Sharing pregnancy news with friends who are TTC

Re: Sharing pregnancy news with friends who are TTC

• pinkangelmoon member

  July 2013

  amilyn9785 said:

  I think I might tell her via email or something rather than face to face. She may need some time to process that without the pressure of being right in front of you. Also might relieve any potential disappointment for you if she doesn't have a great reaction face to face when she finds out.
  I don't think I said that very well but I hope you kwim.

  I think this is the best way to do it. I was never told in person from any of my friends so I don't know how I would have reacted. Being told by email or by my husband let me have my "why not me" pity party in private and then expressed my (honest) happiness for them afterwards.

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• JAck5209 member

  July 2013

  I get what your saying about email or text but it just seems too impersonal. Would you tell a really close friend that way? I'll definitely do it in private so she can react however she needs. I'm not expecting a huge excited response and that's okay. Even if she doesn't say anything, it's fine. I just want her to hear from me and have her time to process the information in peace.
  
  Gah! I wish I could help them have a baby. They will be amazing parents and it's unfair.

  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  *Proud Air Force Wife*
  
  "I'll love you forever,
  I'll like you for always.
  As long as I'm living,
  my baby you'll be."

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• lh80 member

  July 2013

  If it's a really close friend, just do it in person. It took us a couple of years, and during that time I had a few close friends get pregnant. Though it was hard to hear every time, I felt better hearing in person than via text. I'm sure you'll say "hopefully you'll be joining me soon", which will slightly turn the attention being all about you. It will be tough for your friend, but she's your friend, it will be fine.

  
  
  
  
  

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• singingirl96 member

  July 2013

  First of all, you shouldn't feel guilty for being fertile. It sucks that your friend is having fertility issues.  I've been there.  It took us 8 years.  In my journey I've heard about many pregnancies, and it hurts.  bad.  Like BethAndBen said, I was happy for my friends, but sad for me. I've cried about them, and even have distanced myself for a little while, but in the end I knew that my fertile friends would continue to have babies around me and it would have to be ok with me.  Just because I couldn't have the joy of my own children, It shouldn't stop me from being happy for them.
  
  With that being said, IF YOU CARE ABOUT THIS PERSON DO NOT DO IT VIA TEXT OR EMAIL. I can't emphasize that enough.  That is extremely impersonal. 
  
  If she is your friend, you should tell her in person, not in a public place.  She'll likely be happy for you, give you hugs and be very excited in your joy (she'll probably cry her eyes out in the car on the way out, but that's ok).  Or, she may cry in front of you.  This is your opportunity to show her that you care, and that you hope her treatments work.   Be compassionate. Don't be a coward and do it over email.  Put yourself in her shoes (though you'll never know what that pain is like), how would you want to be told?
  
  Good luck.
  
  

  Me: 36 (Endo) DH: 39 (Azoo)
  5 DIUI - BFN
  IVF#1 - BFP - AJ 7/12
  FET#1 - BFP Due 7/24/14

  
  
  
  

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