first family trip to cemetery... rainbow baby mentioned

lrichmond86 · July 2013

Today we took Aubrey to the cemetery to visit baby Gary's grave for the first time. We brought some potted flowers and a bracelet the hospital had given us when she was born that says "I'm a big brother". It was really emotional for me to bring her there. For the first time since she was born I felt like I had both my babies with me. I always feel like he's with me in spirit but physically I feel that closeness only at the cemetery. It felt like our family was whole. Sometimes it surprises me how much I still miss my baby boy. Having Aubrey almost makes that more intense because I can see all that we missed with him... first smiles and snuggle times and hundreds of other proud mommy moments. I'm glad we brought her, though. I was always open about discussing our son and his passing before she was here and I don't plan to change that. His pictures will stay up on our family photo wall. We'll still visit the cemetery. I know it's a different reality than most kids grow up with, but I want it to feel normal to her. I don't want her brother to be a story we don't talk about. I'm so proud of both of my babies and I hope that she always knows that growing up. I wish she could have known her brother. Part of me believes that she does, in a way that none of us could ever understand. I believe that she is our gift from him, and I am so thankful for that. Sorry this became a rambling post. Thanks for letting me share.

angelsnight · July 2013

Ticker warning

How nice, I think that's very brave of your to teach your daughter about her brother. We plan to do the same. I want any rainbow babies to know they have a big sister in Heaven and I don't want it to be scary or weird for them, I want it to be very normal for them since they will always know about her, it's not like we'll one day tell our kids, by the way you have a sister.

My MIL believes that all new souls (not reincarnation) come from Heaven, so anyone we love in Heaven have already met them before we get to. I think that's a really nice way to think about it, so maybe Aubrey has already met her big brother. I know that doesn't work for everyone, but it comforts me to think that.

Noethola · July 2013

It sounds like quite honestly, you had a wonderful experience taking Aubrey to the cemetery for the first time. Having your whole family together...what a beautiful picture. :-) I too plan on making Elsie well known to her siblings, a normal part of their life, not a story they learn as teenagers. I hope that you continue to do well, parenting your child in your arms and your child in heaven.

princezjk · July 2013

Thank you for sharing. I plan to always keep Izzie a part of our family and hope to share her with her future siblings. I don't want to hide or deny her. I don't want any future children to feel weird about her and I think that starts by introducing her to them early. It sounds like you had a wonderful day with all of your children. (((hugs)))

fluttergirlmoonchild79 · July 2013

***siggy warning***

Thank you so much for sharing this. I often think about this and can't wait to take Shelby to the cemetery to see Corbin. Like you, I plan on telling Shelby all about her big brother. Your story makes me smile.

lrichmond86 · July 2013

Thank you, ladIes. Looking back it was a very nice day.

hopefulmom88 · July 2013

This sounds like a really beautiful day. I like your plan of introducing her to her brother early on so she can grow up knowing him. I plan on doing that with any future children that we are fortunate enough to have.

meli1025 · July 2013

Your day really does sound like it was beautiful, even though incredibly emotional. I'm so glad you did it and have committed to making sure Aubrey knows who her big brother is.

I often take my DS to the cemetery with me to bring flowers for Ava. He still doesn't know what it all means, but it also makes me feel good to have both of my children in the same place. It's always emotional but very healing as well.

((HUGS))

OSUWifey09 · July 2013

***SIGGY***

Your story made my heart melt. I'm so glad you were able to have your whole family there and share Gary with his new sister. We also plan to tell DS and our rainbow(s) about Devon, as he will always be a part of our lives. Thank you so much for sharing that story.

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