Co-Sleepers - We Need You!

Bump Liz · January 2013

Are you a co-sleeper?

We are looking to get some input from our community on why you decided to co-sleep with baby and why it works?

Thank you!

Bump Liz

RioG1978 · January 2013

Do you mean just to reply here?

I co-slept with baby in bassinette from day one because of the reduction in SIDS risk, and just couldn't imagine my tiny baby sleeping alone in another room.

Around the 4 month mark I brought her in to bed with me out of desperation (4 month wakeful) and loved it. I loved the closeness, the ease in breast feeding, the bonding... it just felt very right to have her in bed with me. She's 7 months now and I can sense our co-sleeping days are coming to an end (she's starting to seem like she sleeps better in her crib) but I'm letting her lead the way on that. I don't see us co-sleeping in to toddlerhood, but for now we both love it, and I think it has really helped our bonding. I'm glad I "gave in" during that desperate time of no sleep

Emerald27 · January 2013

We started cosleeping within his first week home. DS had to wear a biliblanket for jaundice and would not sleep unless we were holding him. This prompted us to research cosleeping, and we learned about its benefits when practiced safely. DS is such a confident, independent, and well rested child. He loves bedtime and giggles as he snuggles close to fall asleep. We know that he won't be small and snugly forever, and we are loving every moment of this opportunity to be close to him.

ETA: Why "it works"? It makes nursing during the night very easy, allowing everyone to get more sleep, and it virtually eliminates tears and angst from bedtime.

BelhurstBride · January 2013

Research has concluded that co-sleeping greatly reduces SIDS. We made the decision to have DD sleep in a bassinet in our room while I was still pregnant; it was just a given to us. In addition to reducing the risk of SIDS, as a BFing mom it made things slightly easier for me.

We didn't make the decision to bed share until we were in the thick of things. After a lot of research we decided it was what was best for our family.

JayandEmm · January 2013

We bedshared since ds was 2 months old, out of desperation. He would wake up every half hour all night long looking for me, when we brought him to bed, he would sleep soundly.

Bedsharing has made nursing easy at night. I don't know how many times he gets up and nurses, I just sleep through most of it!

rboisvert · January 2013

We co-slept from the beginning since our baby would not sleep on her back I felt better with her in the co-sleeper. Around 4 months when I went back to work the sleep hit the fan. I would fall asleep nursing her and decided that we needed to bed-share safely instead of what I was doing. We still bed share though she starts the night in her toddler bed in her room she will come to our room in the middle of the night. She is still nursing at 20 months so this keeps me in bed and better rested.

anicolej26 · January 2013

We started cosleeping so mommy and daddy could actually get some sleep! Our LO screams at night if he isn't beside one of us.

pitterpatter129 · January 2013

We started bedsharing in the hospital! I had a csection, and getting up and down to get a baby wasn't going to work for me. When I got home, he coslept next to me since I slept on the couch for a week or so. Then he went back and forth between the bassinet by our bed and sharing our bed for the first six months. We researched how to do it safely and had our pediatrician's blessing. It made breastfeeding much easier and he was much more content next to us. Sleep is very important to our entire family! He exclusively bedshared between six and fourteen months. Around 14 months when the bed became a little too crowded and we decided to try for a second baby soon, we moved him to a floor bed next to us to cosleep instead of bedshare. Even though he starts the night in his own room now, he knows that his floor bed is always open to him and often joins us in the middle of the night. I think it's really helped with some separation anxiety and dealing with bad dreams as he has gotten older. It makes me happy to wake up to all the people I love dreaming near me and having the ability to hear them all breathe. I always imagine if there is an emergency or a fire, I can just scoop everyone up and run out without fear of not being able to get to them. A few silly mom worries conquered!

ncbelle · January 2013

Very important...you need to distinguish between co-sleeping -having baby in the same room - and bed sharing - sleeping on the same surface as baby. Co-sleeping is endorsed and encouraged by the AAP as it has been shown to reduce SIds rates. Bed sharing can also be done safely but mainstream sources have been reluctant to endorse it out of a fear that people won't follow the "rules".

And if you are going to do some sort of article on this, please please please include information on SAFE bedsharing - If safe bedsharing rules are followed, bed sharing is safer than crib sleeping. When they aren't ....that's when it can be dangerous (for example sleeping in a chair or on the couch with baby, using pillows and blankets, using meds or alcohol while bed sharing, etc.).

I'd also point out that this isn't a "trendy" thing - the vast majority of the world's children co-sleep and the majority of those are bed sharers.

Why do I bed share? Because babies sleep better snuggled with their mamas and mamas get more sleep when they can feed in bed vs having to get up to feed.

Marsee · January 2013

We decided to co-sleep while I was pregnant because of the decreased risk of SIDS and it seemed like it would be more convenient. We used the Arm's Reach CoSleeper.

We started bedsharing out of desperation. I had PPD and low milk supply and the lack of sleep to get up to tend to a crying baby didn't help either of my problems. After researching how to do it safely, we started bedsharing and are still doing it today. The LC I had been seeing recommended it for my low milk supply. I noticed my supply (though it never got to where it should have been) did increase and my PPD got much better.

I would recommend it to anyone as long as they follow the safety rules. And please listen to ncbelle (^above^) ? she's very wise. Smile

HattieLove · January 2013

This cartoon perfectly illustrates how and why I bedshare:

https://www.thefoodoflove.org/why-co-sleep/

lady_tytah · January 2013

We bedshare and love it. I started out in the bassinet next to the bed but after having difficulties with bfing I decided to brinh him in the bed to help by doing the dangle method. When we moved to EP, I kept him in the bed because I love the bond we formed. We'll soon be transitioning him o the crib and I am dragging my feet lol.

happywife2b · January 2013

I never knew there was anything called "attachment parenting," I just knew that I could not leave my baby in another room, alone, in the dark. It seemed cruel. I also had a C-section and couldn't get out of bed easily. For multiple reasons, I kept my first in bed with me until she stopped breast feeding (around 4 mos). It made me sleep better, knowing she was with me. It made her a more sound sleeper, smelling and feeling mom. After she stopped breast feeding, I moved her out of our bed and into a pack and play right next to the bed. I think she stayed there for a few more months before we tried a crib in her own room. Because she was such a secure and sound sleeper she had no problem with the transition. I will do it again with our upcoming baby. Hopefully same results!

katiewhompus · January 2013

I knew we would co-sleep in some fashion due to my anthropology classes in college 8 years prior to having a kid. The idea of the baby sleeping in the same room/bed as the parent is the norm is most of the world, just not where I live.

We room shared using a Rock N Play from day 1 to 7 months. Dd was/is a problematic sleeper and having her close by allowed me to nurse her down without me fully waking. It also has been shown to reduce SIDS risk,

When she outgrew her RnP she moved into our bed, where she currently sleeps at 17 months. To us, it feels natural and allows all parties to get sleep. We plan on moving her out around 2 with a bit of ceremony in regards to her 'big girl bed;.

We did try having her sleep in a crib, due to peer pressure of "how it should be" and we were all miserable. We do what works best for our family.

BabyGirl1331 · January 2013

We have bed-shared since day 1. So far it is working great, and we love it. I am dragging my feet putting my son into his own room (he is 5 months). Hoping the transition won't be too horrible.

Lbloom · July 2013

It was the best way for us all to get more sleep. Makes breastfeeding easier in the middle of the night. She has always slept better being held or next to me. I often nap next to her during the day. Best thing for both of us to feel well-rested.

Runaway22 · July 2013

We started bedsharing in the hospital. It honestly never occurred to me to put him in his bassinet when he fell asleep - not to mention I had a c-section and getting up and down was something I wanted to avoid as much as possible.

I bought a Summer Infant snuggle nest while pregnant, but neither baby nor I liked it. He doesn't sleep unless he's next to me, and I'm OK with that. We both get much more sleep without it Smile

st.augbride · July 2013

I knew I definitely wanted to co-sleep as it is easier on mom and baby for sleep and feeding, plus it reduces the risk of SIDS. Dd slept well in a RNP next to me, but when she outgrew it, she refused to go into her crib which is also in our room. Out of desperation we started bed sharing. I was quite reluctant to do this at first since it just isn't as safe as the crib. But we both sleep well this way and she eats well without fully waking either of us. So I went ahead and made it a better environment. I cleared off the bulky pillows and blankets and installed a guard rail on my side of our large king bed. She is now almost 7 months and I do want to get her in the crib (still co-sleeping in our room), but am not sure how to do it. We tried Ferber this past weekend and it was a disaster (got progressively worse rather than better each night, which is the opposite of how it's supposed to go). So for now it's back to bed sharing, but I will try the crib again soon.

Gwyneddlesliegrace · July 2013

We have bed shared with all of our kids from day one and will this time around too. First of all I get sleep when baby is right near me, second it makes breast feeding 1000% easier. Third, it seems strange to have this baby that you carry for 10 months inside of you, and then you wont let it sleep with you.

It has been proven that babies sleep better near mama.

9fraulein · July 2013

I didn't think I was going to do it but we started bedsharing at the hospital. It just seemed too weird to let her sleep in a plastic box, plus she seemed too cold and if she slept on my chest she stayed warm.

youenjoymyself · July 2013

Lbloom said:

It was the best way for us all to get more sleep. Makes breastfeeding easier in the middle of the night. She has always slept better being held or next to me. I often nap next to her during the day. Best thing for both of us to feel well-rested.

This exactly.

JessieJH · July 2013

Replying late, but better than never!

I had not expected to co-sleep before my daughter's birth, but we had always intended to have her in our room. My husband couldn't stand the thought of her on her own. As he likes to say: what is the definition of dependence, if not for a baby? So, early on we kept our daughter in an Arm's Reach Co-sleeper next to our bed. that worked very well while she was small. Around 4 months her sleep patterns changed drastically and she seemed to need much more comfort/nursing. At this time she started sleeping in the bed with me- safely. We researched things and ensured that pillows/blankets were used properly, so that she was safe. Eventually we moved our mattress to the floor.

I see the primary benefits, for me, as: easy to breast feed (I believe this has helped us to maintain breastfeeding so long), I got more sleep, daughter felt more comforted and seemed to sleep easier. Mostly I love the closeness. She's with me all night and when she's restless at all I can quickly soothe her to sleep. Mornings are amazing! DH, myself and our daughter are all in the same bed. When she wakes up there is always a lot of cuddling, playing, reading stories. It's a very special time for us as a family and is unlike any other time of the day.

I remember one of our friends telling us that we 'owed' it to our daughter to teach her to put herself to sleep and to be independent- that it would be a 'gift'. However, for us, it did not make sense. We bring tiny, helpless creatures in to the world and like any mammal they need to be close to their parents. As other posters have said- this is pretty normal in many other places in the world.

Co-sleeping also does not last forever. Our daughter has recently shown us that she's comfortable with more space. We've set up a Montessori floor bed and she sleeps 5-9 hours a night there, spending the remainder with us. She loves it and right now I'm still happy to have her with us for even a few hours.

Jbosarge85 · July 2013

I wish my hospital let you bedshare but they don't. In fact when she was a few months old my husband got blood clot in his leg and had to go to the hospital and was there 4 days and we stayed there with him the whole time. Well each night I slept with her and nobody said anything, then on the last day one of the new nurses decided she didn't like bedsharing and brought in a bassinet and told me it was against hospital policy to bedshare because it's not safe and made me put her in the bassinet. I cried the rest of the night,

Jbosarge85 · July 2013

Runaway22 said:

We started bedsharing in the hospital. It honestly never occurred to me to put him in his bassinet when he fell asleep - not to mention I had a c-section and getting up and down was something I wanted to avoid as much as possible.
I bought a Summer Infant snuggle nest while pregnant, but neither baby nor I liked it. He doesn't sleep unless he's next to me, and I'm OK with that. We both get much more sleep without it

oops forgot to hit quote this is for my above comment

aiche Umm Ayoub · July 2013

I co sleep because it works makes breastfeeding 100% easier at night and baby is near so if he spits up or makes weird noises I can check on him .

We have a arms reach co sleeper on our bed .

kristinyoung111 · July 2013

I was all about having my baby sleep in the crib before I had her. When we got home, it was extremely difficult to get her to sleep anywhere except my chest. We had a bassinet, and we tried putting that in the bed with us with her in the bassinet, but she still kept waking up, and pain from my C-section made it difficult to pick her up from the bassinet. So, I started having her sleep on my chest with pillows under each of my arms. We both slept better this way.

At about one month, she still napped on my chest but I started putting her next to be in the bed because I had started breastfeeding on my side during the night. My hubby and I both like this because we both get to snuggle with her. We are very aware of her movements and where she is at, so we do not worry about rolling over on her. We keep the blanket and pillows far from her face. She loves sleeping with us and is always the most relaxed in bed. And it is SO easy to breastfeed with her in bed. Both me and baby barely have to wake up to feed, and I can respond immediately to any fussiness. I'm managing to get much better sleep than I would ever have expected. I am going to be sad when she wants to move into her crib. She is finally starting to sleep there if we set her down in it while she is tired, but she will often become scared when she wakes up in there.

maven212 · July 2013

We coslept using a portable crib from day one. It is almost 8 months later and I have just gotten around to pushing LO's crib to the other side of the room. We only have a one bedroom, so LO was always going to start off sleeping in our room. We rolled her crib right up to my side of the bed because she was a baby that would not tolerate being put down. She needed to be held constantly. She quickly developed colic....really severe colic...and we felt that have her right with us, yet in her own crib would be comforting and safe for her.

thatoneredhead · July 2013

I coslept using the RnP and then bedshared as he got older and more mobile.

Eventmerlin · July 2013

We coslept in a cosleeper next to our bed but LO ended up falling asleep better in bed resting in my arm. It never felt right for me to have my dd sleep apart from me. It felt safer when I could feel her breathing and awake when she stirred to nurse. Like others have said it makes breast feeding wayyy easier. For centuries mothers slept with babies next to them, it is a natural instinct for a mother not to want her baby apart from her. In many societies it is still accepted and widely practiced. It's unfortunate that here it is taboo and instead of properly educating new moms they are scared off from it. It isn't right for all, but it would bring sanity to many.

jafiorino · July 2013

We planned to co-sleep until she was 6 months old due to the decrease in SIDS risk. It has also made breastfeeding much easier, and now I think she'll definitely be in our room until at least 1 year old. It is so easy to get her back to sleep when she wakes in the night, as opposed to not waking until I hear her actually crying on the monitor. I've actually never had to hear my baby cry in the night, or spend more than 10 minutes nursing/getting her back to sleep. We ended up bedsharing which I thought I'd never do, and she still usually sleeps next to me after her 3:30 am feeding just because I love snuggling with her and it helps her sleep in later. I can't imagine making her sleep alone in her bedroom down the hall anytime soon! Like many posters, I had never heard of attachment parenting and just became a babywearing, co-sleeping, EBF mommy naturally.

MayKay12 · July 2013

I co-slept and then bed shared with both kids. Nursing was easier, I got more sleep and the babies got more sleep. I felt better with them right there. I could easily check on them and make sure they were ok. My son 19 months still sleeps with us and my daughter 3.5 just decided on her own to move out of our bed. They are both securely attached and great sleepers.

OwlCam · July 2013

I had never intended on bedsharing, but our little lady slept better with us. At first we did lose sleep over making sure that she was safe, and I must admit it was hard with the limitations of pillows and blankets (I love them). We now just love it. I sleep better when she's with us. We sort of went with the flow, and it's working.

lizardknitter · July 2013

I had no intention of bed-sharing. But once home from the hospital, DD wouldn't sleep any other way than next to me. We had planned to co-sleep, with DD in a bassinet next to our bed. She cried all night long, only falling asleep once she was in my arms. The next day, I did some research and found there were safe ways to bed-share. We all got more sleep and it certainly made BF'ing easier.

&orchid& · August 2013

I had setup a cosleeper in our room and as soon as I put him in it he'd awake and start crying as a newborn. So, I slept with him on my side of the bed (my husband is a heavy sleeper). I really liked it until he was about 5 months or so when he started getting really attached at wanting to literally nurse all night long (using me as a paci). So, I wasn't getting any sleep. At 6 months once the risk of SIDS went down, I started transitioning him into the crib.

MsCat19 · August 2013

I choose to bedshare/co-sleep to aide in my breastfeeding success. I didn't have a great breastfeeding experience with my oldest and really needed to make sure that this baby went a different route. She'll be 16 months on Monday and I'll be 20 weeks along on Saturday and we're still going strong! There are other contributing factors, but that was my primary motivation.

Schell2013 · August 2013

I never planned to co sleep but after recovering from a CS it was the easiest for us. I love sleeping with her, she has been sleeping through the night since she was 6 weeks old and I think co sleeping is the one to give credit to for it. I simply lay on my side nurse her to sleep and she is out for the night. I just love waking up with her, and on weekends it's so nice to spend the morning with her and DH, it works so good for our family, 3 months in and we are always rested.

We always keep safety in mind, I have a bed rail up on my side and she sleeps between me and the rail. I only have one pillow, one thin blanket and she doesn't have any blankets, unless its cool out ill give her a small reviving blanket, I only sleep in a bra so there is nothing that can get in the way of her face.

I honestly couldn't imagine her sleeping in another room, as long as everyone is getting sleep I don't care how we get it.

jackersCU · August 2013

From day 1, my DH and I knew we were going to co-sleep with our DD. The research on the reduction in SIDS and me EBF'ing, I knew they only way we were going to make it was if she was in the room with us. What I didn't expect was that bed sharing would also be something we did. For the first 5 weeks that's the only way our LO would get the sleep she needed. We have since transitioned into a little more compromise, but we are all still in the same room and will be until at least 6 months. It's the one of the best decisions we made

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