Sometimes I cannot even deal with how temperamental and sensitive my husband can be. I try, try, try to let him parent DD as much as possible and do his own thing, but when she's screaming and crying and fighting a nap because she's hungry, and she's happily settled and awake and not crying in her crib 15 minutes after she's nursed (and has now been asleep for more than an hour)... I am not going to apologize. He gets so upset when I take her to feed her because he feels like I'm just taking over, but I am meeting a basic need. This is NOT about us. And I'm not going to let her get worked up and suffer needlessly because he doesn't think she's hungry.
BFing is just complicated. You're providing nourishment, which is fundamental, but it's also a bonding thing, so there are emotions involved, too. I absolutely DO NOT think it interferes with a dad's ability to be able to be 100 percent involved with his child, it just creates some friction sometimes (mostly because at least in our case, DD is a mama's girl right now, and DH's feelings get hurt). Thanks for the commiseration, ladies... we're fine now, he just needed some time to get over it.
BFing is just complicated. You're providing nourishment, which is fundamental, but it's also a bonding thing, so there are emotions involved, too. I absolutely DO NOT think it interferes with a dad's ability to be able to be 100 percent involved with his child, it just creates some friction sometimes (mostly because at least in our case, DD is a mama's girl right now, and DH's feelings get hurt). Thanks for the commiseration, ladies... we're fine now, he just needed some time to get over it.
Glad you guys got it sorted out.. I totally get the sad feeling when LO is in a "mommy phase" or "daddy phase".. DS has been going through a mega daddy phase again and it makes me so much more sensitive to things than I normally would be.. Usually, in cases like that DH will just make a point to differentiate between me being overly sensitive and just remind me that he loves us both the same, etc etc etc (of course I know that already, but helps to him say it and acknowledge that it's tough to see him always want daddy and not mommy)... Anyway, like you said.. bFing is a two way street.. Sure there's a bonding component, but its also providing essential nourishment,, he wouldn't deprive her of a bottle if she was due to eat, same as you shouldn't withhold the boob!
My DH's feeling get hurt to because DD is a total mamma's girl. He always thinks I'm lecturing him too, but somethings are just not ok. Like he had her alone the other night while I took DD1 to the fair. He said he ran in the other room to grab the camera while she was in the tub. Obviously I said something, if you're alone and forget the camera you either take her with our miss out on pictures. HE got mad at ME for saying something!
Re: Seriously, DH?
Glad you guys got it sorted out.. I totally get the sad feeling when LO is in a "mommy phase" or "daddy phase".. DS has been going through a mega daddy phase again and it makes me so much more sensitive to things than I normally would be.. Usually, in cases like that DH will just make a point to differentiate between me being overly sensitive and just remind me that he loves us both the same, etc etc etc (of course I know that already, but helps to him say it and acknowledge that it's tough to see him always want daddy and not mommy)... Anyway, like you said.. bFing is a two way street.. Sure there's a bonding component, but its also providing essential nourishment,, he wouldn't deprive her of a bottle if she was due to eat, same as you shouldn't withhold the boob!