Ok so I struggle with infertility. But I can handle if your pregnant, don't hide it from me! That's a sure way to get me pissed off. What you don't think the hormonal if girl can handle it?
That's how I feel right now!
Last week I called a good friend, her grandmother picked up the phone and said my friend was at the hospital due to bleeding. Bleeding? She could tell I was confused and she said "ohhhh she must not have told she was pregnant again, due to your situation" PREGNANT AGAIN....that's right I have been lapped 4 times by this chick. I just made the conversation short and sweet and hung up. Immediately I start getting calls from this friend. I really didn't want to hear her say all the reasons why she hadn't told me. I was concerned of course if she was ok, which thankfully she is ok and so is the baby. I ignored her call and texted her, smooth right. She told me she was fine, and understood with my situation that I can talk when ready.
My situation? Ohhhhhhhhhhh that I suffer from infertility? Like no can even say those words??
So this morning I go to my therapist because I am flying this week and, well I needed a pep talk. I hadn't seen her since April which was pre-failed IUI#1 and #2. She opens the door and my eyes are drawn immediately to her big belly. SHE"S PREGNANT TOO! Now she looked to be 5 months, which I later found out she is 8 months. When the session brought us to how my treatments were going, we talked about it. No biggie. Then she said "well I didn't have the heart to tell you since you were struggling so much before with your fertility situation."
So yeah....me and my "situation" are going on vacation to Key Largo on Sat, and I am gonna feed my "situation" with margaritas all week long!
.:Sarah:.
Manassas, VA
Married 2/5/2005
TTC #1
DH SA-Normal
HSG-Clear/All other bw-Good
Currently on 100mg of Clomid days 5-9/Metformin 1500mg Our TTC Blog
Oh please note I am truly happy in my heart for everyone who is pregnant, has children, etc. This is just a random rant.
.:Sarah:.
Manassas, VA
Married 2/5/2005
TTC #1
DH SA-Normal
HSG-Clear/All other bw-Good
Currently on 100mg of Clomid days 5-9/Metformin 1500mg Our TTC Blog
I know how you feel. Everywhere I Look I feel that EVERYBODY I see is pregnant. I was at the pool and saw three very pregnant women and just wanted to punch them in the boob, well not really but I just felt like they were flaunting it.
You enjoy those margaritas!!!!
March 2013: First TTC trip to RE, On 1500 mg Metformin, April 2013: PCOS and Endometriosis, May 2013: DH Low volume; Femara 7.5 mg + IUI #1 = BFN, July 2013: Femara 7.5 mg + IUI #2 = BFN, August 2013: Femara 7.5 mg (X5) + Bravelle (X7) + Ovidrel + IUI #3 + Endometrin = BFP MC at 5w3d, October 2013: Follistim (X14) + Ovidrel + IUI #4 + Endometrin =BFP!!!
Me 29 DH 30 Unexplained IF TTC since wedding May 2012. IUI #1 11/5/13-BFN. IUI #2 12/5/13-BFN. IUI #3-12/30/14. All three with Femara CD 3-7 and Ovidrel trigger. +HPT 1/13/14 First +ever!!! Beta #1 195 Beta #2 1/15-533. Ultrasound on 2/4 showed one bean. EDD 9/22/14. Team Green turned Team Blue-Baby Conner arrived on 9/19/14.
Oh my GOODNESS that's frustrating! I definitely hear ya! Sorry that happened to you. Hopefully that's the only 'situation' you have to deal with!
30 yrs, healthy & TTC since April 2010
DH 32yrs & healthy
*unexplained infertility*
Regularly access alternative medicine to supplement a lack of resources in our geographical area.
Three rounds of clomid (50mg days 3-7) were useless.
IUI#1 w/clomid & HCG in May 2013, BFN.
IUI#2 w/clomid & HCG on July 23rd. BFN.
IUI #3 in August cancelled last minute, due to lab error.
IVF#1- Started Gonal F stims October 13 2013 for IUI. Over-responded with too many follicles, so converted to IVF. Retrieval October 29th - got 5 eggs, 4 fertilized. Had 2 perfect little embryos transferred on day 3 (Nov. 1). The remaining 2 didn't survive to freeze. Got our BFN on November 13th 2013.
IVF#2 - Started stims August 21st. Triggered with Suprefact, started on dostinex due to risk of OHSS. Retrieval September 5th - got 27 eggs! 21 embryos on day 3. Embryos deteriorated quickly. ESet 5day blast on Sept 10. No embryos high enough quality to freeze. BFN came Sept. 22.
Reserved a semi-known proven donor in August .
Waiting for consult/screening and protocols with estimated fresh cycle timing in October
Yeah I know what you mean too. The worst for me was about a month ago when I went to the gym to get a good workout in after AF showed, only to find a substitute instructor for the class who was a good 5 months pregnant. It was a kickboxing class and I was definitely mentally directing some punches her way! Enjoy your vacation, I hope it gives you a great break from IF stress!!
TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14) Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!
Oh, Hess, I'm so sorry. I'm especially sorry that your therapist made the same stupid comment. I hate it too when people tiptoe around me. It makes me feel even more isolated, sad, confused, alone. I know that IF is a disease... but it really stings to be reminded of it. Big hugs to you, my dear.
I understand. Sometimes, there are just no words to explain how awful people make you feel even when they are intentionally trying NOT to hurt you. It is hard also to see expectant moms everywhere. I ran into 5 yesterday! It can take it's toll on you, depending on the day. Know you are not alone. This is really the hardest thing that's ever been on my plate.
************** Siggy Warning************
Married August 2012 -- Me (40 yrs old) My husband (45 yrs. old)
RE referral from ObGYN in late Jan. 2013 -- Testing Confirms Unexplained IF
IUI #"s1 - 3 (Femara + IUI) April - June 2013 - all BFN
Decided to do IVF...Began stimming on September 10th! Egg Retrieval 9/20/13. 19 eggs: 6 to mature to freeze after 6 fertilized with ICSI
3 morula stage embryos transferred on 9/25/13.....Beta #1 on 10/4/13/ = 7.5 Beta #2 on 10/6/13 = negative
IVF#2 - Lupron plan (set to begin on 10/28/13) (Planning on thawing and fertilizing our 6 eggs with ICSI as well as all of the mature eggs they retrieve with this fresh cycle.)
Late October 2013 - ectopic pregnancy - methotrexate injection....benched 3 months
CD1 - 12/5/13...Lupron set to start on 12/26/13; CD1 - 1/2/14....Baseline 1/3/14....begin follistim tonight and continue with lupron. (Got my calendar today! IVF#2 is a go!)
ER = 1/14/14 (11 eggs....9 were mature. 9 fertilized. Of the 6 mature eggs we thawed, only 4 fertilized. At this time, we have 13 eggs fertilized and growing. Waiting for news about a 3-day or 5-day transfer.)
ET = 1/19/14 (5dt).....3 blastocysts transferred! (All nine embryos didn't make it to freeze. =( )
I know exactly how you feel....when you have IF it seems like every-flippin-woman around you is prego! I think the problem is that there's such a stigma behind IF. No one openly talks about it. You never see "IVF #2...wish us luck!" posted as someone's facebook status. It's taboo to talk about. On the flip side, since these women did know, they probably thought they were doing you a favor by not telling you....still not right, but there's no way they can relate to you not having suffered IF. Idk what's worse - not having a close friend/family member tell you because they're afraid of how you'll feel OR having someone go crazy and get excited tell you about all the new people and other family members who are now prego their first try! We just can't win!
Me 31 ~ DH 30 IVF/FET #1 - BFP!! CJW 6/15/2014 DX - PCOS 2004 FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Sorry to hear you are struggling. You aren't alone here. My therapist have me a new tactic... Wear an elastic band on my wrist, and when I start to have a negative thought about my if situation, I snap the band on my arm to help me snap out of it. Not sure if its working yet, but good luck!
IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14 FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16
I'm so sorry! That's rough. I can relate - I think my yoga instructor is pregnant. She thought she recognized me as a fellow school mom, then asked if I had any kids, and then said "but of course you must have fur babies if you don't have kids?!" No, it's cool, my life is meaningless. Let me just go eat my feelings now...
TTC #1 since June 2012
Me (28) - DOR (AFC <10, undetectable AMH, >10 FSH), homozygous E429A MTHFR DH (29) - MFI low count and morphology
Nov 2013 IVF/ICSI #1 - Protocol: BCP prep, high doses Menopur and Bravelle (12 days), ganirelex Results: 5 retrieved / mature, 4 fertilized, 1 arrested and 3 complex abnormal after day 3 PGS = Cancelled after ER Jan/Feb 2014 IVF/ICSI #2 - Protocol: Estrogen priming, high doses Menopur and Bravelle (11 days), microdose lupron Results: Cancelled after 11 days of stims due to low response and E2 levels Feb 2014 IVF/ICSI #3 - Protocol: No prep, low dose Menopur (6 days), ganirelex, Bravelle booster with trigger Results: 1 retrieved / 0 mature = Cancelled after ER
Officially moving on to embryo adoption! We used and love Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park October 2014 FET #1 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 4 from match #1, BFN December 2014 FET #2 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 4 from match #1, BFN March 2015 FET #3 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 6 from match #2, BFN May 2015 FET #4 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, lost 2 to thaw, transferred 2 of 6 from match #2, BFN October 2015 FET #5 - Natural cycle, lost 1 from match #3 and 1 from clinic backup to thaw, transferred 1 backup, BFN February 2016 FET #6 - Natural cycle, transferred 1 from match #4, B FREAKING P! Beta 1 = 162, Beta 2 = 316, doubling just over 48 hours
That stinks!! Everyone here has certainly been there and had the same thoughts and feelings as you at some point. I forgive friends because they don't know better, but your therapist!?! She definitely should have handled that better!! ((HUGS))
TTC Since January 2012
Me:37 DH:34 DX July 2013: Unexplained Infertility New DX Dec 2013: DOR
I agree! Everyone I know has kids. Or is pregnant. Or just had a baby. And everyone I see at the pool that is KU I just wanna scream. Or every time someone announces it on FB... ugh yes. I understand. I hope we all get BFP soon!! Until then I will drink my wine and margaritas! Cheers!
The tip toeing is the worst. "I didnt want to hurt your feelings." So you don't think I can put envy aside and be happy/concerned with my friend? So now I have an infertility situation and am a bad friend? Oh ok. That feels great. Being happy for someone doesn't take away my own pain and heartache. The only thing fixing that is a BFP and my social circle can't control that.
Me: 32 DH: 34
TTC #1 since June 2011, RE December 2012
HSG: tubes clear SA: Perfect AMH: 0.9 in Jan 2013 0.7 in March 2013
Femara June 2013: No repsonse. Serophene July 2013: No repsonse
Follistim August 2013: 12 follicles, 4 mature, IUI, and a BFN.
April 2014: Lost 30lbs, got my thyroid under control. Started IVF
May: BFP! EDD 1/6/2015 Heatbeat 167!
Now: Canyon James born 12/30/14 at 6:21pm via emergency c section. 9 lbs 19 1/2 inches
Re: Pregos Everywhere Vent-Pregnancy Mentioned (not mine)
Manassas, VA
Married 2/5/2005
TTC #1
DH SA-Normal
HSG-Clear/All other bw-Good
Currently on 100mg of Clomid days 5-9/Metformin 1500mg
Our TTC Blog
I know how you feel. Everywhere I Look I feel that EVERYBODY I see is pregnant. I was at the pool and saw three very pregnant women and just wanted to punch them in the boob, well not really but I just felt like they were flaunting it.
You enjoy those margaritas!!!!
March 2013: First TTC trip to RE, On 1500 mg Metformin, April 2013: PCOS and Endometriosis, May 2013: DH Low volume; Femara 7.5 mg + IUI #1 = BFN, July 2013: Femara 7.5 mg + IUI #2 = BFN, August 2013: Femara 7.5 mg (X5) + Bravelle (X7) + Ovidrel + IUI #3 + Endometrin = BFP MC at 5w3d,
October 2013: Follistim (X14) + Ovidrel + IUI #4 + Endometrin =BFP!!!
Reserved a semi-known proven donor in August .
Waiting for consult/screening and protocols with estimated fresh cycle timing in October
TTC since Sept 2011, Unexplained IF
Oct 12 - Jan 14: 3 clomid/TI cycles, 2 hysteroscopies, 2 IUIs, 1 BFP (MMC @ 12w), 2 more IUIs
Feb 14: Gonal-f + IUI #5 = BFP! (EDD 11/4/14)
Baby boy arrived 11/13/14!
Cycle #17: Natural = BFN
Cycle #18: Bravelle 225iu + Trigger + IUI = BFN
Cycle #19: Natural due to cysts = BFN
************** Siggy Warning************
Married August 2012 -- Me (40 yrs old) My husband (45 yrs. old)
RE referral from ObGYN in late Jan. 2013 -- Testing Confirms Unexplained IF
IUI #"s1 - 3 (Femara + IUI) April - June 2013 - all BFN
Decided to do IVF... Began stimming on September 10th! Egg Retrieval 9/20/13. 19 eggs: 6 to mature to freeze after 6 fertilized with ICSI
3 morula stage embryos transferred on 9/25/13.....Beta #1 on 10/4/13/ = 7.5 Beta #2 on 10/6/13 = negative
IVF#2 - Lupron plan (set to begin on 10/28/13) (Planning on thawing and fertilizing our 6 eggs with ICSI as well as all of the mature eggs they retrieve with this fresh cycle.)
Late October 2013 - ectopic pregnancy - methotrexate injection....benched 3 months
CD1 - 12/5/13...Lupron set to start on 12/26/13; CD1 - 1/2/14....Baseline 1/3/14....begin follistim tonight and continue with lupron. (Got my calendar today! IVF#2 is a go!)
ER = 1/14/14 (11 eggs....9 were mature. 9 fertilized. Of the 6 mature eggs we thawed, only 4 fertilized. At this time, we have 13 eggs fertilized and growing. Waiting for news about a 3-day or 5-day transfer.)
ET = 1/19/14 (5dt).....3 blastocysts transferred! (All nine embryos didn't make it to freeze. =( )
Beta #1 = 1/28/14 (2 weeks after ER) BFP! 209 (9dp5dt) EDD 10/7/14
Beta #2 - 1/30/14 (11 dp5dt) 302
Beta #3 - 2/3/14 (15 dp5dt) 1222
Ultrasound set for 2/17/14......TWINS! Twin A - HR 124 bpm; Twin B - HR 126 bpm
Final Ultrasound with RE 3/10/14 - Twin A - HR 176 bpm; Twin B - HR 177 bpm.
PAIF/SAIF Welcome!
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled
IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14
FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16
TTC #1 since June 2012
Me (28) - DOR (AFC <10, undetectable AMH, >10 FSH), homozygous E429A MTHFR
DH (29) - MFI low count and morphology
September 2013 IUI#1 - Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN
October 2013 IUI#2 - Letrozole + Menopur + Trigger + IUI = BFN
Nov 2013 IVF/ICSI #1 - Protocol: BCP prep, high doses Menopur and Bravelle (12 days), ganirelex
Results: 5 retrieved / mature, 4 fertilized, 1 arrested and 3 complex abnormal after day 3 PGS = Cancelled after ER
Jan/Feb 2014 IVF/ICSI #2 - Protocol: Estrogen priming, high doses Menopur and Bravelle (11 days), microdose lupron
Results: Cancelled after 11 days of stims due to low response and E2 levels
Feb 2014 IVF/ICSI #3 - Protocol: No prep, low dose Menopur (6 days), ganirelex, Bravelle booster with trigger
Results: 1 retrieved / 0 mature = Cancelled after ER
Officially moving on to embryo adoption! We used and love Embryo Adoption Services of Cedar Park
October 2014 FET #1 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 4 from match #1, BFN
December 2014 FET #2 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 4 from match #1, BFN
March 2015 FET #3 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, transferred 2 of 6 from match #2, BFN
May 2015 FET #4 - BCP/Lupron/Estrace/Prometrium, lost 2 to thaw, transferred 2 of 6 from match #2, BFN
October 2015 FET #5 - Natural cycle, lost 1 from match #3 and 1 from clinic backup to thaw, transferred 1 backup, BFN
February 2016 FET #6 - Natural cycle, transferred 1 from match #4, B FREAKING P!
Beta 1 = 162, Beta 2 = 316, doubling just over 48 hours
4 rounds of clomid, 2 with IUI = BFN
Me: 32 DH: 34
TTC #1 since June 2011, RE December 2012
HSG: tubes clear SA: Perfect AMH: 0.9 in Jan 2013 0.7 in March 2013
Femara June 2013: No repsonse. Serophene July 2013: No repsonse
Follistim August 2013: 12 follicles, 4 mature, IUI, and a BFN.
April 2014: Lost 30lbs, got my thyroid under control. Started IVF
May: BFP! EDD 1/6/2015 Heatbeat 167!
Now: Canyon James born 12/30/14 at 6:21pm via emergency c section. 9 lbs 19 1/2 inches