It's official.
+just+j+
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Offer was proposed today for the new job and I verbally accepted. I start in mid September.
I am moving again. Ugh.
And leaving my lovely little apartment behind. 
But I have a new kick ass job. Yay!
XH is trying to dictate where I should live and of course it's close to him. He also wants to be a part of the day care search. I told him to start looking. My problem: he's not paying for it. I do. 100%. And, he expects me to put her in daycare that's in between us, even if it means I drive west 10 miles and then back east to go to my job. Not going to happen. If you want such a big say bub. Then pay half.
Other than being closer to him, this move should be an easy one. I'll be closer to family, friends, and did I say I'll have a kickass job??
Re: It's official.
He wants joint custody and to have her more. He says 50/50. We'll see. I doubt he will have her half the time, but he says he's going to propose a new schedule.
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My Loves= SD 18 SS 16 SS13 DD13 DS10 SD6 SD5
I am going to put her in the daycare I choose. He claims to want her, and has even bragged about how all I have to do is say the word, he'd love to have his baby girl. But he's already back pedaled. I asked him if he would keep DD the week that I move and I already got fro him, "I don't know. It depends on how busy I am."
Assh*le.
I'm busy all of the time and I just make it f*cking work.
Whatever. Just like last time, I have plenty of people who love DD and will keep her for me when I move. I just think it's kind of joke to hear him profess how much he loves and wants to see DD and then when push comes to shove he has an excuse.
He's going to have to come up with visitation that I agree with. He's paying for the lawyer to have it legally written and submitted. If I like it, I'll sign but I sure as hell am not going to compromise on daycare if I am the one doing all the giving.
Jeeze, is the ink even dry on the original DA/CO? Give it some time. I wouldn't even have engaged him in a conversation about changing things. or daycare.
congrats on the new job, though!
Holly, currently we live 2 1/2 hours a part. I am moving to the same town for this job. I don't have a problem with him having her more, but I don't want it to be 50/50. I want her the majority of the time. However, given how he is now not answering any of my calls this weekend while he has her, and he once again told me this week to not "raise our daughter to be like me", I am reconsidering. My lawyer tells me that if he takes it to court, he very well could get 50/50 from the judge. I don't have anything substantial on him to fight it and he's been very good about paying his CS and taking her EOWE. My guess is so that if it goes to court, he will get what he wants.
So it's a question of whether or not I try to get an agreement out of court for something 30/70, or 40/60...or fight it and go to court. Court seems a bit ridiculous and would only be if I want to be stubborn - only to potentially lose.
At this point however, there will be no discussion about daycare anymore. She goes where I sign her up.
Yeah, I see what you are saying, I'm just surprised he would even be able to file for a modification this quickly. I thought most states have a standard 2 yr waiting period? Although you moving closer could be a substantial change in circumstance.
I definitely agree, better to give him an extra day here or there versus end up being CO'ed to go 50/50.
I have no idea if we can change it or not, but I'll have to check. I assumed that if we both were in agreement, we could, but if he can't take me to court for 2 years, then I may just refuse it all together.
XH is being a total prick right now. It's because I'm not playing his game anymore.
I have no time for his narcisstic games.
EXH made the same noise here a few years ago. I relied on his inability to follow through and took a gamble. I didn't want the schedule chaos of him having 50% custody and using 10% of his time, leaving me scrambling. IN theory, if he were to be a dependable parent, 50-50 would rock. So, anyway, I told him I thought it was too much change too fast and proposed a 12 month graduated schedule, adding one day per week - evenings first, then more overnights. It was very slow. We agreed on Wednesdays (ha, already in the CO, but he never read that and never took his time even when I explained it to him). I also was open and explained with work I needed to be able to rely on him so DDs were cared for.
He never made it with consistent Wednesdays, so per our agreement, never moved forward for more custody. I documented the hell out of it so a judge could see that 50-50 was not in anyone's best interest, as he couldn't keep up with more than EOWKND.
Might be worth a shot. If he manages to go every Wednesday after DC until 7 PM or whatever works for DD, she gets more of her Dad. As for the "not like you" I got all of that too. Count on having more time, so what he says will not weigh the same as what DD sees. It's worked here so far, and DDs are 9 and 5.
Jesus Chatter, I swear we are married to the same damn man. Maybe they are long lost brothers. XH does not know his real dad after all...
I hope to teach my daughter to choose better.