Loss check-in

shandorfml2 · July 2013

How's everyone this week?
Welcome to our checkin!

I am sorry to have to welcome new loss moms this week but am so glad that you have found us. I hope we can bring each other some much needed comfort and support. Please feel free to join in when you are ready and share as much or as little as you wish. Also, if you have any questions you would like answered, just ask! Any lurkers out there please don't be shy, we would like to be able to support you too.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

shandorfml2 · July 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I think so. I'm at a new location at work, and we have someone coming back from maternity leave next week. I told a few co-workers so they'd be aware of my loss. It was hard but I'm glad I did it.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue to try and get healthy. Eat well, walk. I want to write more in my blog and journal.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy? Reading time together at night. My H would read to her and she'd go crazy. She loved to hear her Daddy's voice

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?I miss my girl. I just want to hold her and snuggle her. My heart hurts and I'm tired of it hurting. It's almost been 5 months and I'm tired of hurting. I know I will hurt my whole life but it has gotten easier in time.

amandager99 · July 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Can't say I have. Still just taking it day to day. Happy to have okay days. Just when it seems like things are good I'll get hit with something. Just making it through the days.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Continue to focus on getting myself healthy. I've started to get active again, now I really need to focus on the food part. I'm doing way to much emotional eating.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy? On mother's day I felt Daniel move for the first, and only time. I'm so thankful to have had that.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm just tired. I'm tired of the ups and downs and I miss who I use to be.

PerkyErky · July 2013

***ticker warning/pregnancy and DS mentioned***

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
No not really. Just one day after another.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I don't really have any goals. Try to be as healthy as possible for this new pregnancy.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?
When our 4 y/o at the time would hold the Doppler as we listened to the heartbeat, he called it beep beeping my belly. We did it the night before we lost Alice and we have a few pictures of him and he just looks fascinated.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I realized this week that I am on the same week changing schedule as last pregnancy, so when I changed to 8 weeks on Saturday I should have been turning 38. It is really hard, plus my EDD is coming up in less than two weeks on Aug 10th. It's been a difficult few days and I suspect it won't be getting any easier in the days leading up to me EDD.

hopefulmom88 · July 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? No, not really. We did get the autopsy results back and that has helped with our closure.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? Just to continue walking and eating healthy. We bought a treadmill which is really helping me to be able to walk since we live in TX and it is super hot outside.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy? When my husband was able to feel her kick for the first time, he was surprised by how strong it felt.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Family who lost a baby this week. I just know the pain they are going through and I wish I could take away their hurt.

princezjk · July 2013

Thank you for posting check-in, shandorfml2.

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Not really. I feel like I have slid back, but my therapist thinks I am just moving into the depression phase of grief. So, though I feel awful, I guess its a good sign that I working through my grief? I dunno. I just hate feeling like there isn't a goal or end in sight.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

My goal is to just keep going. I should probably have some smaller, easily attainable goals, but right now I feel like I am in survival mode. Just trying to get through work and my daily obligations. I guess I have the goal of being able to socialize with other people and not have anxiety.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?

This is a tough one. I have been thinking about it since last night. Everynight since we found out we were pregnant, DH would say goodnight to and kiss my belly. It was a ritual he always did, even if he was going to bed early, he never forgot. I also loved all the times I felt her move inside of me.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

Always my Izzie

bunnybun4 · July 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? I feel like the past 2 weeks have been MUCH better...I feel like I am in such a better place for the first time since my second loss.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? continuing to get fit...I went thru my closet the other night and almost everything is fitting again since being pregnant with Bunny. I still would like to get my tummy down a little more but after that I will be down to pre-pregnancy weight.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?feeling her move the handful of times I was blessed to do so...I will also never forget finding out that she was a girl and being so happy about that.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? DH and I are going on vacation to San Francisco on Thursday...I can not wait!!! I am so due for some time off to just have fun. Then my 2nd post mc AF is due immediately after and DH and I are debating if we will be TTCing again then...so that is a little stressful...I feel like if my AF is somewhat normal then we should go ahead, he is a little more hesitatant and I think kind of wants to wait another month...we will see...I just want to go on vacation and not think about it.

angelsnight · July 2013

Ticker warning

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week? Last Friday was my EDD. I went to the cemetery and read her a long letter of everything I felt and wanted to tell her. Then Saturday we had a balloon release and wrote messages on the balloons before sending them off to Heaven. It was healing to be with family and friends and to try to make last weekend a happy one instead of really sad.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal? I don't really have one, just trying to deal with the fact that she should be here now.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy? I have so many, but my favorite ever was when I first saw the kicks. I just laid there and watched my belly jump around, it was amazing.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? Thinking of how my life would be if she had lived. I'd be on maternity leave right now, home with my sweet baby.

christie212 · July 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?

Since the loss is still so raw and new, so far I have written down Hope's birth story and have been writing letters to her everyday. DH and I are going to attend a support group tonight.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?

Returning to work. Not sure if I will go back tomorrow, or just take this whole week off. Employer is being very understanding, but dont know if I can just stay home all week and not go crazy. DH has already returned to work.

Also, try to fit back into non-pregnancy pants. Since I had a D&C my stomach has already flattened out a lot.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?

Just rubbing my tummy and talking to Hope, telling her how much I love her and can't wait to meet her.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?

It's only been 4 days since Hope was born and passed. It feels like its been an eternity. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. I almost feel like I am having anxiety attacks once the sun goes down. I don't know how I am going to make it, I feel so hopeless (literally).

I am so glad I have all of you here to talk to. No one wants to be in here, but it brings comfort that you are not alone.

princezjk · July 2013

christie212 said:

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Since the loss is still so raw and new, so far I have written down Hope's birth story and have been writing letters to her everyday. DH and I are going to attend a support group tonight.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
Returning to work. Not sure if I will go back tomorrow, or just take this whole week off. Employer is being very understanding, but dont know if I can just stay home all week and not go crazy. DH has already returned to work.
Also, try to fit back into non-pregnancy pants. Since I had a D&C my stomach has already flattened out a lot.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?
Just rubbing my tummy and talking to Hope, telling her how much I love her and can't wait to meet her.

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
It's only been 4 days since Hope was born and passed. It feels like its been an eternity. I am having a lot of trouble sleeping. I almost feel like I am having anxiety attacks once the sun goes down. I don't know how I am going to make it, I feel so hopeless (literally).
I am so glad I have all of you here to talk to. No one wants to be in here, but it brings comfort that you are not alone.

GL with your support group tonight. I have found it to be one of the best things for me right now. It is actually something I look forward to. (((hugs)))

shandorfml2 · July 2013

Please take the time you need off from work. Your body, and emotions have been through a lot. How long does your doctor want you out from work?

bunnybun4 · July 2013

shandorfml2 said:

Please take the time you need off from work. Your body, and emotions have been through a lot. How long does your doctor want you out from work?

I second this!!! I didn't take enough time off...I wish I had slowed myself down and let myself grieve a little longer.

christie212 · July 2013

If the work question was related to me - Dr didnt specify. But, you guys are totally right. I might take this whole week off, but DH is already back at work and I feel crazy being alone at home.

Physically I am doing fine. I had a d&c to remove the stubborn placenta, so have barely any spotting/bleeding. Emotionally of course is a different story.

christie212 · July 2013

Can anyone explain why my lilypie ticker won't show up properly?

bunnybun4 · July 2013

@christie212

this link helped me figure out my ticker...it is from pgal so heads up there will be plenty of tickers on there. :

https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12005920/i-know-how-to-revert-back-to-our-old-siggies#latest

Dixon813 · July 2013

Have you taken any new steps towards healing this week?
Yeah, I think so. I painted the room that would've been their nursery and it's been therapeutic to spend time in that room. Plus, DH encouraged me to paint it the color I was planning.

Last Friday I was suppose to have my first appointment with a counselor, but I got the time wrong and was late and she couldn't squeeze me in. I was SO disappointed in myself, but I have an appointment for tomorrow.

What is the next goal you have set for yourself? Do you have a plan to help achieve that goal?
I guess my next goal is to go to the therapist tomorrow - first group therapy isn't for a couple weeks, still, but I know that will be difficult, too.

QOTW: What is your favorite memory/moment from your pregnancy?
My favorite? Probably the moment we learned the genders - I LOVED watching DH tear up when he heard "Congratulations, it's a girl!" (and then another girl and a boy! The perfect combo, exactly what we wanted!) It was also a lot of fun TELLING every one about the pregnancy, seeing people's reactions when we said TRIPLETS!

Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
I'm trying to enjoy the last couple weeks of summer. As a teacher, I have the summer off, and I was in the hospital most of May, so trying to enjoy the time at home as long as possible, before school starts.

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