Breastfeeding VS Crazy Mother in Law

kittymama48 · July 2013

So my husband comes home and tells me he saw his parents at work and his mother told him how he has to convince me not to breastfeed because she doesn't like the way I eat and how me being so smallI will starve my baby... She also says she's going to "sneak it some food if I don't think you're feeding it right" and how that wasn't what she did so its not what we should do either... I take the "sneaking food" comment very seriously because she does that to me... she will tell me spinach is lettuce, as if I won't notice, she put milk in my food instead of a substitute (lactose intolerant) and other annoying things like that... she tried to tell me that fried fish was fried chicken... I eventually got tired of eating dinner with them and started cooking things I liked to eat and knew what was in them so I would get sick even though she openly criticized me for it... I don't know whats worse the fact that I feel more offended that she called my son "it" or the fact that I feel like I may not be good enough to breastfeed him... It may sound ridiculous but I am due next week and have been a roller coaster of emotions. My husband is very supportive of breastfeeding, and I swear if anyone touches my son or gives him anything I will flip out! She went through my hospital go bag and took out what I picked for his outfit and replaced it with an "I love grandma" outfit... I just put it back the way it was and tried to let it go.She's also messed with his laundry, she added more detergent because she saw me putting it in and said it wasn't enough... I did what the instructions said. I have noticed myself getting territorial lately, and its just laundry but she didn't even ask me about it first she just started touching things and it got me MAD! I don't know if I am being too sensitive, but he is my son...I make the decisions...

kimberlymacrae · July 2013

Start your Bump career with an intro post?

KateLouise · July 2013

These things would drive me crazy too. BUT...it sounds like you live with your in-laws. Maybe get your own place?

lbethke99 · July 2013

KateLouise said:

These things would drive me crazy too. BUT...it sounds like you live with your in-laws. Maybe get your own place?

Agreed- get your own place if you're living with them. Other then that if you don't live with them you & your husband need to man up and say something.

kimberlymacrae - Why the need for an intro post? No one remembers who did an intro & who didn't.

8-|

Weljadraak · July 2013

This woman needs to be punched in the throat.

topofthepeek · July 2013

Your hubby needs to expalin to his mom to back off, and if you both are looking for advvice, you will come to her. She already raised her child(or children). You are the mother and you will make the decisions here. And if you are living with them, I would move out. Or she will always be up in your business

ashcart01 · July 2013

Oh my gosh. I would lose my sh*t. My filter is gone. I would tell her right where to shove it.

jlbhz2275 · July 2013

Holy crap your MIL is crazy! Breastfeeding is the best for baby, your size is not indicative of how much milk you will produce. That is such an old wives tale and is nothing more than bunk. As long as you eat a well balanced diet and drink plenty of fluids, take your prenatal vitamin your milk should be just fine. Your baby will not starve, and your baby's doc will monitor his weight gain anyway. And the idea of someone slipping your child food is scary as hell, what is she gives him or her something that they are allergic to and you have no idea, or something too soon and upsets his poor little tummy. No way man! Its not like grandma slipping a 3yr old an extra cookie. Tell her if she can't be trusted to follow what mom and dad have deemed best for baby, then she can't be trusted with baby at all. You are the momma I say stand your ground!

PrimRoseMama · July 2013

1.) How you choose to feed your child is explicitly your business. Tell your husband to tell his mother to back off and butt out. Its not her business. Period. End of story. Full stop.

2.) If she is doing things to endanger your health then don't allow her to prepare food for you. That is ridiculous and dangerous. I also would be wary of allowing her to watch my children later if she did not listen to my wishes about food. That is disrespectful and can be mean. Especially if it is causing you physical distress like lactose intolerance. That is awful.

If you live with your IL then move out ASAP. Don't live with them. She is overstepping but you are also not being an adult and living on your own. You need to move out ASAP.

kcs7 · July 2013

I was wondering the same thing, do you live with them and if so, make a plan to get out, asap! You'll feel soooo much better and more free! It is hard having a controlling person in one's life, but they have no right to try and control you and trick you. However, if trying to remember somewhere deep inside she does this because she does care in her own way and wants the best for the baby, but yea, that'd be a tough one to remember for me and I'd probably goes a little krazy on her. lol

One thought, if she is the kind of person you can try to talk to even a little, you might say something along the lines of I appreciate your concern but it is also my concern to be healthy and keep my baby healthy and rest assured I will do everything needed and consult with my Doctor to make sure of this, to keep myself and baby healthy and if we need further assistance we will ask you. Or, you can mention to her, you would be willing to see a nutritionist if she would be willing to pay to send you to one. Granted, you may not feel you need to see one, but if it would appease her some and bring some peace, it may be worth it, and we ALL can always benefit from extra knowledge anyway, so it couldn't hurt.

Good luck!

kmichln · July 2013

Yeah, your MIL sounds like a crazy b! I probably would have flipped by now.

If you or your husband don't start standing up for yourselves this is never going to end. I have an overbearing MIL too and we've had to have some pretty uncomfortable conversations with her. It sucks, but nothing is going to change if you guys don't do it.

BelhurstBride · July 2013

Sounds like you and your DH need to set up some boundaries with his parents. If you don't do it now your marriage will suffer for it.

tashad18 · July 2013

My mom is opinionated but never to this extent. Geez. She needs to mind her own business or learn to let it go once her opinion has been heard once. It's crazy that she tries to control what you eat and now what you LO will eat. I agree that DH needs to say something to her. At this point, you should say something to her. This is your child and you get to make the parenting choices. She had her kids and made her choices. Time to butt out.

I swear some of these MIL stories on here make me so glad that I barely know my mother in law and that she lives across country and doesn't make an effort to be involved much.

Gatorsgirl731 · July 2013

I'd loose it.

You and your DH need to have a conversation with her pronto. If this woman does half of what you are saying she has to potential to seriously hurt you or your LO. PP's are right, if you live with them you need out ASAP.

BabyCampbell312 · July 2013

lbethke99 said:

Agreed- get your own place if you're living with them. Other then that if you don't live with them you & your husband need to man up and say something.

kimberlymacrae - Why the need for an intro post? No one remembers who did an intro & who didn't.
8-|

=D>

Rowcate · July 2013

Wow, she sounds ridiculous. Good Luck.

laurakaz13 · July 2013

Um, OP do you live with them? If so, why? Get out of there.

If you do live with them and can't move out at the moment, then cook your own food and let it be known that how you feed your child is none of her business. Also, do not leave her alone with your child. Please, please tell me you are not planning to use her as child care.

Tell your DH to man up and stand up to MIL. Now!

katiebenes · July 2013

I would flip out if anyone told me they were going to sneak my child food. I am REALLY hoping YH was telling you as "omg, you'll never believe what my Mom said"

abell77 · July 2013

Whoa. I would be pissed. I think your husband needs to take the lead and set boundaries with her to let her know that what she is doing and saying is not ok. She got to do what she wanted with her kids, now it is your turn to do what you want with yours. If she seriously thinks your child is endangered, then she should call CPS. I would not be comfortable at all leaving my child alone with her with the kinds of things she says. Good Luck.

Millie1984 · July 2013

Um, whoa. Do NOT let your MIL be alone with your baby. Ever.

And your husband needs to have a serious talk with her about boundaries- she is his mother, and that is his responsibility.

allurea · July 2013

I'd have flipped out. Get some boundries set. If you live with them, it's time to move out, if you don't live with them then you need to set some rules. Unless you are putting your baby at risk by not feeding it enough, than she has no right to interfer, your doctor will let you know how the baby is doing and if you need to supplement or not. Honestly with comments like that from her, I wouldn't leave her alone with the baby for a second, especially considering what she's done in regard to your food/health.

Oh and make sure you rerinse that baby stuff that she put more detergent in with. Babies skin is super sensitive and I'd be concerned that if she added more than the recommended amount of laundry soap that it didn't rinse out properly and baby could react to it.

nawlinsgrl · July 2013

OP, your MUD hasn't improved since you started posting. I kind of like the other ones better, at least they are entertaining.

To others who question me, just read her two other posts. If you still think her posts are real, well then, you're just a special kind of stupid.

caramia582 · July 2013

I remember you from Midwife from Hell!! That was a good one.

interzone · July 2013

caramia582 said:

I remember you from Midwife from Hell!! That was a good one.

The baby shower one hit most of the high points too: mean MIL, rescinding promised shower, etc. Who has the time t make up and then type out such stupid crap? Wish I did!

AmFm922 · July 2013

interzone said:

caramia582 said:

I remember you from Midwife from Hell!! That was a good one.

The baby shower one hit most of the high points too: mean MIL, rescinding promised shower, etc. Who has the time t make up and then type out such stupid crap? Wish I did!

Just have to say I LOOOOVE your Daria avatar!!

allurea · July 2013

interzone said:

caramia582 said:

I remember you from Midwife from Hell!! That was a good one.

The baby shower one hit most of the high points too: mean MIL, rescinding promised shower, etc. Who has the time t make up and then type out such stupid crap? Wish I did!

I'd say "Challenge Accepted!", but even on full time bedrest I'm way too tired and lazy to spend the time needed to come up with something like this.

LetsGoToDisney · July 2013

I also have a crummy MIL. After a serious airing of grievances I have chosen a path of avoidance and am much happier.

Avoidance like a Pro Tip #1: If ever asked, answer "We already have plans." For example, right now our calendar shows that we will be busy every weekend during the college football season and for every holiday until summer of 2015. Since I am planning to breastfeed, LO needs to stay with me.

trac101s · July 2013

As PP have stated, if you live with your in-laws I would seriously consider moving out.

I know ideally with one more week to go or so that moving is the last thing you want to do, and im not sure you can move out.

But i think if you removed yourself from the situation, that your stress levels would decrease majorly and your relationship with your husband will not suffer.

But i also think your MIL is crazy to be doing things to you, and if my hubby didn't say anything which i know he would. I would say something to her myself especially if my health is at risk.

I'm not one to be mean about things, but some things can't go left unsaid. Maybe once you voice your thoughts she will realize her wrong doing and change for the better.

But at the end of the day how you raise your child is your husbands and your decision, no one else.

vintageutopia · July 2013

I am glad that I clicked to the end of this thread and saw that this poster is known for drama. I just couldn't imagine this being a real-life scenario.

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