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only child with not many playdates, feeling guilty...

SallyAnneSSallyAnneS member
in Stay at Home Moms
Should I feel bad that my ds (2 yr old) is an only child who doesn't go to many playdates?

He is super happy most of the time and enjoys socializing if we do go out.  But I don't have many friends and don't enjoy the mommy groups in my area (okay I might be a bit of a hermit lol). In the school year there are indoor play gyms that we go to once a week which is great but they are on break for the summer.  

I feel guilty like I am depriving him because we don't go to playgroups a few times a week. Does it matter at 2years old has a lot of socialization?  I plan on doing swimming lessons amd gymnastics in the fall as well as the open play gym. Should I just relax and enjoy this time that he is happy to play alone and with me. Or do I need to get out there and join mom groups for his benefit?
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Re: only child with not many playdates, feeling guilty...

  • StefibethStefibeth member
    IMO socialization is important.  It doesn't have to be with play dates though.  If you take him to activities regularly where he can interact with peers I think that's fine.  

    I also don't think it's the end of the world if he doesn't get a ton of socialization.  I'm sure he'll do fine.  

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  • ASullivan1231ASullivan1231 member
    He'll be fine. It sounds like you have some great activities set up for the fall. Enjoy the rest if the summer and try not to worry :)
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  • peaceinnaturepeaceinnature member
    I have worried about the same thing.  I'm not much of a joiner and haven't really done too much socializing in organized groups with DS, but he does interact with other kids his age and older when we go to the park, which is almost everyday, and the library.  And I took him to an indoor gym during the winter.  I don't think he NEEDS lots of socialization yet though.  Next year we'll look into more programs, but for now I'm just enjoying spending time with him on my terms. :)
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  • SallyAnneSSallyAnneS member
    Thank you ladies. I feel like if I lived way out in the country where their arent as many people around I wouldnt worry about it at all. But because I am in a subdivison I feel guilty about being more of a homebody.  my subdivision is made up of mature couples so there arent many kids around.  But I will try and take him to the park more and not worry about it as much. I do plan on sending him to preschool when he is 3 so he gets use to having peers and structure before starting jr kindergarten. 
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  • kcisthebombdotcomkcisthebombdotcom member
    amy052006 said:
    Honest opinion?  School traditionally starts at three for a reason.  I think if typical kids NEEDED socialization before then, school would start earlier.

    Don't get me wrong -- being out and about, play time, story time, whatever, its all great!  I just don't think getting to mommy and me every week from birth is totally necessary.

    I agree that strictly from a socialization aspect, kids under three don't need to have specific activities geared towards socialization. However, kids learn a lot from getting out in the community and exploring places besides the walls of their house and backyard. I think getting out regularly is important for kids. I don't think it needs to be daily, and it doesn't need to be a playgroup but kids should get very regular exposure to different places besides their house.
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  • dizzycooksdizzycooks member
    I think you have a few activities lined up and that sounds like a good amount of interaction.  Like someone else mentioned, if you go to church, do you take him to the nursery?  That is another way to provide socialization.

    Do you WANT to join a moms group?  If not, then I wouldn't worry about it.  If you want adult interaction, how about inviting a friend over (with or without kids) while he naps or plays on his own.  It's good for him to see that you have other priorities at times as well.  Otherwise, I would just enjoy your little boy.  He will be in school with plenty of other kids soon enough!
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  • DochasDochas member
    Sometime around or just after 2.5 is when my son started loving being around other kids.  I was considering not starting preschool at 3 but as he nears that age he asks about 'seeing friends' many days of the week.  They tell you what they need!  I'm glad we're starting at 3 and think it's completely unnecessary at 2.  Fine if you want to do it, but not anything they need.
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  • SallyAnneSSallyAnneS member
    KC_13 said:
    amy052006 said:
    Honest opinion?  School traditionally starts at three for a reason.  I think if typical kids NEEDED socialization before then, school would start earlier.

    Don't get me wrong -- being out and about, play time, story time, whatever, its all great!  I just don't think getting to mommy and me every week from birth is totally necessary.

    I agree that strictly from a socialization aspect, kids under three don't need to have specific activities geared towards socialization. However, kids learn a lot from getting out in the community and exploring places besides the walls of their house and backyard. I think getting out regularly is important for kids. I don't think it needs to be daily, and it doesn't need to be a playgroup but kids should get very regular exposure to different places besides their house.
    I probably should have clarified that he has interaction with his grandparents every week and we go to the zoo weekly (just the two or three of us though so not a lot of outside interaction). We definitely get out of the house a few times a week just not usually to see other kids or friends. 

    Tjanks everyone, I feel a lot beter now.
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