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November 2013 Moms
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I'm Just the Baby Carrier

jaymayhattonjaymayhatton member
in November 2013 Moms

I just got off the phone with my MIL, during the conversation she says, "I just had to call my grandbaby's momma". Normally this wouldn't bug me but she seems to be forgetting that I'm a person and not just a baby maker. During the Forth of July we went to a bbq with the ILs and MIL introduced me belly first. It went something like this: "Oh Leanne! I have someone you need to meet! This is... (I naturally reach out to shake Leanne's hand but then MIL grabs my belly)... my grandbaby!" I totally just stood there for a second in shock with my arm extended to this woman that I don't know, then looked at Leanne and said, "And I'm just the carrier" I tried to make it sound like a joke but I was not impressed with MIL. I understand that she's excited and I'm excited for her because this is the first grandbaby on DH and my side but darn it, I'm still a person... not just a baby mama! Anyone else having to go through this?

Me: 28 yo | DH: 28 yo
Married 2012
DD: 3 yo
TTC #2 August 2017
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Re: I'm Just the Baby Carrier

  • MsCrispyMsCrispy member
    Have to say no, that is just odd. What did the other lady say? It just sounds awkward for everyone.

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  • jaymayhattonjaymayhatton member
    MsCrispy said:
    Have to say no, that is just odd. What did the other lady say? It just sounds awkward for everyone.

    Totally awkward! The lady just laughed it off but made a point to say, "It's nice to meet you Jaymay" so it made me feel a little better. Thankfully she was a good sport. Sad thing is MIL didn't even realize the awkwardness...
    Me: 28 yo | DH: 28 yo
    Married 2012
    DD: 3 yo
    TTC #2 August 2017
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  • barista411barista411 member
    edited July 2013
    Yep . . . My MIL is the worst about that. Oh and it only gets worse once the baby gets here. MIL would steal DD and run around and introduce her to all of her friends and completely act like we didn't exist.
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  • skleylaskleyla member
    Not the same, but along the same lines: I was informed by a coworker that I will no longer an individual and will only be known as "Gavin's mom". Me: Errr..... I get it as an initial thing and in what will eventually become the circle of my son (teachers, my sons peers, their parents until proper introductions are made, "oh! You are Gavin's mom") i get that. Outside of my mommy role I am pretty sure I am still my own entity as well.
    Sadly I was stuck blinking instead of coming up with a awesome response like you.
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  • 3Dewdrops3Dewdrops member
    I became invisible to my dad once I had my first(who is also his first grandchild). Luckily my mom balances him out and I can tell I still come first to her.  (sigh) 

    Your MIL would drive me crazy. How rude can a person get?!
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  • babymama619babymama619 member
    wow, just wow.

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  • lafsalotlafsalot member
    Wow!!!! That is all, just wow, that is nervy!
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  • ElreidElreid member
    These types of comments are the exact reason I am tired of my IL's. They don't seem to understand that we are people, not just an incubator. If an in incubator was all that babies needed then women wouldn't have to worry about carrying a child. Some of my SO's friends have said things like "well your the mom, so you have to stay home and take care of the baby while C goes out with the guys on the weekends" and just basically telling me that since I'm a mom now that I don't matter to anyone but my LO. It's so upsetting. :( Sorry your MIL was saying these things. I'm glad you had a good comeback! I haven't been able to come up with one that fast when people comment on those things.   
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  • cagoldicagoldi member
    My Mom is like this. When she walked into my baby shower (late, I might add) she came up behind me and hugged my stomach and was talking to Atticus. I see this continuing when the baby comes, too. Now I'm just the baby carrier but later on I'll just be the milk maid.

    My cousin had her baby last May and at every family function she's pretty much invisible; everyone just walks right by her to greet her LO.
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  • wendy2613wendy2613 member

    Not the same as your but just as annoying. My MIL has told me that this grandbaby will have fair skin and blue eyes (DD1 and I have olive/tan skin with hazel eyes).

     She also doesn't feel a need for a bed time and has ignored DH's wishes when she sat and let DD1 stay up till 1am "becuase she didn't act tierd" SHE WAS 1!

    Lastly, she wont tell DD1 no to anything and gives her tons of sugar even though we tell her not to.

    Guess who only gets to babysit in emergancies latley?

    Sorry to vent on your post, MIL's can be so frustraiting.

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