Question for those who have family do daycare

jaimevogt · July 2013

How do you handle situations when they're watching LO when you're not at work?

Do you pay them the same amount? Not pay them?

Not sure how to navigate this.

My brother and sister in law watch LO (7months) 1-2 days a week. We pay them a flat rate. How does this transition to other things, should we just assume we'll pay them every time they watch him (weekends) unless they invite him over?

skibunny59 · July 2013

My mom watches DD while I am at work. We have tried to pay her multiple times but she won't except any money from us. She also watches DD every once in a while when we go out but it is always her choice.

In your case, I would just offer to pay your brother for other things.

Mustardseed2007 · July 2013

I pay my sister a monthly rate, but I have yet to ask her to watch my LO any other time and really I won't end up ever doing it. The reason is simply that I want her to have a break from DS. The weekend is her time off.

I can do that very easily, though, b/c we have lots of family around that are glad to watch him for a date night or something like that (I don't pay them).

If I did have her watch him on a weekend or random day, then I would probably not pay her more, but I may offer to buy her lunch or dinner if she was watching him during a meal time. If it was for an overnight, for this sister I would pay her b/c she's kind of hard up. She doesn't live on the money we give her to watch DS, but it helps her out a lot.

sweetsunnyc · July 2013

My aunt watches DD1 on Thursdays for a few hours- She won't accept payment, but I have written a check for 50 here and there to cover snacks and what not.

When she has watched her during weekends or for longer hours, I offer to get dinner or bring over a bottle of wine when I pick her up.

2chatter · July 2013

My mom refused compensation, but I slipped her cash (in her wallet) and provided some random things for the girls. When they needed things like new toys at Mimi's I would give my oldest DD money and say "Mimi is taking you shopping!" so she could not refuse my money. If your brother/SIL refuse money, I would find ways to compensate them. If they expect payment for your arrangement, I would expect the same for other times. If they invite your child over, that's sticky. "Hey, DS can come over on Saturday so you guys can go out" might have a silent "but you have to pay us" attached. You will want to clarify this with them. Awkward!

CrawltheWarriorKing · July 2013

We paid my MIL to watch the babies once I went back to work so if we needed a weekend babysitter we usually didn't ask her, we'd ask my parents.

Now that my sister is watching them for the summer we take turns with our parents. I'd just try avoid using them as sitters for date nights.

itsmevkb · July 2013

My sister watches some of our kids during the week. We pay her a flat rate each week and then she'll sometimes have one of the older kids sleepover or watch them while we go out every so often. Those times she says she's watching them as their aunt and doesn't want us to pay her. Sometimes we'll give her money for pizza or something else for dinner. We pay her for weeks like spring break when my husband isn't teaching and will keep the kids home so I don't feel too bad about asking her to babysit a Friday night every once in a while.

jaimevogt · July 2013

Thanks for your help guys.

jf198400 · July 2013

We used to have my mom watch the kids FT. She would not take money from us. I felt like I could never ask her to babysit on the weekend unless it was a true emergency b/c she was already watching them all week long. I would always get MIL, SIL, or someone else for weekends. Now they are in DC so I ask my mom to babysit on weekends occassionally.

In your case I would offer to pay your SIL for weekend babysitting too.

StayingSecret · July 2013

I pay my sister a flat rate each month - whether I use her every day or not. I figured out a fair rate and said that I figured she'd take 2 weeks off/year for family vacations and such and it'd all just even out.

When I'm not at work and my sister babysits, she's just doing me a favor. Just like when I watch her LOs on the weekend.

If there's any confusion on it, then I'd use someone else for a babysitter on the weekends. Better to keep that relationship happy!

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