2 baby showers?

mommyjudy7 · July 2013

Hello moms. Some of you already know that I have an 8 year old and am expecting a baby girl very soon! My friends have been asking me if I want to be surprised with another baby shower (I've already had one for my son)..isn't it uncustomary to have 2 baby showers? I don't know what to say to them. Have any of you experienced this before? Please help!

LucyRicardo3 · July 2013

My oldest was 8 when my second child was born, as well. A friend offered to throw a casual shower. I only had keepsake things left from him. I don't know your circumstances, but I had remarried since my oldest was born, and this was my husband's first baby experience.

When I was pregnant with the twins, some sweet older ladies in my neighborhood and church insisted to throw me a diaper "sprinkle" but I ended up on hospital bedrest so it never happened.

A few of my friends have had coworkers give them "sprinkles" for their second, third, etc babies and it's often at a local cafe where everyone pays their own tabs but it's a light- hearted get together and it's usually essentials like diapers or even gift cards. No games or decorations. (I'm in Georgia, if that matters.)

I've also seen others on here that still feel awkward about a second shower and friends gave them freezer meals or signed up for one night of the first week or two's dinner deliveries.

If you feel awkward about it, then just politely decline. (Although the freezer meal or dinner delivery option can be a sanity-saver )

ETA: I'm from the school of thought that every baby is a celebration.

playball13 · July 2013

My former coworkers threw me a shower with my son 5 years ago and a couple years later I changed workplaces. Now that I am pregnant again, I was not expecting any showers but a group of friends have decided that they would like to throw me one. Also, my current coworkers said they want to do a sprinkle.

happywifemomofone · July 2013

I married about 4 years ago, my older child is now 20yo. My MIL wants to throw us a shower. I agreed, delighted that she wanted to make the effort. However, now I'm running into resistance from my Mom and Sisters who believe one shower and done is the way to go. My MIL is asking for names and addresses of who she can invite from my side of the family.....Mom doesn't think we should invite anyone outside my mom and sisters who went to my first shower (no aunts, cousins, etc.). My MIL thinks we should just invite everyone all over again, those who want to come will-and those who don't won't. Wishing that I had never agreed to second shower, now I feel trapped in the middle of 2 different ways of thinking. Safety standards have changed drastically in the past 20 years, and even if I did have anything left over from my son-it's unlikely that it would meet today's safety standards. Unfortunately, shower etiquette can differ from family to family and the last think I want to do is offend anyone.

Geeps2 · July 2013

I work in education so there is always someone getting married or having a baby We just had this school year 2 of our staff members pregnant with their second children. Both had boys and found out they were having girls. We threw both wonderful ladies a "sprinkle." It was a nice way to celebrate the impending births of our staff members and friends. If people want to throw you a shower I say go for it! If you are more comfortable maybe explain you just want something small nothing crazy. Enjoy this special time with your friends who want to do something nice for you

StephanieLove10 · July 2013

happywifemomofone:
I married about 4 years ago, my older child is now 20yo. My MIL wants to throw us a shower. I agreed, delighted that she wanted to make the effort. However, now I'm running into resistance from my Mom and Sisters who believe one shower and done is the way to go. My MIL is asking for names and addresses of who she can invite from my side of the family.....Mom doesn't think we should invite anyone outside my mom and sisters who went to my first shower (no aunts, cousins, etc.). My MIL thinks we should just invite everyone all over again, those who want to come will-and those who don't won't. Wishing that I had never agreed to second shower, now I feel trapped in the middle of 2 different ways of thinking. Safety standards have changed drastically in the past 20 years, and even if I did have anything left over from my son-it's unlikely that it would meet today's safety standards. Unfortunately, shower etiquette can differ from family to family and the last think I want to do is offend anyone.

Why are some people so weird about showers? This whole "ONE SHOWER EVER!" thing is so bizarre to me. It's been 20 years, you didn't ask for one, you have a new family and new set of in-laws (and probably new friends as well). I say give your MIL the names and addresses. If they come, they come. If they don't, they don't.

DezignedByFaith · July 2013

I totally agree StephanieLove10.

StephanieLove10:
[lquote user="happywifemomofone"]I married about 4 years ago, my older child is now 20yo.  My MIL wants to throw us a shower.  I agreed, delighted that she wanted to make the effort.  However, now I'm running into resistance from my Mom and Sisters who believe one shower and done is the way to go.  My MIL is asking for names and addresses of who she can invite from my side of the family.....Mom doesn't think we should invite anyone outside my mom and sisters who went to my first shower (no aunts, cousins, etc.).  My MIL thinks we should just invite everyone all over again, those who want to come will-and those who don't won't.  Wishing that I had never agreed to second shower, now I feel trapped in the middle of 2 different ways of thinking.  Safety standards have changed drastically in the past 20 years, and even if I did have anything left over from my son-it's unlikely that it would meet today's safety standards.  Unfortunately, shower etiquette can differ from family to family and the last think I want to do is offend anyone.

Why are some people so weird about showers?   This whole "ONE SHOWER EVER!" thing is so bizarre to me.  It's been 20 years, you didn't ask for one, you have a new family and new set of in-laws (and probably new friends as well).  I say give your MIL the names and addresses.  If they come, they come.  If they don't, they don't.

mommyjudy7 · July 2013

Thank you all for your help!

hammysmommy · July 2013

My husband's cousin had what was being called a "Diaper Party" - not a full-fledged shower, but a gathering with smaller gifts/much needed items (bottles/diapers/onesies - since they had thought they were done!)

icogburn · July 2013

I think it is totally okay. Your last shower was 8 years ago! You will need new gear. Babies should be celebrated, plus you probably have new friends, co-workers and maybe even family members now.

kat4905 · July 2013

I've heard that it's fine to have multiple baby showers if the babies are of a different gender or there are quite a few years in between. I think you're safe and it's perfectly fine to have another one. Congratulations!

ap142193 · July 2013

My best friend is preggers with her 3rd and she had showers for each child, but the first was the largest. That being said, you aren't throwing it yourself and no one is forced to attend. I think someone offering to host a shower is about friendship and joy. It should be appreciated.

Barbercharm · July 2013

Every baby deserves celebration! And every Mama deserves to be showered with each pregnancy! That being said, I had my 2nd and 3rd babies 18 months apart, so my friends threw me a full fledged shower for my 2nd but threw me a "pamper mom" shower for my 3rd - since we didn't need anything but diapers! So that shower was all about me! I loved it! Now, 6 years later we're expecting number 4, have gotten rid of everything and live in a new state. My friends just offered to throw me a shower and while I didn't expect it, I'm letting them. They want to celebrate this baby too!

mommyjudy7 · July 2013

Agreed!! Thank you!

Mini Blossom · August 2013

I agree, every baby deserves a celebration! Invite who you want to invite. If they want to come, they will. Don't worry so much about what people think - you're in a different relationship and it's all new and exciting, so enjoy it! How lovely that people want to do this for you.

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