DH vent LONG
kimberlybethh
member
I rarely post and not sure if this is the appropriate place but I'm too embarrassed to talk to anyone I know about this and I need to vent. Backstory: I have been planning my daughter's first birthday party for months. I made all the food, cupcakes, favors, decorations and birthday outfit. I probably went overboard but I wanted everything to be really special.Two of my best friends who live out of town and I rarely get to see were coming to the party. We had planned to have a girl's day after the party (it was in the morning) and get a hotel for that evening. I was very excited about this as I haven't done anything like this since my daughter has been born. My DH has known about this plan for months.
Fast forward to Saturday. The party was in the morning and it went really well. I am helping clean up and my MIL tells me to go into my daughter's room to help my DH. I do and see he is so drunk he can barely stand up. I hadn't spent a lot of time with him during the party since I was talking to everyone and when I saw him 45 min earlier he seemed fine so I'm shocked. I tell him to get the f@#$ away from our kid. Obviously, I can't leave my DD with him in this state so I planned to take her with my friends and I. My SIL who watches her often offered to take her so I could still spend time with my friends. We went back and forth but eventually she ended up taking her and I went with my friends.
I confronted my husband about his behavior the next day. He apologized and said he didn't know how strong the bloody Mary's were blah blah...and how this will never happen again. Despite his apology, I am still blinded by rage whenever I look at him. I don't understand how he could have been so irresponsible. He knew he was supposed to watch our DD the rest of the day and evening. WTF? Before this, I have never not been able to trust him with her. I have only seen him this drunk three other times. Who drinks like that a child's birthday party?!? I am also upset because I put a lot of time and effort into the party and now all I will remember is that my DH got drunk and ruined it.
I'm sorry this is so long. My DH was fine until he wasn't and then went in our room so no one really knows that this happened outside of the family. His behavior was so inappropriate that it is embarrassing to talk to anyone else I know about. It is still bothering me as I am on the bump at 3 am 
If you have made it this far thanks for listening!!!
Re: DH vent LONG
Thanks for the replies. I am overreacting. More than about ruining the party, I was upset about his lack of judgment that 1. he would drink that much knowing he was watching her shortly after the party and 2. that he tried to tell me he was fine to watch her when he couldn't even stand up by himself. I will let it go and will make him stop sleeping on the couch
However, as others have said, what's done is done, and at this point harping on it isn't going to help anyone, especially if it is truly an isolated incident as you say. I would sit down with your husband and have a heart to heart... tell him you are having trouble getting over it because you feel like he betrayed you and you can't trust him. Acknowledge that this isn't typical of him, and once you've talked it out, let it go. Try not to dwell, forgive him, and move on. Otherwise it will eat away at you/your relationship. Good luck!
I think everyone has said what is to be said. I mean, you do need to get past it, it's not a marriage ending event by any means and I think you know that.
You are correct that it's a big deal, though. You had a right to be angry about it and he needed to apologize, which he did.
The one thing I wanted to point out is that when someone is drunk, they often don't know exactly how drunk they really are, which is why he would have been insisting that he was sober enough to watch her when he really, obviously wasn't.