Ok, I asked our best friends who are Catholic and apparently all the big churches here have nurseries.
Yeah, I think it's just my exact area where the churches are unfriendly. I think having childcare comes in when church is seen as a community, where around here it's a building in which to worship and nothing more. Our particular church and all the ones I've been members of (3 total, so not that many) has no community or fellowship aspect to it, you go and worship and go home.
It definitely depends on the church. We are Catholic, and at our old parish in the city, there was no cry room/nursery, but everyone loved seeing the kids. People stopped us all the time after Mass to play with the kids, gave us gifts and just made a big fuss over them. The pastor married us and christened both kids, and sometimes he used us as examples in his sermons. I love that guy, he has since been moved to another church in DC
We still go back to that church when we go, because we don't love the Catholic church close to where we live now.
Anyway, it was still hard for us at that age. We would end up having to take them out most times. It does get easier OP!
Ok, I asked our best friends who are Catholic and apparently all the big churches here have nurseries.
Yeah, I think it's just my exact area where the churches are unfriendly. I think having childcare comes in when church is seen as a community, where around here it's a building in which to worship and nothing more. Our particular church and all the ones I've been members of (3 total, so not that many) has no community or fellowship aspect to it, you go and worship and go home.
Have you considered checking out other churches, perhaps other dominations? I don't want to get all preachy but perhaps organized religion isn't for you because you haven't found the right fit?!?
My H and I searched for the right church off and on for five years before we found a Lutheran church we love. Finding the right community has made all the difference for us.
I second this. I go to an Assembly of God church, and it's so different from what you describe. We have fellowship time before the service with donuts and coffee (heck, we usually start 15 minutes late because the pastor is such a social butterfly), there are 2 nurseries, and no one thinks anything of it if you're walking the floors with a cranky baby. You're definitely checked on if you're not there, a bunch of us go play volleyball together on Sunday afternoons, etc. It's a community. It makes me sad that churches turn people off the way you describe.
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Honestly, my life does not seem to be missing anything by not going to church or we would look. But at this point I'm comfortable that there definitely is some sort of higher being but he/she/it has absolutely no preference as to whether we worship in a specific way or attend services. We try to live good lives, be kind to others, teach our children to think about others and we don't need a structure to live that way.
I put my kiddos in the nursery yesterday at church. The family in front of me didn't (I think her son was about 3) and it was do distracting for me I couldn't enjoy or focus on the service. First she gave him chips to crunch on....very loud. Then he played with the phone for a bit, Then some sort of fruit snack and he cried/whined when she wouldn't give him more. Then he screamed out NO at one point. He kept hitting the back of his head on the wooden pew by accident and the both parents would fawn over him, etc.
I get that kids need to go to church and learn. That being said, nurseries are there for a reason. The activities are age appropriate and gives them something to do other than sit for an hour having to be quiet and still.
Having kids in church is one thing but if it is distracting others enough that you are interfering with their worship than it becomes a problem.
If you DH is worried, have him sign up to volunteer to work in the nursery and see what happens in there. I would bet that they probably have more credentials and background checks than he is aware. Heck even to lead a group around at VBS at the Catholic Church her, they conducted an interview, I had to watch a 30 minute video and they called references.
Honestly, my life does not seem to be missing anything by not going to church or we would look. But at this point I'm comfortable that there definitely is some sort of higher being but he/she/it has absolutely no preference as to whether we worship in a specific way or attend services. We try to live good lives, be kind to others, teach our children to think about others and we don't need a structure to live that way.
That is completely fair. Sorry for getting so personal. I know religion can be touchy.
Not a problem at all! Just explaining why we were turned off to organized religion. It could be that if DH ends up with a professorship far away and we have trouble meeting people we might look for a church community, but it would likely be unitarian universalist since we no longer believe in Christianity.
Re: Church with a 13 month old
DS 3.12.08
DD 7.11.09
DD 8.01.13
My H and I searched for the right church off and on for five years before we found a Lutheran church we love. Finding the right community has made all the difference for us.
I second this. I go to an Assembly of God church, and it's so different from what you describe. We have fellowship time before the service with donuts and coffee (heck, we usually start 15 minutes late because the pastor is such a social butterfly), there are 2 nurseries, and no one thinks anything of it if you're walking the floors with a cranky baby. You're definitely checked on if you're not there, a bunch of us go play volleyball together on Sunday afternoons, etc. It's a community. It makes me sad that churches turn people off the way you describe.
**Nestie Besties with Deutschefairy**
Diagnosed PCOS '03, TTC #1 Since March '09
BFP - 10/20/10, M/C - 10/29/10
June 2011 - 50mg Clomid = No O
Dieted and exercised my butt off for PCOS = BFP 5/7/2012
Due 12/29/2012