basically described it as a vacuum extraction. I just couldn't...

henderson1026 · July 2013

I had my D&C at a clinic b.c we didn't have insurance at the time. There were three prices for the different levels of anesthesia you wanted. I got the most expensive which meant I was completely out of it, but I think if I had the cheapest I would have been awake for it.

I'm so sorry the doctors made this horrible situation even worse for her

Ktbug613 · July 2013

she said they used a vacuum so sounds like the same thing

the thing is I don't think they explained to her before hand. She has had one other D&C and it wasn't anything like this so I feel like she was maybe blindsided by it.

I had no idea though that doctors would expect any woman to be awake while they suck out their baby! It just seems so unfair to have to feel it and to have to be awake knowing whats happening! I guess maybe its a normal procedure but Im mad for her!

Ktbug613 · July 2013

henderson1026 said:

I had my D&C at a clinic b.c we didn't have insurance at the time. There were three prices for the different levels of anesthesia you wanted. I got the most expensive which meant I was completely out of it, but I think if I had the cheapest I would have been awake for it.

I'm so sorry the doctors made this horrible situation even worse for her

I thought about the insurance issue too, but her husband is military, even though she was seen off base, her insurance would cover anything needed!

Cosmic+Love · July 2013

Ktbug613 said:

she said they used a vacuum so sounds like the same thing the thing is I don't think they explained to her before hand. She has had one other D&C and it wasn't anything like this so I feel like she was maybe blindsided by it.

I had no idea though that doctors would expect any woman to be awake while they suck out their baby! It just seems so unfair to have to feel it and to have to be awake knowing whats happening! I guess maybe its a normal procedure but Im mad for her!

I didn't have to have a d&c - my body took care of everything so that was avoided. But, I can't imagine having to be in the position that your friend was in. It's really upsetting to me and I'm sure she feels traumatized. Thoughts and prayers to your friend.

ETA: Spelling

WildRumpus · July 2013

I can't even imagine. I was given three choices; Cytotec and wait it out at home, the VE while awake, or the D&C. I just wanted it to be over.

floridababy3 · July 2013

Ts&Ps for your friend! I can't imagine

Ktbug613 · July 2013

chattychiqa said:

Your poor friend. I haven't suffered a loss but I wonder if she had a blighted ovum? How rotten of them to treat someone already in such an awful position that way.

This is what I think happened. I mentioned the term to her in case she wants to look up more info without going into too much detail. But I do not think she miscarried and had no idea

MellyLuc · July 2013

I suffered a loss at 13 weeks last May and my body took care of it. My sister on the other hand had to have a D&C back in April and she was put completely under and was told bed rest for a week. I can`t even put myself in your friend`s shoes and imagine how she must of felt. What a horrible experience and breaks my heart.

Sending her some tnps.

CaliforniaDream87 · July 2013

I, too, was put under during my D and C's. I couldn't imagine being awake.
I really hope your friend gets some answers though. My first miscarriage was at 10 weeks and was classified as a "missed miscarriage" because I had zero bleeding and no signs of anything wrong. Many t and p's for your friend.

KMck27 · July 2013

I'm so sorry your friend has gone through this. A loss is hard enough.
I only had a d & c with my first loss. I had mc at home and woke up the next morning in excruciating pain. My ob told me to go to the ER. They told me I had lost the baby but my cervix closed before I could shed any of the tissue. My body was contracting but getting no where. They told me I needed a d & c and put me completely under.
Thoughts and prayers for your friend

kill1981 · July 2013

I was completely out for mine. I didn't realize there was any other way. It was a horrible thing to have to go through after hearing the news that that pregnancy is no longer viable. I'm so sorry for your friend. I went in at 6 weeks they saw something but couldn't confirm. Went back in at 8 weeks and it was not viable. There was no reasoning and they even sent it off to the lab to see if it was anything genetic. It was unexplained which made it worse as well as the early days of this pregnancy because if something is unexplained then to me it seemed like it could keep happening! Tell your friend to stay positive, get a new dr and focus on all the success stories of women who have gone though it!

pkaren · July 2013

Wow, I'm so sorry your friend had such a horrible experience! I was given the option to do a spinal block or be out completely and I chose to be put under. I'm surprised they didn't explain or give her any options.

Also, her loss sounds pretty much like mine. I had a sac, but no embryo. The technical term is a Blighted Ovum. Either the embryo didn't develop properly, or sometimes it develps to a certain point, stops, then it can get reabsorbed into the body.

I'm so sorry she's going through this. Hopefully she can have a follow up with a good OB who can give her some answers.

magdalina.h · July 2013

That sounds like a blighted ovum. Where everything, but the baby develops.

kateisgreat · July 2013

I had a D&C (not for a loss, but my OB wanted to examine my uterine lining when I was struggling with IF and RPL) and they put me under for it. I used cytotec when I had a missed m/c, the rest went naturally. I cannot imagine going through what your friend did. I'm mad for her.