I need to unfollow...

piphigirl · July 2013

...a particular person in my life on FB and Pinterest. (Warning: rant to follow!)

Backstory: DH and I are in constant agreement about our parenting style, and it has always worked for us. We use pretty much all the tips and tricks from The Baby Whisperer, Babywise, and the Sleep Easy Solution, along with a dash of common sense to make it all work together. Charlotte has always slept in a crib in her own room, we push her in a stroller, and she eats formula. I am thrilled with all of this and she is a wonderful, happy baby.

This individual that I know is expecting this winter. She is constantly posting all over Pinterest and Facebook about the following: why "crunchy" (her words) moms do it better, how cribs isolate children and crying for 15 minutes will ruin their brains, why Babywise is child abuse, why you shouldn't give formula and how it's full of evil toxins, how breastfeeding is free and those of us who don't do it didn't try hard enough, I could go on. This individual and I used to be close, and before she was pregnant, she was super interested in our parenting methods and asked a lot of questions. Now I feel like her pins and FB posts are specifically directed at me, telling me why I am a bad parent.

My tongue is held and I don't say a thing to her. I occasionally share posts from the Fearless Formula Feeder FB page (love her) and this gal comments things like, "I have nothing against formula for those who need it. Formula companies are totally evil, though, and I wish they wouldn't use GMOs. People really should buy organic, if possible." (This is a mash up of a few different posts she made, but you get the idea.)

I should just turn off her posts. I can't really un-friend her because she is a close friend of the family and there would be hurt feelings.

Rant over. I'm whiny this week, aren't I?

phq2011 · July 2013

Vent away. I hope that she learns with her baby that every situation is different and that if she does need formula or whatever, she makes the best decision for her baby.

Cbarajas08 · July 2013

She sounds like a real gem. I kind of hope BFing doesn't work for her. I want to know how her views will change once she has her baby. I know mine did.

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

Hide her and have a glass of wine to calm your blood.

gollywollypog · July 2013

I'd unfriend her in a hot minute. And I consider myself a "crunchy" mom. STOP PUSHING YOUR AGENDA, WOMAN.

CRey13 · July 2013

How do you know my cousin?

piphigirl · July 2013

The thing is, I'm a little "crunchy," too! DH and I have both embraced babywearing in situation where it makes sense... I just don't do it 24 hours a day and don't find it to have benefits other than I can carry stuff down to the beach with my kid on my back. We also use cloth diapers (mostly for money savings), I made most of the purees that Charlotte ate from months 5-8, and I had a natural birth with a midwife.

However, I would NEVER suggest that one of these things is better than another method.

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

I had to hide this broad who puts crap like that on FB. She also is always posting about how unnecessary c sections are and how women just didn't try hard enough. I would love for her to try lying in a hospital bed with a baby who is so stuck he will be born with a black eye and listen to his poor heart rate skyrocket every time she contracts from his pain. Then try to make the decision to c section or not knowing as soon as he is free from her body, his pain can stop. I hummed to myself in my head about c sections at my labor class because I was that convinced it would be useless information. It wasn't. And I'm no less a woman because of it.

piphigirl · July 2013

Baker_Bride said:

I had to hide this broad who puts crap like that on FB. She also is always posting about how unnecessary c sections are and how women just didn't try hard enough. I would love for her to try lying in a hospital bed with a baby who is so stuck he will be born with a black eye and listen to his poor heart rate skyrocket every time she contracts from his pain. Then try to make the decision to c section or not knowing as soon as he is free from her body, his pain can stop. I hummed to myself in my head about c sections at my labor class because I was that convinced it would be useless information. It wasn't. And I'm no less a woman because of it.

Amen to that. Much respect for c section mamas. My mom had one with me because I was a ginormous baby, and I thought the same would happen with Charlotte. I actually paid attention and read up on c sections and luckily didn't end up needing the information. I was less concerned about the actual surgery and more about the recovery. I hate being laid up!

piphigirl · July 2013

2ag said:

I have a friend like that who has a baby a few months younger than DD who does this and it irritates the crap out of me. I breastfed as long as I could, but I don't want to see pictures of babies attached to boobs and be lectured about the superiority of BFing. Maybe I'm too modest?

This. We may be friends with the same person. (This is a different girl - she had a kid in October, I think.) Every post of hers attributes some act or feat of her child's to breastmilk. Every day, a like to an article about "gentle" parenting, leaving your son in tact, and the Parents Against Babywise FB page. I refer to her as my frenemy (I have since college.)

jodegaard · July 2013

Doesn't matter on which side of the parenting spectrum she falls, she's being rude and inconsiderate. You could call me a crunchy mom, I planned a home-birth after all, but she is clearly naive about the fact that blasting her opinions only serves to ostracize family and friends.

If she's really a close friend, can you ask her what the deal is?

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

piphigirl said:

Baker_Bride said:

I had to hide this broad who puts crap like that on FB. She also is always posting about how unnecessary c sections are and how women just didn't try hard enough. I would love for her to try lying in a hospital bed with a baby who is so stuck he will be born with a black eye and listen to his poor heart rate skyrocket every time she contracts from his pain. Then try to make the decision to c section or not knowing as soon as he is free from her body, his pain can stop. I hummed to myself in my head about c sections at my labor class because I was that convinced it would be useless information. It wasn't. And I'm no less a woman because of it.

Amen to that. Much respect for c section mamas. My mom had one with me because I was a ginormous baby, and I thought the same would happen with Charlotte. I actually paid attention and read up on c sections and luckily didn't end up needing the information. I was less concerned about the actual surgery and more about the recovery. I hate being laid up!

Recovery was nothing for me. But what do I know? I herniated a disc in labor and only became aware of it six months later!

jodegaard · July 2013

@Baker_Bride is super woman. I'm still mad at her dumb OB for her! X(

piphigirl · July 2013

@Baker_Bride - damn, woman. That sucks.

rp-chicago-mom · July 2013

piphigirl said:

2ag said:

I have a friend like that who has a baby a few months younger than DD who does this and it irritates the crap out of me. I breastfed as long as I could, but I don't want to see pictures of babies attached to boobs and be lectured about the superiority of BFing. Maybe I'm too modest?

This. We may be friends with the same person. (This is a different girl - she had a kid in October, I think.) Every post of hers attributes some act or feat of her child's to breastmilk. Every day, a like to an article about "gentle" parenting, leaving your son in tact, and the Parents Against Babywise FB page. I refer to her as my frenemy (I have since college.)</
We all need a nemesis.

nicnac817 · July 2013

I would definitely hide her posts. It is one of the great things about FB. I've done this with a few friends and family. It saves you from getting worked up over other people's stupidity.

piphigirl · July 2013

@Ajm11 - I know. Like, I hope she gets her ideal birth and baby experience, but nothing is perfect! I will definitely be a person she asks for help if things don't work out and I will not be smug to her face.

@nicnac817 - DH has already hidden this person's updates. He did it after she complained about morning sickness three times on the DAY after she announced on FB. Yes, you read that right. Three MS updates in a day.

smile50208 · July 2013

I just don't understand why people think their way is better than anyone else's way. What works my me and my family may not work for another. These people need to stop pushing their beliefs onto others. This is in all aspects of life, parenting, religion, etc etc.

cedenton · July 2013

I understand where she gets the Babywise hate. And, unfortunately, not everyone is as smart as we are

and can figure out what parts are okay to pull from (eat, sleep, play...loose schedule) so it's easier to just tell people it's bad info.

Buuuttt...she doesn't even have a kid, yet. She's in for a rude awakening.

I just unfriended someone on Pinterest because she posted anti-vax stuff. Ugh.

HoneyBunn24 · July 2013

I haven't read any responses yet, but I would just like to say that it really upsets me when people say things like "you didn't try hard enough" or "you have up too early" about breast feeding and when it doesn't work.

I breast fed and Jacqueline got thrush all over her mouth, I had yeast infections in both nipples, her latch was never very good so I was constantly cringing as she would split my nipples and eventually I couldn't handle the pain anymore. I decided that pumping would help with her thrush and my infections and things went downhill from there. Once Jacqueline started bottles she fought so hard to latch again and after almost 5 months (prescriptions, renting pumps, massage, heat etc)

Sorry, but I didn't stop until I couldn't do it. 2 oz in a 45 minute pumping session was infuriating, and it drives me crazy when people feel that breastfeeding is easy...because it's not.

I would put this woman on your "acquaintance" list and then restrict her posts in your timeline.

Again, sorry for the rambling.

AggieDaner · July 2013

Oh lord, I have a "friend" who's the same way, only she isn't a mom yet. I'm sure once she eventually gets pregnant she's going to be a nightmare. Every week there's a new *thing* she's decided to have as her new identity. Vegan/Yogi/Cat Lady/Nerd/Childfree for Life/Runner/whatever, it changes all the freaking time. Whatever identity she's obsessed with at any given time, she posts tons of stupid links and pictures of it like it's her damn job. And god forbid you question the veracity of any of it, then you're being a jerk. So annoying.

twoitalians · July 2013

I would hide her updates so they don't bother you as much.

I wonder if her tune will change if she ends up with a difficult baby who refuses to BF, screams when held in a carrier, and fights sleep when he or she is 7 months old.

piphigirl · August 2013

My frenemy, the judgy crunchy mama, struck again tonight with a link that made my blood boil. Just as I was itching to comment and ready to put away the iPad so I wouldn't, a miracle happened! Our friend who watches Charlotte left a comment on my wall about how she loves spending time with our happy and well-scheduled baby. That took away all my grouchiness and basically did my retaliating for me! Now that I think of it, frenemy posted two judgy BFing memes today and I only commented on one. I deserve ice cream.

rMe6411 · August 2013

Ugh. One thing I learned the past year... Your views change and you better be flexible. I would hide her posts.

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